|
I don't want to lose my dad
My dad is one of the greatest people I know. We have had our times. I used to call him "the little ball of fire" because he's a small man but when he's angry... He's the scary kind of angry. He doesn't hit anyone but he does know how to raise his voice and people are afraid of him whenever he does. Yeah, he has anger problems but he's also someone very kind.
I remember he used to spoil me and my sister when we were younger. We would wake up every morning and see a bag of Snicker Balls, Hershey's, or some sort of candy on our desk. He did our laundry, he cooked, he would clean whenever our mom was out of the country. He took care of us. If there was something wrong with my car, he would try to fix it himself and watch me leave every morning and afternoon to make sure I leave safely. He would used to say that I was so "cool" or "awesome" because of whatever grade I got. He was supportive as a father and he was always proud of me.
My dad is getting closer to that age where I'm actually terrified of losing him. He's not that strong man anymore. He still climbs a few ladders, still mows the lawn and he's still able to walk around... But he's a bit slower now. He's starting to limp and it makes me sad.
What makes it worse is that I know he has regrets in life. I remember he told my sister that he was sorry. He said that he was sorry that he never made enough money, he's sorry that he retired at an early age and that he wishes that he had the money to buy all these things for my sister and I... But he can't. He called himself a failure and hearing that from my own father... It broke my heart.
I know it's part of nature and eventually everyone passes away but how could you even be prepared for things like that? I don't want to even think about losing him or even think that it's possible that he would be gone one day. I make myself forget about it but every year that passes, I'm happy that I get older but I also become sad because he's also a year older. I want him to be there when I get married and when I have kids. I want him to see his grandchildren for the first time (he's always wanted grandchildren)... But I'm also afraid that he won't be able to make it by then.
I'm still very young. I'm 20. I have not graduated from college yet. My older sister is 5 years older than I am... but she does not want to get married or have children. It's not my goal to make my dad's dream come true but it would definitely be a plus if I could. I just want my dad to be happy and have absolutely no regrets when it is his time.
What should I do? How could I be more positive about this?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Hey there, your question really stood out to me because I am having the same feelings towards my own parents, specifically my mom. I am young too, 21. I think feelings like this are very normal at our age when we no longer feel the need to distance ourselves from our parents. We start to notice how much they have done for us and realize that they will eventually not be there anymore.
I still get feelings like this sometimes and they hurt a lot! What I've realized that has helped me through it somewhat is that being a parent is an increddibly rewarding experience on its own. Once you have children, your entire life becomes about theirs, and one of the biggest joys for parents is to know they did a good job. That their child is strong, happy, successful, and i think most importantly appreciative.
I think the best thing you can do is show your dad that you appreciate him for everything he has done. Show him how much you love him, talk to him about your life, about how you are, how you feel, show him he raised a good person and that he was a good father. I think even if people have regrets in their lives, which is inevitable, knowing that they did something right can make them feel like it was all worth it. I think if you show him that he gave you something much more valuable than money - his time and life - and you appreciate him for it, this will make him happy. Because if you think about it he feels regret because he couldnt give you more things in the way of money, but he gave you the experience of a real father, which is something you cant trade for anything in the entire world. It almost definitely made you into a better person.
My parents have given me everything, and everytime they feel bad about not having more money to give me I always tell them that what they gave was so much more valuable than aynthing their money could buy and I will never be able to repay them. It always puts a smile on their face to know i appreciate that they gave their lives for me, because that is what parents essentially do for their kids, and sadly it almost always is not appreciated until they are no longer there. You have the chance now to appreciate your dad and let him know his life served a purpose!!
]
More Questions: |