|
Need some advice please: I just want to be happy, but california does not make me happy
Long story short, I have moved out of California a couple times and than ultimately moved back for either health reasons or even financial reasons. I have depression and it started after the first time I moved away. The 2nd time I moved it got better and I was doing fine, but I ultimately moved back to California because I was offered a job that paid double what I was making so I moved back. I have been house hunting, and every house I put an offer in on gets another offer that is taken. It is really draining me, I have been thinking about moving back out of california once I transfer my job. I have been questioning things because I know some in my family will throw in my face the times I have moved and the times I have come back. I just want to be happy, but california does not make me happy and it drains me more mentally than anything. I have done my research on where to work and where to move to, I just need some advice on what route I should take.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories?
Time for list making!
Have one list with columns with some of the places you are most interested in living there. California should also be on the list.
Below each state, start writing the pro's of living there and at the end of the column list the con's.
You didn't say where you are house hunting but you need to decide if owning a home is what you really want. You moved for a job. You need to decide if you are more interested in money or more interested in a job because money does not buy happiness.
So next make a list of all the things you believe is killing your happiness. For example, California is mostly a more dry state. If dry hot weather doesn't make you happy, maybe you need the opposite, like a colder climate, more greenery in the scene. You may not know yet what will make you happy and you might never know if you don't get a chance to experience it.
I know of young couples who sold their home because it was something that drained money and they really didn't have a life. They didn't want to wait until they were 65, 70 to retire and then travel. They bought vans to remodel to live in or small motor homes and began to travel the country. This way they got to experience any of the states, especially those they thought they were interested in. You might also want to check on the cost of living in other states versus the pay scale and availability of jobs. Some of the happiest people around are those with no rent or mortgage payments, a home on wheels, and traveling for now until they decide what they want based on what makes them happy. What if a house and your good paying job is actually robbing you of happiness. Could you be happy living minimally but having the freedom to do what you want? Some young people do this based on using little amounts of savings and also doing temporary works stints where ever they happen to be at the time, pickers in orchards, extra help at Christmas, etc. They save up what they earn, then travel some more and when money runs low, work a while again somewhere. You may find in doing this, interest in a totally different kind of work, state or area to live in and you may enjoy the different living style. Right now, I have the feeling you go for the sure things, what seems more secure. Perhaps you are meant to be more adventurous, try different things and take risks. I don't know but I hope this helps you sort it out.
]
More Questions: |