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Abusive relationship /parenting
I’ve been with my boyfriend going on three years now, and we have a one-year-old son together, and a have a daughter four-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, and he’s been in her life since she was one and he loves her as much as her father. Previous to our relationship before I met my current boyfriend I was going threw a stage trying to find myself so I messed around with one of his friends that constantly came to my job trying to talk to me at that time I was freshly single from a 8 years long relationship so I went for it and it was the worst thing I ever did he never told me of his girlfriend so when I found out I was so mad I slept with one of his friends one time and that’s was the biggest regret of my life because now I’m bestfriend with his current girlfriend now and I’m with another friend and I don’t feel guilty because I’m happy but when we’re all together I feel very weird even though it was 3 years ago none of us ever discuss it since than and I’m in love with my current boyfriend now but I relationship is not as good as I want it to be some days it’s really great and others days we barely speak he comes home late after being with his friends all night some times til 6 or 8 I’m the morning we never go on any dates we both currently live at his home with his mom he doesn’t work but I’m currently a full time student so I don’t either but I do other work on the side like doing makeup and hosting making classes and since he doesn’t have a job he always asking me for money for everything I bought him a $4000 truck and I don’t even have a car myself but I knew if I didn’t he would hit me or throw me out and my kids and I wouldn’t have anywhere to stay since we have gotten together I never cheated not in any type of way I’ve been 100% faithful to him but he has I did eventually leave for a about 6-7 months and got my own apartment because I thought maybe we would’ve be better apart but that didn’t work I heard he had mutiple girls around him down his mother house riding on the four wheeler I just got repaired for him and that cost $2000 he didn’t have a truck at the time he got others that he would talk to to drop him off at my house while I was pregnant with his son he threaten to kill me he punch holes in my walls he smashed my tv he hit me in face while I was holding my son he kicked me while I was pregnant with my son he cut my clothes off me when I tried to leave him I bought a car last year and it was my very first car it wasn’t perfect but it was mines and low mileage I cant drive so I bought something to practice in until I bought what really wanted and messed it up he took from me made me sign over the title in his name give him both keys after I told him no he slammed me down chocked me til I almost stop breathing I was just thinking I was going to die he punched me in my head dragged me down the hallway while my kids were looking at me my daughter was screaming stop and crying I had hip surgery in 2010/2016 and I had a pin in my hip and he knocked it loose and my leg was completely paralyzed again I lost my job at that time when I was working and I was also currently pregnant with another child but I gave her up for adoption because I didn’t want her to go threw any pain I wanted her to be love both times I gave birth he wasn’t there I never saw my daughter face as soon as she came out her adoptive mother Katie was there I spent 4 days in the hospital by myself he didn’t even pick up the phone to check on me just asked me for some money he says he love me but I don’t know anymore I’m afraid to be on my own and I know if I try and leave with his son he will kill me I take my courses online so I rarely leave the house unless it’s for makeup but he’s always gone and when I leave he always thinks I’m cheating and I never have and we fight about that I can have any passwords on my phone so he can have access but I can’t touch his phone he says he’s not cheating but I don’t believe him because of his past I’m honestly stuck and I don’t know what to do I just need help
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Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
Normally I would share how I had a verbally abusive ex and what it took for me to leave forever. However, you are not yet in the frame of mind to be able to leave and stay away. Abuse can mess badly with your mind. The stress of abuse has to go somewhere and it either affects your mental and emotional health or it hits you physically as in getting plagued by many stress caused illnesses. Thats what happened to me. You said you left for6-7 months but it didn't work. I can tell you that it won't work until you get some counseling and see how this is not only bad for you but for the children. Children learn from observing. So you are currently raising a future possible abuser or at least the child will be scarred by the emotional crap so badly that the child struggles to have a normal adult life themselves. I have 3 kids. And with just verbal abuse, I can see now how they are affected in their adult lives, one is afraid of marriage and another married a questionable person who was simply looking for someone to take care of them and the last married a person with mental problems who is physically abusive. I wish I had left him earlier. If I can help anyone, I know it has to be someone really ready. Right now you need a way to get free of him so I suggest you call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. Let them know whats going on. They can put you in touch with resources in your area so all your needs are taken care of and steps taken to help you get free of him, if you are ready to leave. They also work to help you get to the point you understand all the reasons why how he treats you is wrong. Heres the number: 1-800-799-7233
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