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What should I do?
So, I applied for this hard core fancy school I guess and I really just joined to make my mom proud and i felt obligated in a way. In my heart, I do not think I am eligible for the school’s system and will not pass the test they require. On the same day of the test, I have a volleyball tournament and I missed on the week before and feel I will lose playtime or even my position. It may sound self fish or that I put sports over education but I am just very confused. I don’t know what I should do and could really used advice.
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Some parenting are controlling and others, while not controlling, in their want of the best for you, will act extremely pushy to steer you in a direction they feel is best and be tempted to make decisions or lets call it very strong suggestions since they fear you may be too young yet to make good ones on your own. To some extent, this is scientifically true with scientists proving that the pre frontal lobe of the brain responsible for good decision making isn't fully mature until your reach your mid twenties or a bit later. So decision making can be compromised.
I am guessing your parents are supportive and love you lots and only want the best for you. Your decision to do this to make Mom proud is a good thing, wanting to make her proud. You simply chose something that you don't like. The best is making your parents proud by accomplishing more with your life than they ever did, using your talents, doing a job you love so you live your life being passionate about your work. You CAN make the parents proud of you by choosing a path you really want to be one, not one you take reluctantly. The reluctant path will cause you to not really put your heart into whatever it is so you don't do as well or succeed at all and that will cause them to not feel pride in what you are doing. I have pride in my children for simple things, and simply because they do these things really well. Without prompting from me, I watch one daughter raising her child doing the same things that I did, natural nurturing nature, and she is doing it so well, that I am proud of her. Another is dedicated to her job in a metaphysical book store gift shop, has control of the ordering of new things to try for the childrens section of the store, and is now a Yoga instructor and does really well there and in her musical abilities. Neither has made a fortune or gone to college. But I am very proud of them.
On another note, as far as qualifying for the school, even if your grades and such make you qualify, if this is the kind of school that wants to hear from you in person or in a letter as to why you want to attend there, they have to be convinced this is something you really want, to attend their college. So you may fail on that one note, if in your heart, you do not really wish to even attend the school at all.
As for volleyball, don't guess as to what will happen if you miss time again. The best thing is to call your coach and let them know you are very interested in still playing but that you have a test for the entrance into the college you applied at, that is if you still want to go If you have changed your mind, then call the college and cancel with them. Your coach will be understanding and let you know if not attending for this reason will drop playtime in the next game but it shouldn't threaten your position if you are good at it and have a passion for the game. Good players are important to your coach, players who have the time. If going to college is going to affect your ability to play on this team, I wonder if you have checked out college where you can play volleyball at. Plenty of students get into college because they play a sport in the name of that college. The worst then would be having to quit the team you are on and starting on the one in the college that you choose.
Rather than just attending a school to say you've done it, is there any degree you want to go after? If you don't even have any particular desire, then going just to please the parents will put tons of stress on you. You could suffer from stress related sicknesses and illness after some time too, with tension headaches being the most common, ulcers too or rashes, migraines and such as lesser common and I suffered all in a stressful time of my life. Do not worry about disappointing your Mom. Mom is perhaps going to have trouble adjusting from being a parent of a minor to a parent of an adult child. Most parents have trouble with it and don't always say and do the right things. She needs to take herself and her wishes out of the loop and think about what it right for you, or the best life experiences for now to help you make some of your future decisions. A parent like this will know all your talents and be suggesting possible vocations in which your natural talents will shine and you can still earn a decent living. They will build you up, not want to tear down all your ideas. Most of all, they stop teaching you and become your sounding board for advice. You won't likely listen to only what I say because right now at your age, this is time where you need to gather information from several sources and the parents are usually the best. IF they know you are going to follow only that what your heart is into, they will want your happiness. Even if it doesn't measure up to what they wished for in their minds, they will want to help give advice so you can make the better decision based off all the advice you collect. Your life is just starting, their adult life is almost half way over. So don't let what they never accomplished be something you feel pressured into doing for them so they can live their dreams through your life. They need to live their dreams through their own life and you follow and live your dreams to the best of your ability.
You might have a talk with Mom. Let her know how you feel and that you are in the process of collecting insights from other people as well and will make a decision after you feel you have enough information to decide what you want to do for a vocation let alone with school to attend.
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