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Not having the college experience?
My first year of university is almost over and I'd have to say I didn't even have what you can say a college experience, I didn't get to live on campus (which I regret not doing), I only went to three out of the ten freshmen orientation days so all the friends I've made on there forgot who I am (I know this because I've added them on Facebook and to this day none of them accepted by their profile pics always change). I don't get to stay on campus past 6:30 cause my parents say it's not safe, my school is known as the rape school but it's my mom that forced me to go there cause it's close to home. Anyways during my first year if you've seen my previous questions I've been complaining about not having any friends and I've learned to accept it. But I just wish I had some sort of the college experience, I feel like such a prune, in high school I didn't drink at all or partied (legal drinking age here is 19 and in the province beside mine it's 18) , I'm 18 still haven't had my first kiss and I believe that as you get older in university it gets more embarrassing to admit this. I don't have any guy friends at all because I'm super awkward around guys. Do you have any tips on getting the college experience? I'm supposed to be experiementing and trying new things while still trying to get an education. I think it's my hormones talking but I want to hook up with boys or be in a relationship, have a good group have friends i thought my life would've been better in college but my life is still sheltered and boring and my mom doesn't give me any freedom and because of her I'm also scared to stay on campus at night now, if you see this please give me tips and thank you
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Honey,
I've been in a very similar situation to you, with loneliness in college and a terribly controlling mother. My mom moved into my apartment for 3 years of college because she was unemployed and tried to control my life the whole time.
My first suggestion for you is to try your best to get out of living at home. February- March is the perfect time of the year to start looking at your schools facebook pages or craiglist listings. Look for all girls houses with girls who are from a similar background to you and have similar interests. Look for adverts where the people who wrote them sound kind and friendly. Try to get a single room. Visit the people and houses before you go and go with your gut instinct if it will be a good fit. I know this can be scary but I made this leap of faith and ended up living with some really great people. I visited 6 houses and talked to about 40 people on facebook before I found the right fit for me. If you can afford it, moving into a studio apartment could be an option. If your school provides dorms for second years, look into those.
I'd also recommend getting really involved with clubs or activities. During my freshman year, I started going to group exercise classes at my university gym. FYI I never did team sports and was probably the least athletic girl in my entire highschool. I tried Zumba and was terrible but enjoyed it. This led me to try ballroom dancing classes. I'm also super awkward around guys but I made my first ever guy friends through the ballroom dancing class. I liked it so much I started a university dance club with my friends from the class. This was a great way to meet more people and make more friends.
Any type of exercise is great for anyone.It's also a great social acitivity and way to make friends. I'd recommend getting into some kind of sport even if you never have before. Taking group exercise classes at the gym led me to try powerlifiting. Weight training strengthens the mind as well as the body. In other words, it makes you feel happy, confident in loving yourself, and also makes you look really slim and hot. You can do it by yourself to start off with. So I'd recommend looking into that. Start with a personal trainer if you need help and can afford 1-2 sessions. Look at bodybuilding.com for tips and youtube gurus like blogilates for general exercise tips. This is the best advice I can give you for getting rid of sexual frustration and preparing for future relationships with guys. Oh btw, I had my first kiss at 21 so you're definitely not the latest. The guy I kissed actually liked the fact I hadn't kissed anyone before and tried to make it really special.
I also decided to run a 5K as a personal challenge. All you need is a pair of running shoes and a nike couch to 5K program that you can find online. Train at your gym or local areas that are safe. It's great because it's equally fun to run by yourself or with other people.
If these things don't interest you, think about things that have in the past or things you want to try. Maybe joining clubs that are about art, music, community service, anime, horse-riding, movies, relgion,political protests, volunteering at a local hospital, singing, acapella, marching band ... the list goes on and on. I joined a church because I'm religious and the people there are super friendly. I made some friends there. If your school is a party school, I'd advise you to be very careful about checking out the party scene. Avoid sororities and fraternities and only go to parties once you've made some friends you trust and can go with a wingwoman.
I've been where you've been and I know how frustrating and depressing it can be. I'd say think about the person you want to be become, and how you can get there. Use the internet to find blogs and books that will give you good quality advice. It's up to you to take the reins, grit your teeth and take leaps of faith forward. I wish I could talk to you in real life to ask questions and share my experience more. Good luck- I know you can do it :)
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