|
Relationship with my crush
My crush has rejected me but we are still great friends. He says he relationships are too much work and he wouldn't want a girlfriend but he keeps giving me signs that he likes me, like he will annoy me when I am not talking to him or let me hug him once in while(which he doesn't allow anyone to) or just tease me sometimes. I don't know what impression should I take from this, does he like me or not? my age is 15(girl) and he is 15 too
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
I see that you are both 15. At that age, yeah ... its true that a relationship such as a dating one with a boyfriend and a girlfriend is too much work for a boy because first off, there is no experience in relationships. He will need the next 10 years if not 15 to feel ready to have such a relationship. However, that is a long time for a male to be mature enough to know how to treat a female right and want to share his life with her and find he can't imagine a life without her in it. To be honest, plenty of females are not ready at those ages either for the same reasons. The only difference is that she is wanting to give relationships a try. Sure there were guys I may have liked at that age, but back then, It was as if I was taking inventory of what I liked and did not like in a male and did so by simply observing how guys treated their girlfriends, even theirs wives since I studied guys of all ages, mine up to way older men. As you get older, that list of what you like will change and become more precise. For now, the best thing is staying friends, hanging out as friends, no romance. Its very important to experience friendship with guys because that is also a key ingredient to a healthy relationship or marriage as an adult. Unfortunately, grown ups forget the friendship part and go for someone their sexual equal. So those relationships work only the short time they are having sex. The rest of the time, they fight like cats and dogs cus they are not friends. On the other hand, there are people who are best of friends with their partner and they assume that means they are a good choice for a long term partner or spouse, but they lack the chemistry for being sex partners. Maybe it felt exciting in the beginning cus sex was something new but the excitement of something new doesn't last forever and goes away after a short while, maybe even a few months. So they are in a relationship where they treat each other great as friends but neither one makes the other happy in sex. So one or both start having affairs but stay together cus they are best friends.
Those are problems that can come about as an adult if you don't slow down and enjoy what is okay at this age. He may not be able to explain what he is feeling as good as I can but it sure sounds like he wants to be just friends with you, but I would have to say, not a friend like an aquaintence but like a close friend, because he is willing to hug. If he felt you were happy to settle for being just friends, he may feel comfortable being friends and hanging out with you more.
For the future, to find out if a man has the same romantic feelings for you that you have, and you both are already good friends, you can always ask, "I just had a thought. I was wondering since we do so well as friends, if we'd do just as well as more than friends. What do you think?" Asking his opinion is crucial. He won't feel put on the spot and say either that he thinks its a great idea if he does feel the same or will say, no, I don't have those kinds of feelings for you. Enjoy your friendship and keep a list of what you observe and what you find you like in males. Then look for the guy who has those qualities instead of trying to change a guy to become what you want. My ex tried to change me into what he wanted, and I did not appreciate that. We are now long divorced. We were not only not good as lovers but also not best of friends. I didn't know anything and thought the excitement I felt from his attention meant we were meant for each other. I learned the hard way. Some of us have to learn that way, others can learn by the mistakes of others. I hope that will be your story.
]
More Questions: |