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I feel so stressed everyday and it gets worse
25 F
I began working full time at 23. During this time my boss who really wasnt my boss but she was head of the department annoyed me. Giving me this to do out of my duties etc. Hence, I would get upset then one day I eventually told her about it. She said that these were the duties she designed for the position and that by doing them I was helping out the department etc. I explained to her that stuff that she added to my role was not what I agreed to do when I signed the contract with my actual boss. Soon after I got a job in Latin America and left so not much came out of that situation. When I was leaving and stuff she bought me gifts and organized a goodbye party so no harm was done. Now in my new job in another country I have so much to do and all these duties are in my contract but before signing it I asked HR about them and I was assured that it was not as complicate or tedious as I imagined. However, it is in fact worse. I wanted to quite the very first day but I had already bought a return ticket home for the end of the contract. This week I had to deal with so much issues with HR where I stayed home one day and was not paid for 2 because I didnt inform them before that I was staying home.Many other stuff at work is just draining me but it is too much to write. I am tired of being told what to do or I cannot stay home unless I am really sick. During my break and lunch I have duties. I work about sometimes 12 hours a day.It is reallyy draining me. So much so that these days I dont want to do anything, I dont want to cook, go to the gym, watch a series or a movie, talk on the phone or in person. I just want to exist. In a month the contract will end but everyday is really hard some are so hard I need to go home and cry. Besides my work life. I am struggling to meet a guy that meets all the most important requirements that I have. My hair is damaged since moving and I dont know how to fix it. Everything seems to be falling apart. Worst of all is that when I move back home in a month I will have more problems becuause part of the reason why I left was to avoid the problems with my family. I am desparately looking for an online job when I can live here in this country. However, I cannot find one and this adds to the pain I feel dealing or trying to deal with life
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It is so expensive for younger adults to survive these days, that I really feel for them. If life at home was toxic,(you didn't specifically say) then it is a good thing you left. If not, and there were more of disagreements and rules to follow since it is your parents home and that is reasonable to ask of adult children living at home, that is a situation that is best to find a way to coexist in peace with them. I am sure you have heard the saying, When the going gets tough, the Tough get going. What it does not mean is that people run away, as in going away from their issues but work on them first. Then if not resolvable, make some decisions on where you might go and what to do. This saying means that when your life situation get hard to live with, the 'get going' part means that instead of wilting like a flower out of water, you tackle these problems head on right as they are happening and if you don't know for sure what to do, that is the moment you need advice, not way after the fact . Have friends you can turn to for advice, or on here as you have done. Sometimes it is good to have a 'sounding board'. In dictionary it is explained as: A person or group whose reactions to an idea, opinion, or point of view serve as a measure of its effectiveness or acceptability. It is especially helpful when you are a young adult experiencing things you haven't before but need to hear wisdom from others your age who have experienced this already and what they have done to resolve their issues, or older people in your life who have done the same successfully. I am already retired, but I do hear of the problems employers and employees are experiencing. This issues happened when I was working but very seldom. Now today it seems as if incompetency among leaders such as bosses, supervisors, trainers, is the new normal. Instead of simply quitting, take the route of advice, even if the parents are people you feel you can't count on, but perhaps an aunt or uncle, grandparent, maybe even a pastor if you attend church. IF I had heard from you days after the first job issue happened, I might have been able to give some advice. Although advice is just that, advice, the final decision is yours. But it is good to make that decision after hearing of all possible routes you can take to solve such an issue. In an online article of job horror stories, one man said like you he was being asked to do things that were not in his job description, and it happened as a routine, not just once or twice so he tape recorded them when they objected to his comment about it not being in his original hiring contract. He found an agency that helps employees./bosses when there is an issue, acting as a third party to bring things to a good solution, someone to act as as advocate for the employee or if part of a Union, a union rep. in a meeting with you and boss. Turns out supervisor was heaping extra work on employee so they didn't have to do it. When the boss who hired the employee was alerted of the meeting and the problem, the supervisor was fired and the employee promoted. This is the kind of outcome I'd like to see come for you. I want to say something I see, but I may be very wrong, or you may simply not be aware that you are doing this. But I see you leaving every bad and stressful life situation instead of going through the right channels to solve an issue. As I said before, if a situation can not be solved, at least you have a paper trail as proof that you did everything in your power to set things right. This can be useful in a new job sought, where they ask if they can talk to your past boss. If a past boss were to say bad things about you, you suffer. If there was no way to reach the last boss, then you have paperwork to prove what happened and why they can't talk to the former boss. As for family, I do not know what was going on there so I can't speak on that. At some point, I want you to realise that the same problem is going to follow you through your life until you learn to stand up to it and do your best to resolve it with leaving or running away being your last option, not your first. If I am wrong here and you did try, I apologize but I only have what you typed and how you chose to explain to go on.
Now, about anxiety, I suffered an issue which caused great anxiety for me, an abusive first marriage so I experienced what long term anxiety can lead to. Depression seems the most common, that would be anxiety attacking your mind, your self worth, how you feel and ends in depression. The other way it can go if it can not attack your mind(my case) due to mind being at a very strong place (praying to God) and therefore not feeling alone and helpless, the stress has to go somewhere. In my case, the other place it goes is one's health. I got stomach ulcers once, headaches daily and migraines a few times a year, all over body rashes, high BP and other stuff just to name a few. I no longer have those issues because that which was causing my stress was dealt with. So believe me, I see this as a very important thing happening to you, and do not take it lightly. So I invite you to write me back. Maybe go more into details of what was going on with family, any other people you could possibly live with if pride can be set aside and the truth told to friends and other family. At least tell someone as soon as possible whats going on so that those who care, will give the best advice they know, helping you make the best decisions you can.
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