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Don't know what to do anymore
i was studying engineering for about an year and then i slowly started to loose interest in the subject so i started to bunk classes and eventually didn't attend the second semester exams and i quit the college because i had no interest at all .
i always wanted to become a pilot but , as you know the course is very expensive so i had to settle for studying Aircraft Maintenance Engineering basically it's job is an Airplane Mechanic with an engineering title and it's not even an engineering course . and this i found out after joining this course (yeah i was kinda sweet talked into it and i didn't have any other choice )
i didn't even wanna do this in the first place but i had to do it as my mom was putting a lot of pressure on me as she always does
i never wanted to study Engineering but because of my family i had to do it but as you know i ended up quitting that.
and now that i've joined this course just because i had to study something , i didn't and don't have any other choice .
Most of my Family members got to know that i had stopped going to my Engineering college and idk how the word got around but many of my far relatives got to know this and they all seemed to talk about me and ask my mom about me whenever they met during a function and they were kinda bad mouthing so my mom got angry at me and now i'm trying to study this Aircraft Maintenance course as i mentioned earlier.
TBH this college where i'm studying my AME , it's not good at all . They don't care much about their students . All they care about is money ( well that's another topic).
And now i don't feel like going to this college too . i want to study this but i just can't .
i just don't have much interest in studies anymore. but i've paid a lot of money so i have no other choice but lately i haven't attended my college like from 8 days !
my mother is just FORCING me a lot to go there every morning . and she doesn't understand this and she just wants me to go there and study...get good grades because she paid a lot of fees ( i get it from her point of view )
but i just don't want to do it.
i'm really not happy with myself .
i'm not interested in one thing for a long time
i get boored very quickly .and i've calculated the time and it's 3 months
i get boored after 3 months in anyting i'm interested .
and i'm tired of living like this . i think i'm trying to blame others for my mistakes like my mom for example . i think i'm just looking for excuses for all the shitty decisions that i take in my life
Honestly i'm just not happy with myself and i don't have the will power to live anymore and i have lost hope in life itself.
and i can't talk to anyone about this as i don't have much people to talk about these kind of stuff.
And idk what to do . Any Advice is Much Appreciated and Thankyou for taking your time in reading this !
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I'm not a doctor but it sounds to me as if you suffer from some form of attention deficit disorder. It is not uncommon for someone at your age to suffer with this and it is treatable.
What I would like you to do is see your family doctor and explain just how you feel and ask for a complete physical to rule out any organic problem that might be causing how your feel. Once you have been cleared medically ask your doctor to recommend a Boar Certified Psychiatrist (BCD) to evaluate you for ADHD or any other disorder that could be causing your to feel this way.
Why a psychiatrist? Because most of these type problems are due to the lack of certain hormones secreted into the brain. A BCD is a medical doctor who has done a fellowship in psychiatry and is better qualified to treat you medically then one who has not done a fellowship[ and is not BCD.
The medications prescribed are to replace the hormones missing. Then the doctor will mot likely suggest talk therapy to get you out of the funk (depression) you have gotten yourself into over this situation.
If it is any consultation my son went through exactly what your going through at about your age. He did as I am asking you to do. He took a semester off got his head straight as to what he really wanted and went back to school and got his degree. He now has the job he always wanted and will be married in the spring. The only difference between you two is I did not pressure him to take a specific course. Once you are in talk therapy the therapist can help you get mom off your back so you can sort things out and find a direction you truly want to take.
Good luck and let me know how things work out for you.
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