Member Since: May 30, 2007
Answers: 2
Last Update: September 12, 2007
Visitors: 502
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Im so confused, i used to love someone
i thought i loved them alot and then we broke up , thats it we just stopped talking, then i went out with another guy, i didnt think i liked him as much, but now i think were at the verge of breaking up , not talking or anything, and now i realize i love him too but i dont know how i should not lose the relationship and i need help because i dont want to break up with him (link)
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What, you need to do is try to talk to him and explain to him whats going on.
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i cant take it at all anymore im dead serious. i cant go through with life. im going crazy over it. i hate it more than ever. ive always been depressed and suicidal but now before seems like nothing compared. it seems like i just hit rock bottom. now theres been more death and i think im next. i think ill die young. im always thinking death. my death and others' death. my life is music im always listening to it and it seems to always be about death. now its summer so im reading and the books seem to be about all death. i do take it as a sign. but AM i next. im usually doing something wrong and always in trouble for something usually how i dress and my friends and music and how im depressed. i always wear black and am about 85% of the time depressed. the other 15% is when im out of my house and with my friends. my parents always fight then they fight with me and they wont shut the fuck up long enough to let me talk. i totally lost my best friend now because of our love but now as usuall it turned to hate. deep dark hate. hes dead to me now. but i miss him as my best friend. at least a friend. my other friends have been through alot 2 of the 4 were abused 1 other is in a divorce other idk whats even wrong. but through all that they say im the worst. but i try to hide it around them. then at school i have 11 deep enemies. but thank god its summer in a way. but now im home and fighting even more. their against most, almost everything i say dress act or do. they dont understand me and have no idea what i go through. wherever i go im always in trouble or wrong or hated by someone. no one understands me, well my friends do kinda. no adults like me. i look normal but wear black wtf so what. no peircing hair dye or tattoos which i will get right away once i move out or die. i want to go to heaven but if i kill myself i wont. and everybody says im going straight down to hell. they say all that will happen to the devil. is it so bad i want to go to heaven just to be with my family friends and cousins everyone died who cared for me. now i wana go be with them. i wana live the life i never had. im always in trouble and in my room so i write peoms books a journal anything. i told my mom i wanted a job in photography she laughs at me. she thinks its so i could leave state...well that to. its my passion. and since im always wrong for the most retarded things the record in 24 hours is 34 sad...i no. when i realized that i lost it i was gona run away and die. i hate my life theirs nothing good in it. only hate yelling death and depression. how can i go to heaven to be with the ones i love? how do i get over this and what do i do now? i dont know i might be back for the answers but i might be above. i dono whats wrong with me. was i just a waste of space? will i ever end up with them in heaven? has anyone realized i was even here, will i be forgoten in a day, did u ever know i was here,...doubt it.what do i do. NO phsyciatrist or therepist whatever,NO. (link)
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I can understand what you are going through. But killing your self isnt going to solve things it will just make it worst. And I don't want to see that happen to you. You seem to be a very smart girl. Taking your self down this route would not help you at all. You need to see if you can find another place to live. Please drop me a messege I want to help you but killing your self is not the answer. You have to look at it this way people are going to put you down. But you got to stay up. And right now you might be thinking oh he dosent no crap. Well truth is i do. I always get depressed not been sucidial but being depressed you need to understand we got one life, and that one life is right here. We got one chance don't end it early. Just turn on your news and you can whats going on already. pLease drop me a email I can give you my number you can call me please!
Your 13 years old you still have a long way.
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