|
Teen Love
Where do I begin. This guy, Jake, and I have been good friends for about 4-5 years (7th grade), to now (juniors). And I've always liked him. He knew. Unfortunately, he never did anything about it. Him and I were always talking on and off. And he recently just came back in my life. He honestly always was, we just started talking (texting) more.I need advice on how he might feel. I could love to know, but I'm tired of expressing my feelings, if he just doesn't care. I feel he likes me because he talks to me, hugs me,looks in my eyes, and he just gets serious when he talks to me. Now, I feel he doesn't like me because, he hasn't said anything. I feel like he may not be boyfriend material, or has if he thinks I will control him. You've gotta remember, I've liked this kid for years now. It kills me not knowing answers. Everyone tells me, "love can wait". And it can, but this still kills me.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You say he's more serious now? Perhaps what it is, is that he's matured greatly since 7th grade and now really realizes the value of your friendship and may be ready to make it more than friends. Although he talks well enough, he may not be the personality type to share constantly whats on his mind and heart, prefering to keep much private. I do not know him so its hard to tell.
I will say that if he didn't care aboat you on some level, as friends or hoping for more, then he wouldn't be hanging around with you. Gorls are often ahead of guys when it comes to love and relationships and it takes guys a while to catch up.
What you need to do is be direct in your questions, without it seeming like you are grilling him. He needs to know how you feel about him and that you'd like to know as well. Here's how to say it, or put in your own words. 'Jake, I need to tell you something important. (This is to get his full attention) I am beginning to have stronger feelings for you. (Not saying you've felt like this for a while or all along, cus that makes it sound like he has to feel the same and he might say he does only to not hurt your feelings or lose you as a best friend. But you want him to not feel it's so final so that he has a chance to get used to the idea.) So I am wondering how you feel about us, am I just friend material or do you think it could be something more? (This kind of question is asking his opinion in a way that is friendly for him to share the truth that he is ready to be a boyfriend or that he just doesn't have those kinds of romantic feelings towards you, which I call chemistry.(Its matching pheremones) I can't say why one person will have those needed romance feelings towards someone while the other doesn't but it happens. If it's enough to know for now but take things really slow for him to have time to get used to then do so.
Not boyfriend material? Depends on what you think a boyfriend is? A boyfriend is the predecessor to a long term mate or life long partner with or without marriage. As such, a boyfriend will need to qualify in 2 basic areas, 1. Needing to be your best friend and 2. Having
I don't know why you feel he may think you'd control him. Does he have controlling parents or a friend who is like that? yOU dont have to answer me, just figure it out yourself. No one should exert control over the other in a relationship ever, not even the guy over the female. that puts a relationship OUt of Balance. If the two can't share equal responsibility of time and effort in the relationship, it'll never really work out. Happily ever after doesn't happen just because we wish it so. It only happens when both parties put in maximum effort to make it so.
boy
]
More Questions: |