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Why co-workers ask so much about my dating experiences?
I happen to be the only single person in my office and for some reason all my married coworkers seem way interested in my dating and sex life. They are all asking about my plans all the time and if I mention I have a date they all want to know details before and after. This is the situation with both the guys and the girls in the office. The guys come by my desk in a pack and interrogate me. The ladies chat me up during lunch when I eat in the break room. The girls are more interested in feelings and romantic stuff and the guys are always interested in sex or anything related to sex. Why are all these people in their 30’s and 40’s so interested and gossiping about what I do and who I do it with? It is not like I am hot male model swinger kind of guy. I am just a normal young single guy who tries to look nice and be polite and is actually nervous asking a girl out. I would say 50 percent of my dates are girls I meet in a singles group at my church. It is not likely much will happen on a first or second date if you know what I mean. I am not offended by all the questions. I just think it is weird. Like maybe they cannot date and meet new people so they are re-living their single life through me somehow? I think the ladies at least have sort of a genuine interest in encouraging me to meet the right person. One time with the guys I made up this BS story about a wild weekend of sex with multiple imaginary girls and even after I told them it was just BS to mess with them they were like all jacked up and talking about it. I do get nervous I will get in trouble with the amount of time I am interrupted to talk about my personal business and not getting everything done like we should but it is funny sometimes the supervisors will hear gossip and repeat it back like, “Oh I heard about your weekend.” So that means coworkers are going around talking to supervisors saying crap like, “So did you hear about Jeremy’s big date?” I sort of feel bad when I don’t have a great story to share. I do not share intimate details because I would not want a girl to tell her coworkers super intimate stuff about me even if they do not know me. Is this just dumb and harmless? Is it weird? Is this typical in the workplace? Should I just play along and share limited information?
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This is a little over the top since its not a handful but all of the office treating you this way. At the same time, it may be natural for them to ask if they have a sexless marriage, lack of romance and hope to get their jollies just by listening to a single person talk of their dating adventures. I can see how it would be distracting to have people always coming by your desk, interrupting your work. For the sake of your job, even if the supervisor is currently okay with it, best to not give him/her a reason to use against in the future if things go sour. The only reason I can see of everyone being involved in questioning or listening to your stories, if first out of habit, just following along with the others, more out of wanting to be part of the gang, even if they have a good sex life. But my guess is that most people are not with the best choice in a partner whether dating or married or in a long long term relationship. They settle for less in the beginning and begin to regret it later. The choice then becomes, stay, split/divorce, cheat, or try to get a little of your needs met by watching romantic movies, reading romance novels for the ladies, and porn movies or porn novels for the men as these are more graphic and hide nothing about sexual encounters and are thus perfect for men mostly. IF you are enjoying this and want it to continue, then know that nothing about you will ever be private, and be okay with it and the possible lash back of not getting all your work done. Mind you that they aren't getting their work done either while hanging out by you for stories.
You had your fun. Now you have a taste of how bad it can get. Before its totally out of control, if you want it to change, like to not happening at all, you will have to make some changes in what you say. Be honest, fess up. You made up stories to entertain them, but you are not a romance or porn writer so you suggest they get a good romance/porn novel to read for the excitement because you are tired of their asking. Actually you wonder why so many committed couples and married couples are looking for 'spice' outside of the relationship, to get the sense of love, romance and sex. Why? Is it to fill an empty spot in their lives. Thats highly likely as most people marry only a best friend or the best romantic/sexual match, not both as is critical for a healthy happy relationship. Since they bug you for the topics they do, my guess is that most of them lack great intimacy, romance and sex in their relationships. If I were in the office, I would have zero interest in your story because I am happy as far as romance and sex are concerned. If I were in your shoes, I would be tempted to check out a used book store and get one romance novel and one porn novel and put in my desk awaiting the next time a guy or gal asks and pull out the appropriate book and say, I am done with all the questioning. I suggest you read romance novels/porn novels to get your fix from now on and here is one to get you started and pass around the office here when done. Of course, those are just examples. But you can say what you want to say, to ask them to stop and find a different source to use to live vicariously through. Wishing you a resolution to your issue soon.
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