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just a confused ready teen
Hi so i am a 17 year old female and i am dating a male the same age. We have been dating for about 7 months now and we were both kind of scared to make the first move so the first time we kissed was prom night before we went out to eat. So it was graduation day and at our school juniors show up to support the seniors (the place they hold the ceremony is right by the school so everyone shows up to school and seniors ride over first and then juniors and then we come back blah blah blah)and there is a little ritual going on, anyways that day came and me and my boyfriend were both there and were in the same class and i was just sitting on the table and he was sitting in the chair across from me and at first that was all it was i was just sitting across from him then he kind of leaned in and grabbed my ass and pulled me in towards him so we were sitting closer and had kind of burrowed his head in my chest - i had on a low v-neck romper and a big fluffy jacket because i was cold - so he had his head on my chest and put his hand behind the jacket like out of peoples view and was rubbing my back and my ass , mind you we had just had our first kiss like a week ago, so anyways the teachers had left to take care of stuff and half of the class migrated out so it was just us and then some of my friends and some of his friends. So we were cuddling as we were before and i leaned in and kissed him and we kissed like a couple of times and i was happy because after 7 months i was ready and wanted to get things moving along like i am still a teenager. So we were cuddling and at some points kissing, but after i kissed him one of those times he started kissing my chest area, the area in between my breasts. now remember i had on a big fluffy jacket so he was somewhat hidden and i was getting turned on but we were still at school so i kinda backed up and we went back to playing a card game but i could clearly see he was turned on and so was i so we went to the classroom next door which was open and no one was in there and we started kissing and what not (which we adapted to pretty quickly surprisingly) so we were kissing and he was grabbing my butt and i had my hand on his head and of course the sexual tension was building but we were still at school so we both kind of broke off and it was time to leave for the graduation. by the time everything was over it was like 9:15 and we had gotten invited to a graduation party which i decided not to go to because there was going to be heavy drinking and i don't drink so me and my boyfriend decided to go to his house and watch a movie. so we got there and started off watching a movie but half way through it turned to me on top of him, he was kind of dry humping me, we were kissing and things were getting very heated, but then his older sister came home so we stopped and went upstairs and things started again but no clothes came off he was thrusting but it was never any penetration and he came just in his pants.. i don't really know what i am asking or how to ask it i don't know like what next, i want to wait to have penetrating sex until marriage but our relationship is getting pretty serious i have known him since 8th grade and we have had little crushes on eachother but this time it turned ready, i am open to oral sex. i dont know what i am really asking i guess what are some things we can do to relieve sexual tension between us, why do you think it was such a quick switch between us first kissing to like all of this, anything like that. he is supposed to come with my friends boyfriend over to my friends house who i am staying with this week and they're also in a similar place but they've been dating for like a year and aren't having sex but have done stuff, so there will be a lot of sexual tension, do you think it would be a good idea to even have them over if they do come over should we all stay together...ughhh i am so sorry this is messy and i don't completely know what i'm asking i am just confused and ready.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Only you can know if what the two of you have had in the 7 months so far is a true friendship. Not every relationship starts with romance and sex right at the start. I am talking about all ages here, even older people. Some people start as friends and if they spend enough time together to become real friends, then the two learn to admire the other for aspects of their personality so it is getting to know and love the you inside of you. I hope you understand where I am going. This means the attraction to looks isn't necessarily the defining thing that makes one want to become sexual with the other. At your age, I can't say if its more about experiencing sex for the first time which is sometimes the only reason teens have sex, it isn't good for the gal, the guy gets his release but he has no idea what to do what the female other than the penis in the vagina part and kissing. You will both be 18 soon and adults so this isn't a bad time to start. When you say you are ready, you have to be ready for all possibilities.
So as I said some relationships start slower with the feelings growing slowly more like an ember growing into a blaze over time. So maybe thats the case for you.
I will also state that for your future, keep in mind that the most successful and rewarding committed relationships all have the same foundation upon which the couple builds their relationship. Foundations are important as you know with all buildings having one to help it remain stable. If you want the relationship to be stable too, then its best to start off with friendship and go from that to the sexual part of the relationship. Being each others close or best friend is one part of that foundation and the other is having sexual chemistry and being each others sexual equal. That means both have the same libido, which is wanting sex as often as the other whether its all the time or occasionally. If one feels differently, there will be tension in the relationship for at least one. Both also will experiment and find they like the same things.
Do not worry in the beginning about not knowing anything. Like the kissing, it is instinct and comes naturally. For anything else though, it is best if both can give each other information along the way as to what feels good and what doesn't. Don't think once you know one lover that it will be the same for the next. You have to start all over again with learning how that new partner likes. I can honestly tell you from all my experiences that there are no guys exactly the same. So if both of you can communicate each step of the way, even if that doesnt seem romantic, eventually you will learn each other.
If something hurts or is uncomfortable, say something, a quick ouch should be enough to make your partner stop, same for him. Although with a guy, there probably might only be ouches with oral sex, teeth accidently scraping him unless he likes that, sucking too hard on one area so it feels sore much like an abrasion or bruise, and another ouch is not enough lubrication. So if one or the other isn't lubricated enough with their own fluids, it is wise to have purchased a personal lubricant available at any pharmacy, but in a pinch, his or your saliva can be applied to the penis so it is not dragging against skin. NOrmally this would be an issue for older people, especially women, but anything can affect you, a recent illness, even stress and worry about sex the first time.
I understand you do not want penetration sex until you are married. I was with the church and know that in such circles, you find religious people who wait for marriage. This is a good practice when you are younger. However, if you get to the point of being engaged and not married yet, you might think about reconsidering. I married a man who was not my sexual equal. It means we didn't naturally incite passion in the other simply by being ourselves, and we had differing libidos where I wanted more and he wanted it a lot less. In todays world, there is also an epidemic of males with lower libidos, lower sexuall hormones so they don't really desire or get aroused by females. I ended up married to a guy who was terribly wrong for me in that area simply because I never had sex for a while with him. I explained this to my daughters so that once they were out of HS, if they found a guy who they felt they might marry, then I told them to do the same as people do when purchasing a car, take him for a test drive...LOL in bed. Actually I am serious. Two people can be doing all the right things and yet, if that chemistry between them or pheromones are not being close to the same, then its like being married to a friend only without any sexual want or desire. It's easier to get out of an engagement at the last minute if you kissed and held hands and thought it was all fine but then once married, you discover he's wrong for you. I know this isn't much about having sex the first time dear, but assuming all will be fine doesn't always turn out fine. And statics are that most married couples only have one or the other of that foundation I talked about for the relationship. I am sorry if it sounds like I am trying to change your mind. I am only trying to give you as much information as I can now so you can make any current or future decisions for yourself with as much knowledge as possible so you can live with your choice
s and be okay with them.
So there are marriages where the two are best friends but there is no chemistry for sex so one or both go having extra marital affairs, or the two are the hottest lovers together but other than sex, treat each other like crap because they are not truly treating each other like a best friend. So there is lots of yelling and fighting. I have known people like this, practically all the married couples I know have this, usually its being best friends and content with that and having no sex life.
You can write me back with specific questions that come to mind regarding doing it the first time. I can think of one more thing that you need to know. Even if not planning to penetrate. For oral sex some precaution is needed. Even if he doesn't penetrate, you can still get pregnant if any of his cum gets on his or your fingers and is transfered to your labia or vagina. AS male when a roused has a physiological action of some semen appearing in drops on the tip of the penis. He can't control if it happens or not. And although not as many sperm are in that as in ejaculate, if you are ovulating at the time or your period is coming up soon, you can get pregnant. Sperm will stay alive a while for days to week inside you and still be around if ovulating later. SO this is one thing to be alert to. Sperm doesnt live outside the protection of his or your body for long so any ejaculate on clothing are any wiped off the hands is good enough but this is something to be ware of. If he is not only giving oral sex but taking time to learn what to do with his fingers to get you off, then he must have very clean hands and nails and no rough skin on the fingers or rough edges to the nails as that can nick you. I still occasionally find my hubby has a rough skin patch at edge of nail that doesn't feel rough to him but once it comes in contact with tender flesh, feels like you just got nicked by a nail. I will immediately say so and he gets a nail clipper and cuts away the dry rough bit. Okay, my minds gone blank now so just write me with any more questions because they truly all are valid.
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