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I just want to die
Life sucks, my dad hates me, my sister hates me, my brother has autism i have very little friends school is starting soon and i KNOW i will get bullied. I hate myself and a lot of people i thought were my friends end up hating me. My mom doesn't care and thinks all my problems are invalid. I am always sad and happiness never lasts. I'm a 12 year old girl BTW...I feel like no one loves me. I guess I'm just hoping for a reason to live...any ideas?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I think the reason to keep living when things look all dark and hopeless is because nobody knows how things will be a week, a month, a year, or even longer from now. Life isn't a set thing, it's what you call dynamic (it's constantly in motion and ever changing). You won't always feel the way you do right now. Find some positives and focus on them and build on them. Don't dwell on the things that are wrong, look at the things you are getting right. Which wrong things can you change? In the worse cases, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep moving forward and wait for a break or a turnaround in your luck. Recognise it when it comes too, not all breaks come marked and labelled! What you do not want to do is die. Because that just takes you completely out of the picture, doesn't it? It's the end of any possibility of improvement. The school bullying thing seems to figure strongly in your worries? Work hard to put out some really good strong friendly vibes with your classmates. If you look like you hate yourself, and them too then it will tend to attract bullies, who are always on the look out for a victim. You really have got a lot of control on the sort of image you project to people. Who knows, the people you fear will bully you could just as easily wind up great friends? It would be nice if your mum was more supportive and took your worries a bit more seriously, for sure. But when it comes down to it, it's you who have to live your life and face the challenges isn't it, not your mum? You're well on the way to making your own mark in the world now your 12. Forming your own character. Not totally defined and determined by your family any more, wouldn't you agree? I bet you feel a lot more independent (like, 'your own person') than you did a year ago? You'll probably not agree right now, but I most sincerely doubt your mum, dad and brother actually do hate you. You're just seeing things with a "my glass is half-empty" eye and not "my glass is still half full" angle I reckon? Maybe think of your problems as the fences or hurdles facing a jockey on a horse. As each one comes, you set about jumping it if you want to keep moving forward and in with a chance to win. You would take each hurdle as it comes and judge it on it's merits wouldn't you? You can't jump them all at once. And you definitely can't jump ones that haven't even been put up! If you think it out to much upfront you can easily get to thinking "There are too many hurdles, they're to high, I'll never do it." And you'd never even bother to start the race once you're in that mindset. OK, you don't always win. But if you finish knowing anyone watching can say "She ran a big race"...that's a win. Hang in there. Stick it out and you'll turn things around. Now go out and run the biggest race that's in you!!
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Hun, I am battling those same wars, believe me. I am not going to say the cliche "But you're only twelve!" because I felt that way when I was your age as well. When I was twelve, the people who I thought were my friends ended up betraying me. Stabbing me in my back, as people consider to say. They had lied to this popular girl that I disrespected her by naming her as a slut. Which I honestly never did. I was known as the innocent, quiet girl, so I have no idea why everyone believed it. I am severely depressed. I have suffered major bipolar depression for over seven years now. I know how painful it is. Happiness never lasts for me either. But I know it does get better. I know people who have overcame depression; I'm just awaiting my turn.
What has helped me was my god Cernunnos. I don't know if you believe in gods and goddesses or not, but yeah, Cernunnos is what helped me.
Another thing could be music. Maybe a certain singer who makes you happy. Bobby Mares is my favorite singer; he most of the time keeps me motivated to be positive. His music always makes me happy.
Writing; you can right down your feelings. I write poetry on how I feel, but never let anyone read them.
I daydream a lot; about things that make me happy.
I like you, especially because I can relate to you a lot.
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