Hi, my name's Nick. I'm 15 years old (male) and I'm in love with my 14 year old friend (female). She likes to mess with me a lot, like one time she jumped on top of me to get me down on the ground to see who has the most strength and she likes to grab my stuff and make me chase her for it; and our personalities are SO SIMILAR! She was recently tipped off by a (not anymore) acquaintance of mine that I liked her and she ACTUALLY believed him! We had a long and award messages chat (I couldn't see her in person as she was on vacation) She said that it was pretty obvious to her that I liked her after which she apologized for not being able to hang out and I was reassuring her, telling her how she shouldn't AT ALL be sorry. But during our chat after those events occured she told me that she has a boyfriend which I find weird because she's never mentioned a boyfriend before and she always says she's going to the movies with him. ALWAYS! Even on weekdays! I used to see her practically every day and now suddenly out of the blue she's SO BUSY?! I feel that she's avoiding me even though i already know she's not but that doesn't change the fact that it hurts. I know you're gonna say that I'm too young to know what love is or that its just "want" getting the better of me but frankly I DON'T CARE! I LOVE her and I would NEVER IN MY LIFE hurt her because of my "want" or anger I would for whatever reason have toward her at the time. IF IT HELPS PLEASE NOTE THAT I LIVE A 3 MINUTE WALK FROM HER HOUSE. Any Advice? (sorry its so long)
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? Dragonflymagic answered Tuesday September 6 2016, 4:07 pm: I will agree that mentioning she has a boyfriend, mythical tho he may be, just might be a ruse she is using to keep you from getting any idea's about you and her. However, the fact that she'll go after you first, taking your stuff to make you chase her and considering the age, tells me that she likes the interaction with you or she wouldn't be egging you on that way. My twist on this is that whether she really likes you as a friend or something more, she is at least trying to be cautious or perhaps scared cus this is new territory. For younger teens who may not have dated this is a time of life when we all start having romantic interest in another but having little experience, have no idea how to have a normal dating relationship. Girls always have to worry about a guy wanting sex long before she may be ready when all she wants in the beginning is getting comfortable with and enjoying certain things very slowly. By listening to other females, she may have heard the horror stories. Since you're already friends, she might trust you as just a friend but anything beyond that, she may have no idea what to expect from you or how to act if you were to become boyfriend/girlfriend.
You both have the perfect situation to learn about the opposite sex being already friends. If she truly is having feelings for you, she's just scared to act on it beyond what she's done.
I feel a talk might be good but don't confront her on what she is doing or any fibs she may be saying. I would ask that since you're both friends, you wondered if you both could practice with each other how to understand the thinking and reasoning of the opposite sex, practice dating techniques, hand holding flirting, maybe kisses, but most of all creating your own learning arena where its safe for both of you with no pressure for sex. That is something for the future. If in the practicing, you both fall in love, (never mind telling her you feel that way now or it will put pressure on her and scare her-same goes for adults) then you will become an official couple. But if the both of you end up going different directions in dating, at least you'll have the memories and the experience gained. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
solidadvice4teens answered Tuesday September 6 2016, 11:33 am: I have a feeling that you have misread the things she does in goofing around as a sign of love and not friendship. I think friends is all she has in mind.
The fact she is suddenly busy all the time even after her vacation and has a boyfriend nobody ever knew existed suggests she might be trying to get you to go away or I'm not interested in you on any level without hurting you. I would wait awhile and see what happens. If she's a true friend she will include you as always especially with school in session. If she shows no interest in you in the next little while move on. She seems to be sending this vibe.
You could try talking to her about this but if she's put up a wall and says she has a boyfriend which you can't verify than there's not much point as nothing can be done about this and the friendship may go south if it hasn't just now. I would back off of her entirely and wait to see if she comes to you and things are as usual now that vacation is over. [ solidadvice4teens's advice column | Ask solidadvice4teens A Question ]
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