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MY FRIEND KEEPS ON LYING?
Hi! I need advise. My friend keeps on lying for some reason and it is SO obvious sometimes. Like the other day I told her I got a new Tablet, she then told me she has one too(last time I asked she said she only has a phone). A week later she says her father bought for her a Tablet and that I am not the only one with a Tablet between out group of friends.
There was also a day she showed us pictures of her 'boyfriend' on her phone, the pictures were clearly taken from a magazine. All my friends knew but they didn't tell her they knew. I told her and she denied it.
She also sometimes tells us how her mother abuses her. Other days she tells us how 'sweet' her mother is. One day she hates her father the next day she really loves him.
There are also other times she lies and its not even necessary. She is no longer fun because she keeps on lying! What do I do? She should really stop coz I don't know what to believe anymore!! I am not even sure if she's okay mentally. Btw I am a girl.
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I think we've all met someone like this, who constantly lies about things for attention. However, it's important that you know she isn't a bad person, she is clearly crying out for attention. People who lie about everything, even the littlest of things, usually want people to feel sorry for them so that they get attention, and even though it's frustrating and irritating, she just needs help. It's not the right way to ask for help, but everyone has different ways of dealing with things. In my opinion, it seems to be people who don't fit in very well - never had much attention from their family, never really had any friends, so they try a different way to make people like them by making them feel sorry for them. The fact that she says 'I have a tablet, too' when you say you have one, it sounds like she is trying to be friends with you and have something in common with you, maybe she's even trying to be like you. She obviously has low self-esteem and personal problems, and maybe a socialization issue.
I would say there are two options here (that I can think of, anyway):
1. Avoid her, cut her out of your life. If you feel like she is causing you stress then you shouldn't have to put up with it.
2. Confront her, tell her that you know she is lying and ask her why, tell her to be completely honest and tell her that you understand.
Please don't blame her or judge her for lying, a lot of people feel left out and lie to fit in or get attention from people because they feel alone. It's not okay to lie, I am not condoning what she has done/said, but she clearly needs help. However, I'm not saying you have to help her, it's not your problem, if you can't deal with helping her then you have every right to cut her out of your life, but whatever you do, try to understand what she is going through and how she is feeling. It sounds like she is very much alone right now and needs a friend - you could be the friend that helps her and makes her feel less alone. Good luck.
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