Member Since: March 12, 2009
Answers: 1
Last Update: March 12, 2009
Visitors: 535
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Last Labor Day, we allowed our 11-year-old son “Brian” to spend the long weekend at the fishing cabin of his best friend Logan; we had our doubts about this, since Logan's mom was alwys kind of a flakey neighbor, but Logan’s family was then moving out-of-state, so this was the last chance the boys would have to spend time together. Brian had a wonderful time. Flash forward six months: I receive a belated holiday letter from Logan’s mom, explaining that she was finally getting organized after their move, and was enclosing a disc of photos taken during Brian’s weekend at the cabin. Most of the pictures are innocuous: the kids climbing trees, toasting marshmallows around the campfire, etc. But there are also a dozen photos of Brian and Logan completely naked, playing in the river and on the beach. These pictures leave nothing to the imagination--you can tell who is circumcised and who is not in every shot. Logan’s younger sister is in a couple of the photos as well.
When we asked Brian, he acknowledged that the kids went skinny dipping whenever they went to the river, and said that Logan’s mother had an album which had lots of naked photos of Logan, and so it all seemed okay at the time. We had no idea when we allowed Brian to go that Logan’s mother would be photographing him in the buff. I am furious with this woman, and I want these pictures deleted before they wind up on the internet, but I don’t know what to do. Our lawyer says that in our state such photos are not illegal if they are not sexual in nature, and the best she could do is write to Logan‘s mother and ask her to erase any photos of Brian. My husband says we shouldn't antoganize her, since there is no way we could know if she actually erased the pictures, and we should just chalk it up to experience. We also don’t know what to do with the disc: Brian wants it himself, and says the disc was of his trip, and was sent to him (the envelope was addressed to me). I’m afraid if he keeps it, his sister may get hold of it and show the pictures at school, as she has been teasing him she will do. Any ideas on what to do?
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Hmmm....I know this is almost a year after the fact but I did just happen to run across this. I am curious as to what you finally decided to do.
Anyway, I understand why you are upset. Logan's parents certainly breached your trust. At a minimum, they should have informed you when they invited Brian on the trip that they condone/approve/encourage their kids to skinny dip and that they photograph them.
This may not have been the first time that he and Logan did this. But, regardless, they setup a potentially very ackward situation for your son.
At any rate, I think I would hold the unedited disk until Brian is of an age that he could make an informed decision as to what to do with it. If he wants to look at the nude pics of himself, then do it with him. But, I think he is too young to have ownership of it.
There is nothing wrong with what he did. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with photographing the vacation either, including his beach shots. But, the parents should have fully explained this to you before they even left for the trip.
You are correct in that it is a lesson learned. As silly as it may sound, when packing your kids up for a trip they are going on with others, don't hesitate to ask the question - do they need a swimsuit. Brian apparently enjoyed the trip and the experience so he may likely want to continue his suitless swimming. That may be a conversation you now have to have with his friends parents.
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