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humorist-workshop

Boyfriend ostracized


Question Posted Thursday December 7 2017, 5:39 pm

I'm a Junior in High school. I have a bf who most people don't like and spread rumors about. Nobody talks to him and think he's weird for being an introverted person that wears all black, even going as far to spread a rumor he was going to shoot up the school (the police got involved with that one!) and that he's a serial killer. It hurts me to see him isolated, not only as his girlfriend but as someone who knows he's a good person.


For example, this Freshman girl was falling into a state of suicide-level depression because of some issues in her home life, and she was worried that everybody secretly hated her and believed no one would care if she were dead. My boyfriend got the kids in her grade along with people who participate in the same extra curriculars as her to all write down reasons why they like her, good memories they have of her, ways she's helped them, etc, and put it in a binder. He got everyone in the drama club, band, and her ENTIRE grade to write real, genuine things down. People thought this was really creepy and he had to deal with a lot of harrasment from kids who didn't realize he was trying to help this girl. He put all the papers in a binder, then gave it to her. I saw the whole thing, where he explained to her what he did, and how people do care about her, she isn't alone, and that her life will get better. The girl's face lit up when she read what people wrote. She's a lot happier nowadays. He didn't even know this girl, but he just didn't want anyone to feel alone, so he went completely out of his way to help her.

I wish people would see that side of him, the side I see, and not just think he's some creepy serial killer but I'm not sure how. What should I do?


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ammo answered Thursday December 14 2017, 10:03 am:
What your boyfriend did is very touching and certainly something he should have been recognised for doing, it was a very kind gesture. However I will have to agree with adviceman on her not being completely out of the woods. This is something that someone in authority should be made aware of so she can get some help. Feelings like those she had are not something that can be resolved so easily or quickly and tend to linger and resurface especially at emotional times.

As for your boyfriend though and what people think of him... I think the most important thing is that he knows what YOU think of him. People will always be judgemental of others and be stuck in that line of thought. He could become a priest tomorrow and people will make a million assumptions of that too and twist it around in some way or another. People like that just have nothing better to do and are not people you need to convince of anything because chances are they won't want to listen or care. Not all people are like this however but a majority that have made their minds up will just not care because he is different and that's all they will see.

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adviceman49 answered Friday December 8 2017, 10:48 am:
Your boyfriend should be commended for what he did for that girl. In fact he should be recognized by the Principal and others in the school Administration for what he did for her. In so doing you will not only allow others to see him as he truly is but the school system will look in to her home life as well.

IF you should ever come across a situation like hers again, even though your boyfriend took it upon himself to help her. A trusted teacher or the school principal should have been notified of her depression and suicidal thoughts. The school is responsible upon learning of these things to notify Child Protective Services(CPS). CPS will see to it the child gets help and hopefully correct the problem at home.

I believe it is still possible to advise a teacher or principal of the girls depressive episode and what your boyfriend did to help her. He didn't change things at home. Whatever was bothering her at home may still be bothering her and she could easily back slide.

If I were the Principal I would call CPS and I would make it known that your boyfriend was caring enough to help a desperate student pull back form the edge of suicidal thoughts. I'm sure there is an assembly in this where your boyfriend could receive a certificate of Merit for his actions.

My advice is to go to the Principal and let him/her know what you know. This girl is not out of the woods she has just taken a step back.

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