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When should we begin to sleep together


Question Posted Wednesday January 2 2019, 1:09 pm

when should my girlfriend & I start sleeping together?

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


Atti_Tammz answered Monday February 18 2019, 5:18 pm:
there is alot you have not mentioned in your question like how long have you guys been together, you guys ages and what made you wait to have sex....but i hope my answer will help you in sone way.

there are alot to consider if you'll are below the ages of 18 then wait until you are of even further than that.
If you are over the age of 18 id say that you should know when you are ready, Make sure that your girlfriend is fully comfy first.
Make sure you take all the precautions there is to take if you dont want any STD'S or STI'S and dont want a baby being born before you engage in any sexual activities.

[ Atti_Tammz's advice column | Ask Atti_Tammz A Question
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Dragonflymagic answered Sunday January 13 2019, 7:38 pm:
there is a lot you do not mention such as your ages, and whether one of you is 18 or over, how long you've been dating, if this is hetero or same sex couple, and so on.
Just because a couple is dating does not mean that you automatically need to have sex at some point or believing that if you started dating, that sex is the next step. I am older and learned what I know the hard way and will share what I am trying to say here.
There is dating for social reasons only, to have someone, a partner to go out to the movies with, and maybe for sex too. Then there is dating used as a tool, as a way to get to know a person well enough to see if they are just what you are looking for in a partner or not. If you see anything you don't like, instead of trying to change a person which isn't possible as you can only change yourself, you simply stop dating them and when you do date again, you aim for someone better, instead of settling for the same or for something less. If the person is perfect for you and you for them, then you move your dating into the committed couple type of dating. This is the couple who either is committed to be together with or without a marriage certificate for life.

Somehow I doubt you fit in the last description. Most likely, this is the first girlfriend you've had and so are new at this and wondering when is okay to move to the next stage, becoming sex partners.

Well, there is a possibility she may be looking just for a social boyfriend, not one she also has sex with. You may be a playboy in the making who wants to date as many females as possible and only those willing to have sex. While there is nothing wrong with either aspiration, the problem is when both are not talking to each other and asking what the other wants and revealing what you want from a relationship. If both of your wishes match, then it is an easy thing to move forward. Even older adults who have never learned have their own agenda but don't come out and mention it before the first date and so one or both are hurt later on when things blow up. Sure there may not be as many females who are okay with dating mostly for sex. But they are out there and it's usually because of a certain period in her life where it is appropriate now. A girl who has been sexual as a teen and is now single again, will not want to wait long to have sex if she is really interested in you. A young woman now divorced who no longer wants a second husband but only lovers, will easily also be willing to have sex. The rest have to feel something for a guy and have to feel sure that he not only loves her but wants to show her by his actions just how much he loves her. This means having sex is about pleasing her first, giving her, her first orgasm or first orgasm with you, making sure she is totally satisfied before you allow yourself to have yours. This means a guy having studies enough to understand the female genitalia to be able to do the right things and be able to explain to them what they will feel if the need arises, such as what she feels when you work on her G spot. I know this is too much if just the first time but you didn't say. However if you both have had sex before and had bad experiences, or woman not ready until a certain point, the only way to know for sure is to ask them. If you are too embarrassed to have a sexual conversation with the girl you are dating or her with you, then you are not ready to be sexual together. Some females may be ready after a couple of dates and others not ready until they are totally sure you are the one they love and feel safe and loved with you. It could take others a couple of months or in some rare cases, even longer. So wait a week, a month? Nope, just ask her. You need to understand that sex for men can be one of three things: he only feel lust for her and wants sex, he only feels love for her, or he feels lust and love together in one special package but this is rare to have the relationship where he is in love but also feels that lust rise in him when he is with her, thinking of her because both are so in love and also have no inhibitions.

Women on the other hand, believe sex is a way to secure a mans' heart and his love. That is why so many end up hurt by males who lied or led them on to get sex. This can happen at any age. Its just that the older men don't pounce as quick. I really can't give you a date. I am not the typical female. When I met my second husband, I had already been married to someone not my sexual equal, no love, no passion or desire, just the mechanical function. I knew I wanted better. First time, due to religious beliefs, I wanted to remain pure and had no sex until my wedding night. I kinda thought it should't felt lots better. We had no chemistry in that dept. So second time around, I told my girls to test drive a guy sexually, that is to not commit to a long term relationship or marriage until they knew for sure they were compatible in that department. So I didn't want to go out places on dates. I wanted to sit in person and talk for hours to get to really know the guy. This is what I did with my 2nd husband. After a week of talking nightly for hours, we met the following Sunday at his place. He had a teen daughter who was in her room. When it came time to stay the night as it was getting late, or go home, I decided I was sure enough I liked what I knew of him after a week on the phone and besides a twenty minute meetup during his lunch time, and just that Sunday, so I knew I had to make the first move. He had no even kissed me, being the gentleman and leaving it to me to make the move if I was interested. Mind you, we were both close to 50, not young people with less experience. A young girl doesn't tend to take the lead. I moved to kiss him first earlier in the evening and I could tell he liked it. So later, when I made the first moves for sex, he eagerly accepted. It wasn't until after that he told me that he had a personal policy that if there wasn't enough chemistry for a female to want sex with him within the first 24 hours of meeting him, then there was likely not enough sexual chemistry. This is an example of something that worked for us but we both also had a lot of life experience. With younger folks starting out, it is usually a different story. All you can do is look for clues. I suggest studying examples of body language as far as knowing when someone is attracted to you. You can find plenty good ones on youtube. When you see what a person does if attracted to and comfortable with you,, then you need to find out next if there are any moral beliefs on the subject that may make her want to wait, otherwise, start with kissing and touches to see how she responds. Its a process, but its not sex for the sake of sex unless you have a really horny girl in which case you wont have to guess, she will just start the process early on from meeting you. But anyone else, will be too shy too initiate or even talk about sex. There are no two sex partners alike so if you've done it before, you have to learn what she likes and doesnt like. This means you both have to talk during sex and say, ow that hurts, or I am getting sore, I need more lube, or I am not feeling anything, lets try something else. Women are complicated and what works one night to get an orgasm will not be guaranteed to work the next time. So if you and her are willing to talk, communicate during and plan for contraceptives before hand, then you are likely ready. This is the best I can share without knowing a few more details from you

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