thewinterbones's advice column

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Q: is it normal when you're first being fingered it hurts and when being switched to 2 or 3 fingers it feels like your about to bleed or blow up?!
and is it natural it hurts when you're dry down there?

My first time the guy used only one finger. And the second time the guy tried using two. And it hurt for me with even one.So yeah, it's normal..But maybe the guy should slow it down next time..

Q: what are some good masturbation techniques i can do? i dont know why but it doesnt feel good to me if i just finger myself.. thanks.

Lots of girls don't get any pleasure out of fingering themselves; usually prefer the opposite sex or whoever theyre involved with to do it cause well, it takes a lot more for a girl to "get in the mood" than guys, especially if theyre by themselves.

No worries!

Q: what are some sex positions

Well really you should just watch some porn.

But uhhh...

Here's a lot of different sex positions to try :
http://www.101-sex-positions.com/

Here's also a lot with cartoon illustrations also :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sex_positions

-Melissa.

Q: why is it that after i masturbate i feel like i am a slut? i hate that feeling. is there anything i can do to not feel like a slut?

I experience the same kind of feeling now and then. You just have to realize it's normal to. It's actually healthy too.

Q: What dose it mean, what will i feel and what is an orgasium? i realy need to know.

Basically youll feel like you have to pee, but when you overcome that feeling than youll feel a wholeeee lot of pleasure and most girls feet go numb, or your lips get darker, etc.

Q: if a girl gets fingered would the guys like it if they shaved before?

Most guys yes.

Q: what does it taste like?

Everyone has different opinions about it. It didn't really taste like anything to me. Basically it depends how the guy eats. Certain guys have certain tastes, don't be worrying about it though. It's not a horrible taste.

Q: When a guy eats a girl out, is it supposed to be more pleasure for the girl, or the guy?

The girl, but I know lots of guys who get some kind of pleasure out of it also.

Q: i need to do something. my life is going down the drain i need to self harm. i cant cut myself, it hurts too mcuh and i cant puke;. i dont want to hear that self-harm isnt the way. i dont care. does anyone out there self harm anyother way? any ideas?? it will make me feel better.

Well first of all cutting and puking isn't going to solve any of your problems. Either is getting on here asking strangers how to hurt yourself - to make yourself feel better? Self harm isnt the way to go. I used to be a cutter, and it deffinetly didn't solve anything..it made things worse. Get to the root of your problems that are making you feel sucky and go do something that makes you happy. Don't hurt yourself!

Q: I dont want to do it but can you have sex when you havent even started your period or will it hurt more or what.?

thanx :]

Yes you can have sex if you haven't started your period yet, and no it won't make it hurt more nor be any different if you did start your period.

Ps. you can still get pregnant even if you havent started your period.

-Mel.

Q: Hi i'm 16/f about 125 lbs. I'm in alright shape. I'm not super super skinny but i'm not fat... lets say average. But my legs are kinda chunky and i've just been noticing it over the last couple months and with summer comimg i dont want ot be showing off chunky legs.. I live like in the middle of no where basically so i cant really get to a fitness center. I have celluluse on my legs.. not sure how to spell it and its sick.. advice please!

Walking really helps tone up legs. so does bike riding and running. eating healthier should help also.

Q: i am 21/f. how every sister wants a younger sister to do hair and make up and just girl stuff with. my little sister is so different. i miss her when we were little. shes just such a gloomy and dark person now. i moved out and i live far away right when i turned 18. our family was always just so bad and mean. shes not old enough to move out shes 13. our mom wont let her even go stay with me fo a week end or even come see me i have to go there. it takes over an hour to drive there. we hate our mom shes even harder on my little sister than she was on me. i feel so sorry for her. i dont know what to do. she hates our mom...she wears dark clothes has a dark personality and wears dark and alot of makeup but when i wanted to do makeup for her she was just no... no... no... no... no... no... no. god shes so depressed. shes not girly anymore at all shes worse than anyone. shes so deppressed now and shes so sneaky now. i cant listen to her music,see who shes talking to,see her room,meet her friends,see her friends list on her phone. shes wanting death soon shes driving mee so crazy ill be wanting death. she denys everything. our mom gets on her about everything and she wont listen, well neither will my mom or my sister. she wont let her wear what she likes or talk to or listen to what she wants, although she does anyway i knew she would i would too our mom wont let her do squat,god. how do i help my sister, by just me and my sister or me and our mom, anything? although our mom wont listen. what do i do to help with any of this?

I understand how you feel. You just gotta let her do her own thing and figure out who she is.. Lots of girls go through phases and stuff like this. If it continues for a longgg time try talking to her about it or write a letter and slip it in her room so she HAS to read it and understand how you feel.

Hope I Helped.

Q: I'm a vegetarian while the rest of my family eats meat. I need some different recipes for things I can make, but I'm trying to cut down on carbs. Can anyone help me?

Sorry that I can't give you any recipies.. But garden burgers and boca burgers are the best ever.

Q: Does anyone know how to send a comment to a bunch of people without going to each of their individual pages? Thanks ♥

you can't, sorry! Post a bulletin to show everyone what you wanna say.

Q: ok so i like this one guy
and when i talk to him online and on the phone and stuff
hes always so cute and stuff
hes like i wanna cuddle with you
or give kisses
or like whenever i talk to you i cant stop smiling
and he gets speechless when he talks to me
and then he says i love you
but idk if he just saying that to lead me on?
or just a flirty kind of way?
or a liking kind of way?
because before we got like this he said he likes this other girl
and i asked him about her hte other day and hes like yeah i still like her but she likes someone else
so im like oh?
and then one day i asked him what he was doing and hes like nothing on my trampoline with some girls
and he was kinda being an ass
so i really dont know whta to do!!!
help!

Sounds like a typical guy. He apparently has feelings for you and is being an ass and talking about other girls to get you jealous.

Q: Jeanette is this girl i rly like and she likes me too because she has told me, but we havnt gotten around to goin newhere or nething... so how should i ask her to go to like the movies or somthin? I asked her b4 and she couldnt go...

Yes, you should ask her to go on a date with you, and if things are going well on the date you should ask her out.

Good luck :]

Q: 16/f.

Okay, straight to the point.. So, I had sex when I was like 14.. and well, the guy and I broke up and like 10 months. That's another story but anyways, he never popped me. Well, this guy that I've known since I was 10, well we've been friends with benefits for soo long, and just recently we started having sex. Well, we've done it twice now, and well, the first time I didn't bleed, and I didn't bleed with my ex either. Well, this time I did, so did I just get popped tonight?

thanks :)

This is gonna be short but sweet - Yes, since you bled, you deffinetly got 'popped'.

:]

Q: This year, I almost failed because my school apparently can't hire too many good teachers. Plus, I cried half of the year because people were always mean to me. Yesterday my mom said that I could be homeschool next year if I wanted to just for a year. I can still see my friends and have them over and stuff, so should I try it for a year or stay in a public school?

It wouldn't hurt to be homeschooled, but it wouldnt hurt to try public school again next year. You might just get bored with staying home all the time!

Q: me and my boyfriend live far away, and I won't see him to later this summer. He always asks for me to talk dirty to him, which I've done before but sometimes I feel like he's going to get bored with it. Are there any ideas anyone could give me? Thanks.

If you don't have a problem having phone sex with him then you should totally do it. If he gets bored with it, ask him what he expects and if things arent good enough for him then he's not worth it.

Hope I Helped,
Mel.

Q: There is this guy who I am absolutely in love with. The problem is, we are "just friends". I really want him to notice me, but I don't think he will ever see me as more than a friend. HE thinks I'm really funny, really smart, and nice. I want him to notice me really really bad. And if your going to tell me its "just a phase" or to "get over it" don't respond to this. CAuse i love this boy.