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I'm being blackmailed and don't know what to do
I started college in August. During my first week on campus, I met "Amy." We quickly became good friends. From the beginning, I knew that she was gay, but it didn't bother me. I'm pretty open-minded, despite my upbringing (more on that in a minute). I knew she was attracted to me too, which I guess I found flattering. For a couple weeks afterward, anytime we were alone and especially when we were in her dorm room, she would start working on me, trying to get me to experiment with her. Finally one night, when I'd had a bit to drink and we were again alone in her room, I gave in and had sex with her.
I didn't particularly enjoy it, but it was just an experiment, so whatever, right? But after that night, she began pressuring me to sleep with her again. So I told her it was just a one-time thing and that I was sorry if she'd been assuming it was something more. She got really mad and that's when she got out her laptop and pulled up the video of us having sex. Turns out she'd had a camera set up and hidden in her room to film us. She's threatened to leak the video to my parents if I don't do exactly what she tells me.
Now, my parents are super-religious and insanely conservative. Tolerance is not exactly their strong suit. At minimum, they’d refuse to pay my tuition and I’d have to leave college if they found out I’ve experimented with homosexuality. The worst case scenario is they’d both disown me. And the worst case scenario is a real possibility.
Since then, I've had to meet up with her for sex anytime she asks. Thinking about those encounters as I type this makes my skin crawl. I always feel so dirty and used afterward. To her, I’m a human sex toy. I can tell that she gets off on the fact that I’m forced to do this and don’t want to.
I have to get out of this situation, but I don’t know how. If I don’t comply, she’ll release the video. I’ve thought about reporting her, but it’s only my word that this video even exists. I doubt the police could get a warrant just on my say-so. And even if they did do something, I’m sure she has a back-up copy of that video somewhere. If the cops don’t manage to seize it along with her laptop, it’ll get leaked eventually.
I feel stuck in a situation of mutually assured destruction. I can’t have my parents finding out about us having sex. So now I don't know what to fucking do. I hope someone has some ideas because I can't go on like this forever.
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Blackmailing for any reason is a punishable crime. It can vary from state to state from what I read and so it is best to talk to a lawyer. You should report this to the police.
Today, if you are on the phone and the other person wants to tape record the conversation, they have to let you know they intend to do that, otherwise, doing so is wrong, and can be a punishable crime, so I would think that along those lines, any recording, video or verbal of you without your permission is a crime, threatening to expose you to parents is a crime and blackmailing you to do whatever she wishes is a crime. I don't think you can lose anything here. Yes, it will be embarassing to have to let officials know exactly what she is black mailing you for. She is hoping that you won't report her because it is a very embarassing private thing. However we don't know if she has done this sort of thing before, how many other girls have felt they had to give in. She needs to be found guilty and put in jail so this can't happen again to any one else. Think about it, recording a person and black mailing them is not just a one time thing a person dreams up of trying. She's most likely done this kind of thing before and never been caught because everyone one wants to keep it quiet. You are in adult and your parents don't need to know you are getting the law involved. I am so sorry to hear it has happened to you but I feel she may have a long history of this and someone needs to get the law involved so this can end once and for all. By the way, being a college student, you won't have money for a lawyer so find a lawyer who will take you pro bono which means they won't charge you
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