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DOES THIS MAKE A PERSON A LESBIAN
now a lot of women hit on me...why I don't know, I am straight....anyway here's my issue so i needed 2 use another coworkers comp so I found one which was unfortunately by my freaky coworker and she just said 2 me, so you are going be my cute desk buddy, just smiling with all 32 teeth...I said uh hell no....she smirked and said so you don't wanna be...see I knew she was freak/had a thing for me ....eeeewww sick
the fact she called me cute, told the story right there...who calls their coworkers cute.....she's around my age 30's ...I swear every job I go too there's always some chic hitting on me or flirting with me...so gross ...
anyway folks are saying if women hit on you then you are giving off some kinda gay vibe...I don't think that's they case, I just think they find me attractive and that is all...while it is gross I don't think they think im gay...this seems to happen 2 me at every job im at, some chic is crushin.....what do you think....
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Lets get this straight at the start, if you are female and you believe another female is hitting on you, then either she thinks you are bi-sexual or gay which also means lesbian. I used to attend a swing club with my ex. We didn't part because of that however. In the club there were lots of bi-sexual women. My neighbor friend was bi and told me not to worry, that the bi women would just automatically know I wasn't bi. There was a dance at the beginning of the evening attendance. I like to dance and normally would dance with only men as I am straight. After attending many times, one night on the dance floor which was really crowded, a female asked me if I was bi. I said no and she said "Oh, I'm surprised, I thought you were by how you were acting." Since it only happened once, I assume she wasn't able to read people well. I really don't think it has anything to do with our actions as in my case or even peoples looks as you seem to think possible. I had a guy who was straight, tell me that he got hit on all the time by men. I was surprised and asked why he thought it was so. He said that they simply told him that he had the look/a certain kind of handsomeness that gay men have and it had nothing to do with the exaggerated actions of what TV portrays gay men to be. I happen to know some gay men, a couple in the family and they do not act at all like the stereotype. If they hadn't told us they were gay, I wouldn't have known at all. So I don't think there is a certain kind of look for males or females if they are gay. If gay women are trying to find a new female sweetheart, then going only by a persons appearance is like hunting for a needle in a haystack and not a good way at all to find someone. So they add the leaving of little hints like stating you are cute or the way they smile or brush up against you (seemingly accidentally,) too often.
So that would leave a vibe, or some kind of energy they pick up on. In your case, I don't think you are giving off vibes. But here's something you can think about. I followed an experiment in a magazine to gain self confidence by imagining yourself to be a certain famous celebrity. I chose to focus on my eyes, my best feature and no one ever had said anything about my eyes. Several times a day, especially before entering a building, store, room, etc. I would picture myself looking like that celeb as I entered, and getting the kind of attention she would, due to the self confidence many celebs have. From the very first time I tried it, I began to get comments from men and women about how beautiful my eyes were. I was not even wearing make up or acting different. I only focused on this picture in my mind. SO what were they picking up on all of a sudden? It was that unseen thing, energy, vibe, whatever you want to call it. But I know a tiny bit of psychology and so know about the subconscious mind. I think its the subconscious rather than the conscious mind that picks up on subtle things. Our subconscious can be wrong at times. It also has our best interests in mind. What ever a person thinks about most, a sub. mind will think must be important enough that it needs to help their person get it, achieve it. IF a person also thinks all the time about being in a car accident or getting raped, our subconscious doesn't see it as bad or good, just important enough to you to find a way to make it happen. I have put myself in gay people shoes as far as finding a partner. There really aren't any sure-fire ways to discover who is and who isn't. Like I said, you really can't tell from looks, maybe actions but that can be misleading too and some peoples sub. minds are at war with the conscious mind and both want something totally different so what they do in life is always fluctuating, all over the place. So I am thinking that you might try an exercise of using your imagination to picture a man at your side holding your hand where-ever you go. Perhaps the females who hit on you will pick up that mental energy and feel you are straight and not bug you. The best way to meet someone very specific you are looking for is on the internet. There are many chat rooms, dating sites, support groups for gay people on line. I used the internet to find my 2nd husband. I learned the hard way from the first what things to spot that are a troublesome partner. Before the internet, I attended singles events to try and find someone. It only took twiced with many failures every time of guys approaching me, asking a question which I answered truthfully and when they didn't believe the same way i did on some things/issues, they were horrified and told me to get away from them and not come near them again. Most the time, they approached me first so I actually just laughed and turned to the internet. That way I could put a very strict list of criteria a guy had to meet before writing to me. Thats how I whittled down the choices so it wasn't like hunting for a needle in a haystack.
If you try to imagine if you were gay, how would you go about finding a date? Its hard enough between heterosexuals, both afraid to share how they feel if the other doesn't feel the same, overthinking actions and words, you know, the usual issues why two people don't get together...like a big one of fear and of rejection. So many resort to lukewarm cues which many may not notice or being blatant and just spilling it all out with professing how they feel or hinting all the time with lots of flirting. Gay people basically need to do the same thing.
Your best bet really is honesty and speaking up.
If it were me and that gal said to me 'so you are going to be my cute desk buddy", I would have said "First, thanks for the compliment but that comes across as something a female doesn't say unless she's gay, so to let you know, I am not gay." Them by what I said, She either has to clarify that she is indeed gay and sorry for thinking you are gay or she could say, I am not gay either. This is just part of my weird personality. Thats the easiest way to find out whats going on with the women who seem to be hitting on you. Don't react with horror and the eeewww disgusted face, no matter how you might feel inside. If you asked a guy out and He gave you that reaction, wouldn't it bother you, maybe even hurt? NO matter if he was gay or not? I think your generation is one unlike mine that grew up as kids in a time when being gay is openly accepted among your age group, maybe some pep rallys for gays at HS,(I know of two girls at different HS that did that) and it's in the TV shows and movies as a normal part of life.
It really isn't all that bizarre or ungodly to be gay. For eons, farmers have watched to see which of their male sheep or goats for example were interested in female sheep and which tried unsuccessfully to mate with males. See, they want to grow their flock and a straight animal will not be good to kill for meat if they will help produce more baby animals to sell or just grow the flock. The gay ones would be the ones more likely to be killed for meat. SO its not just humans but in animals too. YOu have to decide ahead of time how you want to handle each situation. If you are wrong, then don't act embarassed, just giggle and say, oops, well I was pretty sure thats what you were getting at. Sorry. If you act light hearted, most likely the other will not be offended if you were wrong,and if right, at least, they now know to not plan to do any flirting with you.
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