Member Since: December 5, 2015
Answers: 7
Last Update: October 2, 2023
Visitors: 1259
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I've been with him for almost 3 years now, 1st year was amazing 2nd year was full of break-ups and 3rd party was involved, he cheated on me, but somehow we overcome the issue and decided to continue and we are still working on the relationship, sometimes i feel alone, i can't seem to find him all in, anyway we travelled so many countries and finally last month we went to Peru, his hometown where we stayed with his family for 2 weeks and to be honest it was so great.
2 days ago we were out with some friends, and somehow the commitment issue was on the table and everyone was just talking about how good/bad is the marriage and how happiness and commitment has nothing to do with each other, somehow i got the idea that he's not ready to take a step, next day i confronted him, and his answer was " we are not ready yet, and i like everything the way it is now" i said whatever was in my mind and heart, in return i didn't receive much of answers .
I didn't want any proposal, just wanted to know it's going somewhere, and i made that clear to him. I don't know what to do or what to think, im not the kind of a person who gives up easily specially in relationships, i go till the end. But giving the circumstances i can see that i need to let him go that's my logic tells me, but letting go something that i put lots of effort and i invested in him, in the relationship, it's just hard to walk away.
I need second opinion, or anything that you think can help me with the situation.
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It sounds to me like you already know what you need to do. I was in a bad relationship for 20 years and I stayed because like you I felt I'd invested to much time. He would lie by omission and visit with other females regularly. I also believed my next relationship would be the same way so I figured at least I already knew him. I was miserable, hurt, insecure, and angry. I finally left and felt hope again. Don't beat yourself up for not having the strength to leave now. Sometimes it takes time. Always wondering if he's cheating is no way to live.
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The charge is a check fraud charge and it is a six month sentence. My daughter she seems to be handling it fine. I told her right away about it and she reacted pretty calmly. I told her mom did the wrong thing and is rightfully serving her punishment. They have a good relationship. The main problem I have is she will see her mom in a jail jumpsuit and see guards and other inmates that could be intimidating. Is that ok for a 15 year old to see? Actually my daughter does not seem scared but instead seems excited and enthusiastic to visit. This is strange to me. Do you find this normal? My daughter seems to find the idea of her mom having to wearing a uniform, sharing a room funny.
Interestingly I talked to a guard and the guard said your daughter won’t find it scary or depressing since her mom won’t be gone too long and it’s for a white collar crime. She’ll find it interesting instead. The guard said relax and basically treat it as a field trip in a way (link)
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If she was a toddler and wasn't able to understand that she couldn't touch or hug her mom then I would say bad idea. She understands everything going on and it's an important learning experience. I was in jail and my mom brought my son to visit me and he went crazy hitting the window trying to touch me. It was worse when they had to leave and I couldn't leave. God decided I needed to live a better life and I'm glad to report I haven't been in jail for over a decade.
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My 13 year old son is stronger than my 34 year old boyfriend and can beat him wrestling. He is not that big, weighs about 110lb and my boyfriend around 150lb and taller, but my son does train in wrestling, does crossfit, and safe strength training. My bf worksout with light weight, does yoga,and runs. Could be my son has more lean muscle mass and training, but he seems to also overpower my boyfriend. Center of gravity and aggression I guess has a lot to do with it. I was still a little shocked he easily handled a grown man. I was even able to pin him down in wrestling before and I'm just 5'6 and 122 lbs.
Is this normal for a grown man? i don't really care if he isn't good at wrestling or strong, but curious. (link)
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Some people are just not aggresive and have no desire to be. Yoi can never underestimate people like that though. Adrenalin in an emergency situation can create unexplainable strength. It's not really a big deal unless you make it a big deal. It seems to bother you or you wouldn't be asking for advice.
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I need to know if im a bad person. I was recently broken up with due to something i did months ago. It was wrong and i should have been honest and not waited this long. When i was fresh into my new relationship i had a best friend. we had unfortunately dated thus my boyfriend did not feel i should be communicating with an ex. i dropped him from my life. social media, text, from hanging out. everything. just so my now ex would be OK. I accidentally forgot to delete him off of snapchat and one day he snapped me. i freaked out because i forgot i had not deleted him and i acted shady. i said it was someone else and would not show my now ex boyfriend. i panicked and deleted the app... after a week or two of begging he took me back. we broke up again 3 months ago due to how bad our relationship was progressing. we had moved in but we weren't happy and fought a lot. after we moved out and broke up i was devastated to see him partying and being happy as can be...so i downloaded snapchat again. i didn't tell him. i forgot and frankly i was scared he would judge me for it and leave again . these past 3 months we mended that relationship and everything was going so wonderful until 4 days ago he heard the snap notification. he freaked out and accused me of lying and cheating. i showed him it was another friend who was a girl but im not going to lie i freaked out remembering i had snapchat. i looked shady again even though i have not talked to any guys waiting for him to ask me to be his girlfriend again. now he has blocked me and is calling me a whore. am i so bad i was worth blocking and letting go like that? i need to know in order to not beg him to take me back anymore and just let him be. (link)
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Why do you want a person that treats you like that? I guess the way he treats you seems okay but he sounds mentally abusive. You sound like you are the kind of partner 'they' seek out. You believe what he says and its not true. He knows you're going to beg him to come back after you did nothing wrong. It's definitely time to move on. Its okay to be alone. Focus on something that will keep your mind off relationships. Rescue an animal and that animal will love you unconditionally forever.
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My boyfriend of over a year just informed me that he cheated on me three times about six months ago. And my trust for him is just about gone, but I don’t know if I should go or stay. But he’s said he’s changed since then. I’m just not sure what to do??? - Female, 15. (link)
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This is pretty simple. One time is a mistake. Three times is who he is - a cheater. I wouldn't believe anything he says. Three times? Six months ago? Who even knows. Right now you need to separate from him and work on why you think you deserve this kind of treatment. I've gone through the same thing and understand it's difficult but once you are on the outside looking in you'll wonder why you couldn't see it.
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My best friends(2) and I recently had a fight. We've made up since then but only because I said sorry. They always left me out and never really did anything even after I told them multiple times to help me out. After I while I stopped associating with them. Then I decided to end this friendship cause I have severe depression, and they were once the only things that made me happy and kept me alive, and it hurt to see them as a duo, when we're really a trio. I told one of them, who also had depression, about the fact that I have depression too. When I brought it up,both of them started blaming me for it, and told me I should have come to them. When I said I did, and helped them recount it, they told me that 'I' should have taken it carefully and not just casually mention it. I was confused so the next day I apologized and told both of them that I had depression and my insecurities influenced my actions. Now, after a while, they have finally started treating me well after a long while. But only because one of them who is the 'dominator' of out group started treating me like a person.Sorry if it all looks confusing but I had to explain it shortly. Please help me out. I feel mixed emotions cause now they're actually including in me and not just in their own bubble. I needed help cause its been messing with my head a lot. (link)
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I put myself through the same torture and I am 51 years old. I hope you noticed that I wrote "I put myself through this torture". You and I are over thinkers. Also called running thoughts. I have to work at keeping my thoughts in a positive place. Exercise, prayer, and meditation all work miracles. I also put signs around my bed so it will be one of the first things I see. I am a quick forgetter. Another remedy when your feeling not good is to help someone else. It takes your mind off yourself and it creates positive self esteem AND THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF!
Good luck and don't give up!
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I'm a 17 year old female. When I was 13 I began dating this guy who was in my grade, we hit it off and fell in love. We dated for 3 years. We had taken about 2 breaks throughout the 3 years when stuff got rough but we really did care for each other. There were great times and bad times. I lost my virginity and such. Things had gotten pretty bad toward the end. The last time we broke up was over a semi-small fight and when he tried to reconcile I told him I wanted to work on things but while on a break to make things easier. He was upset and said he wanted it over. A couple weeks later he wanted to try again. I had been hurt so many times in the relationship towards the end that even when he begged for another chance I just couldn't. My family doesn't like him for hurting me. Then after a while I began talking to another guy and he's perfect we've been dating for 7 months, he deals with my crazyness, he has my same goals, is hard working and kind. The problem is, he's perfect and I feel like I don't have closure with the ex I dated for 3 years. It's really eating at me but I really almost love the new guy and he's everything I want. I wouldn't come for advice if it wasn't bothering me so much, I just need some new perspectives. (link)
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First, no one is perfect in a relationship. In the beginning we are usually on our best behavior giving the illusion of perfection. The fact that your ex is your "first" is most likely why you feel confused. As females our emotional connection to our "first" is more intense. You are still a teenager and haven't even started experiencing lifes ups and downs. "This too shall pass"
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