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Friend's boyfriend didn't stop, but neither of them communicated clearly...
A friend I don't get to see very often has been going through a really rough time. Her best friend just died a couple of months ago. She told me that, before her friend passed, she and her boyfriend were having sex pretty regularly, a couple times a week. They've been dating for a few years, and went through a rough patch in the spring, but otherwise must have been doing okay, until this. She told me that he wanted to have sex one night, and they must have already started, and he was asking her whether she wanted to continue or not. She said that she shrugged at him a couple of times, that she cried, and he just kept going til he finished.
She didn't tell me whether he knew she was crying, and she never gave him a clear answer. Afterwards, his excuse was that she "never said no," but she says "I never said yes." She told me it just made her feel bad so she stopped trying to talk about it with him, and she's felt numbed out ever since, losing sleep thinking she overreacted about it.
I think this was really wrong on his part and there needs to be a very serious discussion, or she needs to leave. My other friend thinks they're both at fault because they didn't communicate clearly. It makes me angry that this happened at all, but my other friend thinking the friend in question is at fault makes me even angrier. She it followed up by telling me there's nothing I can do about it.
Is this clearly rape, or is the "poor communication" excuse valid? What advice can I give my effected friend?
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