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Is he actually still interested?
I have been dating this guy in school for close to a year now,After our long break, i noticed we don't communicate as usual. when he came to visit me in my hostel, i had a friend with me,he and that my friend talked for hours to the extent of ignoring me. somedays when am passing by(cos we live in the same neighborhood) he talks to my housemates, and ignores me,this has been going on for a long time. our chat that used to be long and interesting has become super boring, and he used to come over at least 3times a week, now he comes once a week, and he is always pressing his phone till he falls asleep.. Is he losing interest in me?.. Cos when i asked him,he said he is still interested in us,but i am losing interest already due to his behavior
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Is he still interested? He might be and he might be doing the best he is capable of. What matters just as much is what it is that you are looking for in a boyfriend and possible future long term relationship, married or not.
Heres some things to keep in mind:
1,
Both people need to be putting equal efforts into the relationship if it is to survive or be a healthy happy one. Here's a quote about that. "Happily ever after doesn't happen just because we wish it so. It only happens when both people put in maximum effort to make it so.
2.
Not all people are created with the same pheromones and there's nothing you can do to change his or yours to match each others better.
I figure pheromones are what people are referring to when we say theres chemistry or not. This lack of closely matching pheremones makes the difference from a person being interesting or boring. Take it another step and its the difference in a kiss feeling its from a passionate lover vs the feeling if the passionate kiss came from a male relative.
3.
I look for consistancy in a person. It does take some time to give a person a chance to prove themselves before you or hang themselves. What a person acts like, what they stand for, their morals, character, beliefs, etc. should remain stable and the same. Sometimes it simply comes with maturity as you get older plus a little effort. Others have to work harder at it. You are looking for contradictions here. Sweet at first, then angry and yelling even tho they say they are laid back, easy going and don't get angry easily.
While its understandable for some things to change if they are in search mode, lets say for a religious belief, or what is morally okay, if they have already found that which resonates with them, there is no reason to be changing drastically back and forth all the time. That's what I had with first husband. Inconsistent. So the good times grew shorter, while the bad times grew longer until there were no more good moments with him at all.
Its for you to determine if he's young enough that he hasn't yet decided who he really is and what he wants, or whether this is as good as you can ever expect from him.
With every man you ever date, I want you to make a list of any traits you really like in him, or things you find you actually need in a guy. Make a list of what you don't like and won't tolerate ever also. A need is a must have, meaning its a deal breaker if its not present in him. A want is more of a desire, like long vs short hair but isn't really a deal breaker. It doesn't matter how short or long a time you dated. However when you come across behavior you don't like, the reason you're seeing it is because of cracks in the facade a person presents to you. So if he says he is a patient man but the first time he's impatient with you, you can expect that there's more of that trait where the one came from. Its nice to think the best only of a person but when going into a relationship its a risky choice to blindly believe that every person comes with a one time only bad attitude and will never repeat it cus it was only a coincidence.
Keep all this in mind when determining whether he's a keeper or whether there's something that can be changed, or whether its time to leave him. That is your decision dear. Good luck.
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