Member Since: April 28, 2012
Answers: 1
Last Update: April 28, 2012
Visitors: 532
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I am an 18 year old male and I have been a pretty emotionally dead person for...well since my early childhood. And when I say dead I don't mean depressed or really down or anything of that nature. It's nearly impossible for me to feel anything genuine and I can only put a mask of fakeness on so I don't seem so far out. When I was in a psychology class I read about something called anti-social personality disorder and it almost disturbed me how similar the symptoms were to my own character. I've done enough to put myself away for the better half of my life and I haven't felt a shred of remorse or conscience. Anyways, I'm wondering if my lack of emotion is a cause of concern. Nothing brings me joy, pain, or sorrow and I can't even feel love for my own family anymore. NOTHING will make me feel anything and it bothers me. All I feel like is a body and a brain without a soul. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm a very intelligent person and all it seems I can do is succeed with material things like work while my relationships are built on false pretenses and emotions I never even felt but acted like I did. My question is: If there is anybody somewhat educated about this...what could be wrong with me? Do I have anti-social personality disorder?...and am I stuck with this? (link)
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I think I know what you're talking about. I hope you understand what I'm about to tell you without much trouble.
I am not a doctor; I have to medical schooling. I have a pornography addiction that I've been trying to end for three years; only in the last six months or so (since I started seeing a LGSW) have I made much progress. What follows is a process that I have found to be helpful in understanding the way changes in my life can occur.
The first step to regaining your emotions is to realize they are missing.
The second step is to decide that you want them back. Not much you can do about not feeling if you don't want to feel.
The third step is plan a way to get them back.
The fourth step is to put that plan into action.
The fifth step is to maintain the plan and the changes you have made.
The sixth step is to relapse into a lack of feelings.
From there, you go back to step three and try again.
None of these steps are easy. You really do have to want it.
The first two steps are pretty self-explanatory, and while the reasoning behind them varies from person to person, I don't think I need to explain more about them.
The third step requires some pretty deep thoughts on your part - this is where you dig into yourself and try to find the cause of your feelinglessness. I found it helpful to try to pinpoint the exact moment my feelings disappeared from my life - that moment is usually pretty significant in solving this puzzle.
The fourth step, too, is pretty straightforward. You think you've figured out why you stopped feeling, and you think you've found a way to start again. Now, you do it.
The fifth step is the most difficult. Ideally, if the problem was solved, this step would never end. Unfortunately, I have not been so lucky - I've been through here four or five times so far, and I've been trying for less than a year.
The sixth step is the most disappointing.
If at first you don't succeed: Try, try again. You might want to look into find a therapist. Mine has helped me uncover so much from my past that I don't think I would have found on my own. They make their living by helping people figure their own lives out - they're a pretty cool bunch.
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