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I told him to get another girl, but he said he wants to wait for me. I need advice
I'm a virgin, my boyfriend is also a virgin. Since we are in a long distance relationship, we got to meet again last month. We've had series of make out and all, and we were close to having sex. Last Saturday, I was at his place and we tried having sex, when he tried penetrating, twas painful and we stopped. Now, I told him I'm not ready for sex for now and all he said was that we should not think about sex in our relationship again.. It's not like I don't want it, but my mind and body is not ready. I don't wanna loose him I told him to get another girl, but he said he wants to wait for me. I need advice
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
How old are you guys.?
Now if you aren't ready that is OKAY.! Don't ever feel like you have to for ANYONE.! Now if he wants to wait and don't want to move on that says alot about his character to wait for you. Make sure that he is waiting and not just saying that. Now I think you should get checked out by a doctor to make sure he didn't penetrate, but again depends on your age because under 18 you will have to tell your guardian. Talk to him and let him know you do care about him, but you aren't ready yet and make sure he is really okay with that. I hope you still are a virgin so when you are ready it can be a very special first time and with either him or someone special.
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It would help in answering this question to know your age. For a women When may have the body of a women very early in puberty but to be ready for sex her body may not be which is why penetration was painful and if it had been successful you may have been harmed.
There are muscles in the vagina that are frozen or locked so to speak. Which is why when a young girl is molested it is so brutal. During puberty hormones are released at a certain age, different ages for each girl based on their bodies and other factors, that release these muscles. Once these muscles are released the only pain on first intercourse you should feel is the tearing of you Hyman if it is still intact.
Today many active teenage girls will rupture their Hymans long before they have intercourse which is why todays definition of virgin is; "Someone who has not experienced penis to vagina penetration." since your boyfriend did not penetrate you I would say you can still say your a virgin. If he did get any part of his penis in you then you are no longer a virgin and neither is he. You will have to decide if he did or not.
When it comes to sex in a dating relationship it is the girl not the boy who has the final say as to when she will have sex with him if ever. She is the one that gets pregnant and she is the one that has to make hard choices if she does.
If your not ready for sex then that's the final answer. If he wants to wait until your ready that's his choice. Don't let him pressure you to have sex before your ready. And when you are ready you do not let his penis near you unless it has a condom on it. He says he is a virgin and that's fine. Start your sex life the right way using condoms regardless of the fact when you decide to get birth control medication. Condoms prevent the spread of many of the STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. Until you are in a permanent monogamous relationship your partner needs to use condoms.
In my day the girls would say, No rubber no lover." It was good then and it is even better today.
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