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My older boyfriend is treated like a teen
My recent boyfriend has been the best person I’ve ever dated , I have never felt so connected to someone . But we are 5 years apart. I’m turning 18 in two months but we’ve been dating for 5 months now. We’ve had our ups and downs but we really love each other. My parents are the only problem. Sadly it unfair for my boyfriend to be treated like a teen even though I am technically still one . I love him but I feel so bad that he has to be treated like a teen and have to sleep in a different bed than me when he comes over or that I can’t just have a dinner at his house cause my parents are strict in that way as my mom fell pregnant with my sister young she doesn’t want me to make the same mistake. I really love him but I see it takes a toll on him ...what should I do?
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In two months when you turn 18,, then you can do as you wish and the parents can't tell you what to do any longer as you are an adult.
The only thing they hold over you is that they allow you to live with them, that is once you are legally an adult.
So if they were really mean, they could hold that over you and say if you don't do as they wish, that you can no longer live with them, and threaten to kick you out. Any parent will know that is a good way to coerce an adult child to do as they wish because the economy is such that many adult children can't afford an apt of their own, even with two incomes if married. So they might actually threaten you this way to get you to comply. None of this has anything to do with your bf being treated as a teen. He needs to work on his own self image and self confidence if he thinks that they are targeting him and seeing him as a minor and not a legal adult at 23.
You are writing this on his behalf and yet the issue is all about a fear of you getting pregnant. That is why he has to sleep on a separate bed. So go to a Dr. get on the pill and let them know you are on the now for the ease of their minds, even though you are not having sex . In their house, no matter how old you are, 18 28, 38 48, etc...if they want to be nasty about this, they can legally state their house rules which one may be sleeping in separate beds unless you are married, or worse, even if married, they don't want to hear a daughter having sex so they state no shared beds when you are there. So wait until you are 18, two months and then come up with a plan. They won't stop treating you like some museum art piece that needs to be kept under high security and away from any human being with a penis. I still believe that finding a way to get out from under their roof is going to solve your problems. THis means looking ahead to the future and exactly what options you have. Both of you finding the best paying jobs and getting a place together is one. If his parents allow it once you turn 18, (they can't be in trouble with police because you are no longer a minor. I know its 2 months but it still makes a difference as far as the law goes.) or once 18, start looking for other girlfriends who want to get out on their own and band up with two or three others where all of you work and can pay partial rent and get into an apt together. NOw you are free of what your parents dictate and can really do as you wish.
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Actually it sounds like they are treating you like the teen, not him. :)
They don't want you to have dinner at his house because he is an adult, and technically, you are not.
I know you have probably heard it said before, as long as you live at home, your parents rules need to be followed. If your boyfriend feels he is being treated unfairly, then he should just go home & not stay overnight.
Once you are 18, you can always move out with your boyfriend. But as long as you are under their roof, you will have to abide by their rules.
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