Member Since: February 8, 2008
Answers: 2
Last Update: February 16, 2009
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Cux
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Okay so basically two weeks ago, I met these two Russian guys in the computer lab in the basement of my dorm at college. We just started talking and stuff for an hour or so and eventually they asked me if I wanted to go clubbing with them downtown and I was like "okay" and one of them gave me his name (A) and then told me to add him on Facebook. So I added him on Facebook. I ran into the other guy (V) and he was like we'll keep in touch about activities. Then on Friday A leaves me a message on Facebook and asks me if I am ready to join them tonight and I say that I can't because I was going to see a movie with my friends that day so that was that. Then, I messaged A again and he said he would let me know about his activities. We eventually chatted on Facebook on Friday and agreed to meet at this restaurant/bar near my college. He was bringing his friends, and I said I'd bring my friends. So my friends and I went to the restuarant/bar and apparently they were doing full ID checks so you had to be over 21 that night to get in. I told him that, and he was like, "how could you guys not know that you need IDS to get into the bar?" and that was not the case at all! I know that you need ID to get into a bar, I'm not stupid, but since I had been there before I didn't think it would be a problem--plus, it's a restaurant too! He told me that maybe he could get me in but not my friends so I was like "okay" but then I was upset because I didn't want to ditch my friends. So we were all like whatever and went to a party at the student center that was fun. You'd think I'd be okay by now but I feel so awful. Should I have called him and let him know that I wasn't coming? Did I mess up/overreact? I left him a message on his Facebook apologizing for not showing up and he hasn't responded yet---then again, I sent it yesterday so I guess it's not a big deal that he hasn't responded yet. But is it crazy that I still want to hang with him? I can't tell if he was wrong or if I was wrong and it's driving me crazy! And do you think he likes me or just wanted to hang with me? I really don't know! :( (link)
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Okay it's all good---we ran into each other today and he was totally cool, it was great! :)
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Okay so basically here's the deal: I feel torn between two groups of friends that were once part of one big group. I will give them fake names because if they go anonymous you will all get confused. So one group consists of Lily and Nathalie, and the other group consists of Erica, Mary, Leslie, Yolanda, Dana, Mindy, and Milly. Some people in the Erica group are upset with Nathalie because she has a big attitude problem and complains a lot, and just takes a lot of things too personally or sees too much, to the point where she brings drama all the time. Yesterday, we were in the lobby of Mary's building and she and Erica asked me to give them "juicy gossip," meaning they wanted to know what Nathalie says about them. So I told them about how Nathalie felt like their group was separating themselves from me, Nathalie, and Lily, mainly because she wants our group of around 8 people or so to be together all the time but it just can't work out that way. My main problem is that although I agree Nathalie can be a pain, they're not very fair either. Yes, Nathalie says stuff about them particularly Mary, behind their backs, but are they being any better? I feel like they used me to get information, that they invited me to the picnic to be nice to me so that they could force me to spill information. I feel like they perceive me as a dull, lifeless person with no personality and no feelings and no opinions because I am very quiet, shy, and reserved around them---so they think this is how I always am. The truth is that I feel much closer and more comfortable with Nathalie and Lily despite Nathalie's attitude at times, and she can be nice too not always mean all the time. I don't feel as close to Erica, Mary, Leslie, Mindy---I consider them "friends" but not friends that I can trust with anything. I feel like such an idiot because I act like such a wimp, letting them manipulate me like that. I hate how everything looks at me like I'm nothing, like there's no use having me around at all. I hate it so much. Because the truth is that I am a great person who has so many aspirations, dreams, and interests, who cares about everyone around her.
And the other conflict was that Mindy and Leslie questioned how I could possibly be best friends with this girl named Ariana because, in their eyes, we don't do "best friend" things. Yes, I admit that we don't hang out 24/7, but we are best friends. She's my best friend because I don't have to hide and be shy and reserved with her, because she would never manipulate me in the way that they do. I am angry that they had the nerve to insult our friendship like that, wouldn't you be? What right do they have to question? They don't know anything about our friendship, and they don't see a lot of things...do I ever question their friendship? High school is over, and I am heading to college this fall. And you know what? I am ecstatic to meet new people, because these people have been driving me crazy and using me and being very disrespectful towards me. I doubt that I will keep in touch with most of them because of how they have treated me throughout this school year, and particularly, in Mary's lobby.
I don't like to have people hating me, but I don't like that they have hurt me this way. Should I talk to them about how I feel, or should I just keep it all inside and let them win, as usual?
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Just to add on...high school is over now and most of them are going away, is there any point in bringing on the drama? But then again, I don't want to just forgive and forget like that if it really bugs me...
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