Gender: Female
Location: Washington
Age: 17
Member Since: February 15, 2009
Answers: 2
Last Update: February 15, 2009
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14/f
How do I be more confident with myself? I have low self-esteem and I sometimes think I'm one of the ugliest girls in the world. Deep down I know I'm not. I mean, I've gotten plenty of compliments from guys and other people. Its just I'm shy, not really shy but I am shy. If I'm with my friends I can be really loud but when I'm not with people I know or talk to they think I'm shy and that leads to alot of people not wanting to talk to me because they will think I won't talk back. When they do talk I answer but with a normal answer like yes or no. I can never think of anything else to say. I know I'm gonna get something like, "speak up more in class and be open or whatever" I've tried, plenty of times. What should I do? I mean my friends aren't always gonna be there and I'm gonna need to make more. I have and I'm surprised at how many friends I have now but what should I do? Thanks so much for any help! (link)
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17/F
Yeah I used to have a real problem with being quiet when I was younger too. I'm still quiet and standoffish to some people, it depends on who it is and how I'm feeling.
What helps is that you can get involved in a club or something that makes you talk to other people. Maybe you could be a ticket cashier at a school Basketball game or something like that. I used to be very depressed me freshman year when I was fourteen for a couple of reasons, and I felt very lonely. But I started to open up and my confidence has grown a whole bunch since then. LOL, but let's not get crazy and say that I like to speak in front of groups of people, because I sure as heck don't. Still, being quiet is good soemtimes....People will think you're more mature if you know when to be quiet. I'm a black girl that went from a white school and started going to a black school last year. I was QUIET for like a month, and then I started talking a lot more comfortably after I got to know my surroundings. It's annoying when there's a lot of loud little girls around you, and they're very immature. I've been told that I'm calm and collected, quiet sometimes but I'm fun to be around. I decided to be a manager for the boys' basketball team this year, and it's been a great experience. It's made me meet and talk to more people almost every day.
ERm, but yeah, I hope my advice has helped you. I'm sure as you get older you'll get more confidence as well. Just try to be more easygoing and smile a lot when others are around. You don't even have to talk a whole lot; as long as you at least look welcoming to talk to, people will talk to you more. And try to get involved in things that will make you talk to other people, different kinds of people.
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13/F
Ughh boys... Here's the thing, I am going to try to explain my very cobfusing relationship with Dave in just a few sentences. He likes me (of this I am almost 99% sure) and I like him ALOT. It sounds simple, and it should be, but its not... It started out as friendship, I REALLY opened up to Dave and I learned sooo much about him, and we sort of became something. However, when school started, Dave's friends were really getting on him about it, calling us things like "the couple that isn't dating" and some people even asked me if I was dating him... And I guess this really bugged Dave, because he started ignoring me and it hurt alot. He would ignore me at school, at football games, at friends houses, and he even blocked me online. I confronted him about it and asked him to explain. He told me that his friends were giving him a ton of crap about "us being together" he said at first he tried to ignore it because he really liked me but he just couldn't take it because he really didn't want a girlfriend at the moment. He said he was sorry and that he didn't care anymore, and things were back to normal. Well not normal because we both knew we liked eachother but we wouldnt do anything about it, but it was normal for us. At spread out times we would go for a bit where he would ignore me, but I just never brought it up because it only lasted a few days and I didn't want to appear obsessed (even though I was). Then it would go back to what we called normal (talking 24/7 and walking to class together and hanging out during lunch and going to eachother games etc..) I
couldn't understand that we acted like a couple, but he claimed he didn't want a girlfriend... I just never questioned it. Oh and btw, I don't think he was avoiding claiming us as a couple to avoid being "tied down" or anything like that, he isn't that kind of boy, haha trust me. He has never had a girlfriend before and I think the reason he is refraining is because we are still so young and he may b moving at the end of the year (but that is still so far away...) anyway, at the moment we are in kind of in between "ignore you" and "pretty much together". And I am really just starting to think "what's the point?" all this is doing is hurting me and I don't want to do it anymore. But the thing is... I don't think I CAN just forget about it, if it hurts this much when he ignores me for a few days, I don't even want to think about how painful it would be if I had to let him go... I dont think I can. I'm just so confused!!! Its literally driving me nuts!!! I am CONSTANTLY thinking about him, and everytime I am angry with him he has this uncanny ability to make me adore him all over again, and he isn't even trying to!!! I WANT to forget about him because its hurts to be in the kind of relationship we are in, but I can't because I like him so much!! I know its not healthy and I know he doesn't want a girlfriend but I can't help thinking that maybe someday he will... I can't stop myself from believing we will finally become a real something, and not just a "something" or that we will sometime soon be together instead of "being together". And what if I don't want to give up, and I don't know what I want at all? I don't know what to do. I know we won't be something (or will we???) but how am I going to give it all up? I love being close to him, and although our relationship is painful... I don't think I would ever be able to handle just being friends or anything like that. Please help me, I really don't know what to do... (link)
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17/F
Ugh, I know exactly how you feel...
I'm 17 years old and dealing with a 18 year old guy I've known for a year and he's one of my best friends.
I just can't seem to give him up. The only difference between my situation and mine is that we never went through the ignoring stage that you and your boy have gone through...I'm sorry you have to go through that...It's heartbreaking.
There's always this feeling that, "Oh well if I wait a little longer, or spend more time with him he's sure to come around and finally want a relationship with me..." Most of my guy friends (I have a lot of guy friends for some reason) are telling me to give up on him, but I just have this feeling in my gut that something's gonna happen...Or is it? A painful thought process that never ends. Will something happen or will it not?
I've already talked to him about everything and it always ends up as like, "I don't know, or I haven't really thought about it." But he's told me he likes me and he's attracted to me. Even when I was alone over his house, watching a movie with him, on his bed, laying on his shoulder and talking about it, it still seemed kinda hopeless. I told him that I didn't want to do anything with him that would make me like him more, because I didn't want him to be taking advantage of me..Our feelings not being the same and we weren't talking as more than friends. So we didn't kiss or anything, although he kept being flirty and asking me to go and take a shower with him. Lol, he really is a stupid confusing boy that I've liked so much and I feel myself giving up on him. It's kind of a good feeling but also a defeated feeling too.
My mother said that if we have the tension between us that she thinks that we do, then maybe as I start to fall away from him, he'll realize what's going on and be like, "Wait wait! Come back!" But if that doesn't happen, either way you're moving on, and there will be someone else(even though for such a long time I felt he was the one for me). And it doesn't help that one of my guy friends is still always saying, "He's just acting up...You guys are gonna sort out everything by the end of the year and you're gonna get married one day." Also, even if things don't turn out the way I want them to with him, I'm glad he's around and I'm glad I had this experience because I'm sure it'll benefit me in the future.
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