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Age when graduating and family pressure
Hello,
Background:
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I am studying Computer Science at a well-known university. I suffered from lack of responsibility for a year and as a result I failed few courses twice. I never appreciated what I had, the fact that I got accepted on such a great university, and having the most supporting parents.
I got now another last chance this semester to pass the courses that I failed in, I am quite scared, but I feel different now since I got motivated since the start of the semester.
My question:
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Week number #2 has finished now, around 12 weeks to go for the semester before exams, I hope everything is alright, but my main question here, since I wasted around 2 years, I always have this feeling that killing me of counting years till I finish and what age I will be, and I have this pressure from my family to finish and questions always popping up, when and how much left for you.
I do regret that I wasted this two years.. I do not want this to ruin and let me waste more and more years ahead cause of it
Please help me find a way to overcome this feeling.
Thanks!
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People change for the better and when they do, both that person and everyone who knows them should not be judging that person by their past, only who they are and where they are at now. Sure, this means you're in school longer, and finish at an older age. Although my son in law just started at a college in HI and he is 28. There are people who get late starts so you won't be the only your age.
Even if you don't get support but condemnation because of the years you wasted, you have to be okay with yourself. We all have regrets when looking back at things we wish we'd done otherwise, I sure have those and I am grandma age. The thing is to not waste your time looking back and regretting so much that you are not really living in the here and now. Regrets and looking back can be your worst enemy.
Asd for wanting you to finish soon, if the parents are footing the bill, I can understand their concern. So keep that in mind if thats the casse, do extra work for them for free, maybe once working, save up enough money to send them on a trip to Hawaii, something special as a thank you for all their support.
So as for the questions as to how much time you have left, smile and answer them normally as if you had not wasted time which they already know or suspect as its taking longer. Just admit the truth that you screwed around, couldn't get motivated, whatever you feel and therefore are so much (state months or years) behind from finishing. I am sure you don't want to have to answer as it embarrasses you. I will share something that should help you and if anyone harrasses you or says you were dumb to waste the time, you can point out the following information:
It has been scientifically proven that the frontal lobe of the brain, responsible for making good choices, good judgement calls, able to see possible outcomes or setback down the road to any one thing you may choose to do, etc) and this part of the brain isn't fully mature until around age 25. So pre teens, HS and early college age people are already handicapped by a brain that isn't capable of making the best decisions. Since the body looks mature, others expect the brain to be mature also and that just isn't so. everyone has to deal with this so your folks and every adult you know went through a poor decision makingg Some are quick to point the finger at others forgetting they had or have their faults too. So don't go on fearing the next comment. Instead be proud of yourself that you learned something from your experience.
You say you hope you are doing okay but not sure. Well, don't wait until 12 weeks from now to find out. Be pro active about your schooling. You could at any point go ask your teacher how you are doing so far and ask if she/he sees something that you can work a bit more on, maybe not a requirement on her/his tests but studying you can do on your own, or maybe extra stuff to strengthen where you are weak.
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