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General Questions about Masturbation Issues
This is embarrassing thing to talk about but it is all anonymus so I guess that makes it ok. I am sorry if I say anything not okay but seems like people talk a lot on this site about a lot of things and it is very open and they talk about very personal stuff and about sex also. I have questions about masturbation. I am a guy and I am now a teenager and I have puberty and all that.
1. A girl I know was texting me and wanting to know personal stuff like what do I do and touch myself and how often and it was exciting to be asked but weird and I do not know her well enough to know if she would share what I say and plus I don’t want to be a freakzoid so I told her I don’t think I should talk about that with girls and she said something rude so I am happy I did not share my information no matter how fun it was she was talking about sex stuff. What do y ou think on that one? I am pretty sure that was smart play.
2. Is there like too much like too many times in a row or too many times over total to ejaculate. I can wait sometimes for days if I keep busy with other stuff and like try to do normal things not about sex but when I do start it is like one time is never enough and I like it so much I just want to make it happen again and fun to see how many times I can do it without breaks but I think I am like addicted to fun it feels and like go for hours instead of falling asleep and just make myself hard over and over and like imagine I have to do it to prove myself I can keep going.
3. I made a thing with bubble wrap like for packing stuff and tape that fits like perfect over my erection and I use baby oil and it is better than anything and I just never want to stop it sometimes. But I ran out of the baby oil and used tanning oil. Is using that stuff ok? I don’t want to do something stupid. I mean both are for the skin right?
4. Will doing this a lot help me be better at real sex or will it mess me up because I am doing it too much? Should I take breaks like a week off or does that even matter? If I time myself and to not lose control longer and longer would that be good for having sex wit a girl someday? Like training for sports? Or is that just dumb.
5. I don’t need to know details but do girls do stuff to themselves a lot or just sometimes or is this mainly a guy thing?
6. I know it is like a sin but also normal and there is like probably some balance but I think I am a little obsessed and it is worse on days when a girl talks to me or flirts and I sort of go overboard thinking about it. Will I probably calm down if I get a girlfriend or will it just get worse?
Those are all my questions. If this not posted I will know I asked too much or said things too detailed or sexual. I apologize for doing that if I did and will not be mad about it.
Signed, TANNER
as a joke cause of the sun tan oil :-)
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First of all the person asking this of you on text shouldn't be and can use anything written against you or show it to other people. You need to write a curt one sentence answer "This Is Inappropriate." and stop texting so they get the message loud and clear. Never talk electronically to anyone about this especially if you don't know them well.
If it's a classmate and want to talk about it offline and feel comfortable with one another that's different. The only time self-pleasure can be a bad thing or too much is when it affects your life to be the only thing you think of and the only thing you are doing. If you lead a normal life with normal activities and it's not the complete focus of your days than it's okay and normal.
Both males and females do this and it's pretty universal at your age or any for that matter although stats say men admit it more and or females don't talk about it as much.
While some cultures or religions may be against it this is not a sin and is perfectly normal and something literally everybody does or has done at one time or another. Nothing at all to be ashamed of there.
As far as your fourth question no it won't mess you up for later with partners when ready for sexual activity. In fact it may help you when older communicate well with a partner about what you do and do not like or want.
As far as the third question goes it's not recommended. You don't want to get anything perfume like near your genitals that isn't meant to be used there for infection reasons etc and tanning oil would not be a good idea. There are products in drug stores that are lubricants designed specifically not to cause issues with genitals.
Also, doctors will tell you regardless of a person's age be it adult, teen, senior, child of any age or sex that's it's 100% normal and healthy. There is some medical link or so its been written or studied between frequent ejaculation reducing chances of prostate cancer later on in life
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I am female but have a husband to ask on some of these. The first one, if a girl or a guy or anyone wants to know answers to sexual questions about yourself, they are in the wrong. It is not polite to ask. Heck, I even never asked when older and dating after a divorce. I am remarried and it never occurred to me to ask. I do of course discuss lots of things very candidly and let guys know what my boundaries are. I feel dating is for after you have met someone and you both seem to like each other and want more time with the other, so you date to learn more in depth about the person. Once you are close to someone, and if old enough in your state to consent to sex, then talking to that partner about what you like and don't like is normal, in fact, a crucial part ford any couple who are sexual together. I am with 2nd husband almost 13 years and we always find something to say.The mood of ones body may change and all of a sudden, what was feeling good before can feel like the skin is rubbed raw or i have felt some pinching feelings and I explain that it felt good at first but changed. This helps encourage ones partner that you enjoy what they do but when either says stop or uses a safe word between you, something may have changed, just for the moment, not for ever. But this gal is doing what many teens are doing: Having an LDR and trying to masturbate on line together, or send nude pics by phone, or just getting their own kicks by hearing what other people do for sex. Do we ask people what their showering habits are, how they drive, to give details on what they earn or what their budget is like? No. These would all be personal questions that only should be known by you and the one special person in your life.
2, Masturbation is fun and enjoyable.As with anything in life, too much of something is not healthy or not good for a person. Example: Taking only small risks with your hard earned saving. Too much would be taking ALL of your savings and investing in something new and unproven. Vices like drinking, gambling can be too much. You may not hear it on sex. But at the point that the amount of sex you have, and that can be with multiple women or just yourself can become out of control too. At the point that sex interferes with your daily life, then it is a problem. Masturbation instead of sleeping when you should, y the definition would be sex in excess, not allowing for enough hours of sleep. There are groups and therapy for a person who has too much sex. I don't know what they would be called. You could ask your Dad to help, perhaps set you up with a counselor who works with people who have an amount of sex that affects their life, like some people not shopping for more food, having sex instead until there is no food in the house, having sex instead of studying. My husband agreed that there is such a thing as too much sex and he is still a very sexual man, happy to have sex every night unless one of us is sick or too sleepy, fighting off a bug. The difference is, he can have sex when he doesn't have any other commitments he needs to be present for such as our volunteering at church kitchen for community dinners. If someone is missing, it makes the dinner all the harder on the other volunteers. So having sex instead of going to wherever you have a commitment to be, would be bad because it affects your life and by your being taken up in this habit you are not available to people you interact with daily and that may hurt them. I vote for seeing a counselor.
Number 3. Use of tanning oil. I read a couple articles about applying sunscreen or tanning oil for those who tan nude or for nudists. It sounds like the oil won't hurt the penis. However, if you are sensitive to perfumes in soaps or lotions, there is always a slight chance you could get skin irritation from the fragrance or something else. However, that is a very slight chance.
Number 4. Having more sex does not make you any better at having sex with a partner. In fact, you will find that what worked with a first female you were sexual with, may not work with the next one. Each woman is different so she needs to give her partner feedback even during sex, asking for something instead of what is currently not doing it for her. The same goes for the guy being verbal and forthcoming about his needs.So basically, you have to learn what each new partner wants. You can't go by what the last lover wanted.
Number 5. I can't speak for all females. It also depends on how her hormones are affecting her. But for the most part, the majority of females do not give themselves pleasure on a regular basis. Almost every female has at least once given herself an orgasm. However I have heard of females who are so sexually charged, they want sex all the time. This group is the exception but not the norm.
Number 6. It is a known fact that most young teen males are all crazy about the topic of sex, hearing of others experiences with sex, wanting to have sex with whichever sex they are attracted to, and having sex on a regular basis. So if hearing a girl, or just seeing her, causes you to have an erection, then it sounds like you are a normal male. Males will get hard just talking to a woman they like, even when older. However, the body changes as it gets older. Yet even so, even if not fully hard, a man can hold the erection and enjoy an orgasm. But men do not ever have their penis reacting in some way to a woman, whether getting totally hard, semi hard, flaccid but a tingling sensation is felt, feels good. So it never stops,, it just isn't as frequent when one gets older. Getting a girlfriend doesn't help, cus if it did, someone would have made millions charging for this advice to men. Seriously, teen boys think about girls and sex most of the day, like probably 90%.
If you ask any men to answer how often they think about sex or a special female, he will say 'All the time' or 'couple of times during the day. Of course it is more frequent with young males due to their youth, but even really ancient looking guys never lose the interest, they just lose the ability to do something about it. My husband told me how his mentor once told him something of a sexual nature. He told my husband who was a teen at the time to never stop masturbating ever, even if you don't have a girlfriend, masturbation is vital. It is vital because those who stop even masturbating when a relationship breaks up, will find their body slowly adapts to shut off any sexual feeling and reactions from his penis. So to keep ones ability to enjoy a sex life real, basically 'keep up the masturbation' just don't let it rule your life. If you can't say no to not touching yourself there or masturbation for 3 days, then you might have a problem says my hubby. If there is anything I can help answer, let me know by going to list of advicegivers, finding me at dragonflymagic and from my column is the button to write again anonymous again also, but it goes just to me instead of being posted for any general advice giver to answer if they wish.
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