kellieknows's advice column

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Q: I can't see ghosts at least not currently but I'm nervous. NY great grandmother (who has passed away maybe a year ago or more) I guess used to see ghosts. My dad told me this and my dad told me she would tell him that they would sit on her bed next to her and watched her. She moved downstairs and they followed her there. The thing that freaked me out the most was that my dad said he fully believed her with no doubt. They were always very close. But that weirded me out because the job that he has well you wouldn't think he would be into all that stuff. I'm just nervous they might be attracted to me. I know it's been a while and I try to ignore every little thing so nothing does happen but I do hear footsteps and stuff but I won't get into too much detail. My dad says that we have harmless spirits in our house and when I was real little I can almost swear I saw a mans figure in front if my doorway. But I probably imagined that. I'm just nervous. Idk how old she was when she started seeing them and I think I'm gonna go ask my dad right now but I'm just nervous! Plus I got a new puppy and she will whine at nothing. But she is a puppy but if she continues to do that when she gets older I will be scared! Thanks!

A: Dear Seeing ghosts,
I am a firm believer in the things of the spiritual relm, that we can't, and aren't supposed to see. Sometimes our eyes, become open to various types of whatever they are;... Spirits, Gohsts, Demons??? I call them the E-Force. Question is? What to do about it if you do, or how to prevent it? This is what I do..(yes I have seen a creepy thing or two myself)I don't give the E-Force permission to mess with me. It's kinda like riding a horse. When the rider is scared of the horse, the horse senses the riders fear. The horse will do things to frighten the rider. I know from experience, that those darn horses like to take off on a spiratic sprint without my permission, they like to stop any old time to chew the grass, and refuse to budge, always without my permission. In other words, getting a kick out of messing with me. I was terrified! Not the same thing, but similar in getting a kick out of scaring you. If they can't scare you, it isn't any fun, so why do it at all. Go find someone else who they can scare. So don't worry about what you haven't even seen yet, and if you do see something? Ignore it, and get back to me, and take it from there. Oh, and don't talk about it unless you need to. We breathe a lot of negitivity to life with our words, and power of thought! So relax, and take comfort that your Dad doesn't have any problems, so good chance you won't either.

Q: Okay so I want to go on a mission trip to Africa through the program Global Expedition.

We're going to go to refugee camps, help do laundry, make mud houses, etc.

I REALLY want ot go but there are some problems (that my parents identified that I agree with but..):

I'm a huge germophobic.
Don't like bugs, dirty stuff.
I even freak out when the floor in our house isn't clean enough to my standards.
HATE public bathrooms.
I get sick really easily.
I have a compulsive to wash my hands freqquently.

I will go on the two week trip. i had a huge argument with my parents because I want to be a nurse in Hummanitarian Aid and africa is perfect to see what it could be like. And my dad agreed to let me go because he doesn't wnat me to go into hummanitarian aid and if going there for two weeks will change that, then so be it.
\In africa I will probablly not go to the bathroom where I think I will and there will be no clean water to take a shower.

They also think that I should get a job in the summer instead of spending lots of money helping out when I don't get any plagues, SOMETHING out of this (they don't think the rewards of helping people counts).

So now I'm wondeirng what do you guys think - should I go or not? All of this points to no I guess but i really want to go to Africa, I don't know why. Maybe it's because I want to get away from a place iwth spoiled kids and see real life. Or maybe it's because I want to get over my clean freakness and REALLY help. Or maybe it's because I really love Princess Diana and want to follow her footsteps.

There's a trip to Romania too to an orphanage but it starts at the same time. I could go to that one because I like kids but hey there's probably orphanages in Africa already AND defintiely kids so why not that?

Your opinion please!

A: Dear Africa Mission Trip,
I think this would be a wonderful experience for you, and a huge service to those in need! We often, don't think about the circumstances that others are enduring, and take for granted, what we've been truly blessed with. It would be such a gracious and generous thing to do, and to do it despite your discomforts, and phobias? I'm certain, it will be extremely rewarding for you! OK, so you have some valid con's, but your pro's outweigh them by far, in my opinion. Guess what though? You will survive the dirt, bugs, and whatever else, you find undesirable, but in the end? You will have made a difference, in the lives of people who really needed you!
You feel, this line of duty might be up your alley? Until you get your feet wet, and give it a try? You won't know if it is, or not? It would take a strong inner desire to help others to choose to make it a career. You may find it isn't for you, or maybe find an interest in something different, all together? Just keep on following your interests, till you find the right one. I believe you will ebark on a journey to independence, and on the path, to finding out what you are really made of! God Bless!

Q: I feel as if I've had a mental disorder my entire life because I never seem to have true emotions as often as a normal person should. I say hurtful things in my mind just to make myself cry and feel sad. I find myself wanting to feel sad or depressed. When my friends grandma was diagnosed with cancer I honestly didn't feel bad for her. everytime I open up to someone, I always regret it because I feel weak having to confide in them. I can feel happy, truly happy, but I have trouble feeling sad. what's wrong with me? I've felt this way as long as I can remember, I'm only 13.

A: Dear lack of emotions,
This is a very touchy subject, when dealing with mental health issues. Before, I answer your question? I want you to understand, that I am not a medical professional, and only giving my opinion. I am, not giving you a diagnosis. Now, what you are describing, matches symptoms, and case profiles, of people lacking a conscience. They don't have the ability to feel emotions, except, for emotions bringing them pleasure. They can not truly sympathize, or relate to what others normally feel, or feeling. Our conscience's primary function is helping us in distinguishing right, from wrong. For example; If I had an argument with someone, called them nasty names, and made them cry? My conscience, would cause me to start having feelings of remorse. I would feel guilty, for hurting someone, and making them cry. It would make me feel so lousy, urging me to apologize to the person, for what I had done. Someone without a conscience? Would not care about making someone cry, or feel moved to make amends for it. Though they lack ability to feel emotions, they adapt, and learn how to fake them. Acting them out 'on Que', at times when displays of emotion are common.
You musn't blame yourself for not being able to feel emotions, if you don't have them. It is not your fault, unless your causing problems to others. Essentially, it's your choice on how challenging this will be for you, and it's overall effect it will have in your life. I don't mean for you to be somebody your not, but just choosing to be mindful of others feelings, and how they are affected with what you say and do. You must load a conscience manually, instead of having it automatically fully loaded, would be a good way to put it. Then? I don't see why, you would have to volunteer this information about yourself to anyone? Unless you wanted to.
Every human being must strive to live life doing to others, as you would want them to do to you. Living life with integrity is a life with fewer bumpy roads we must travel! You should see a professional for an evaluation if it is causing negitivity in your life.
Take care.

Q: 18/f

Me and my ex-boyfriend broke up 3 months ago. We were together for 14 months... 17 if you include the 3 months. We were acting like we were practically together. We acted like a couple, just without the status. There was a pattern, where he would say that he is going to stop talking to me, and then a day or two later, he talks to me again. He says he doesn't want to do anything physical, and he's going to "draw the line." And the line disappears and it happens. And while all of this is happening, he says that he knows for a fact that he will never ever ask me to be his girlfriend again. Especially since he's starting to get busier with school, and he's now president of an organization at a university. He also mentions that he wants me to move on, and etc. I felt like it's just a pattern, even his friends noticed it. And I realized that I wanted to move on, soo badly, because what if one day he does wake up one day and moved on? And I'm still attached to him? I didn't want to feel even more crushed than before.

So today, when we were cuddling, he gave me a couple of kisses. And all the sudden, POOF! He said he's going to make things right, got up, got dressed, and said to me that I should save everything else for my next boyfriend. And I asked him what made him think like that all the sudden, he said he's been thinking about it everytime we cuddle, kiss, or etc. And that the reason why he was saying it like it was nothing, shows how much he thought about it. I was caught off guard, because he told me he loved me and missed me a couple of seconds before he said anything. I didn't really cry, because I was used to it. But yet, I was crushed on the inside... That feelings where you think it really is over, and what will I do if it is.

I noticed that I have no intention in meeting other guys, I tried. And none caught my attention. Some confessed they liked me, but I couldn't like them. I'm too caught up with my ex-boyfriend. He was gone for 3 weeks, and he was always in the back of my mind. I was missing him. And he realized that he missed me more than he expected, and came back again. He would come back when he notices that I'm moving on, and when he does, I give him that security he wants, and he does it all over again! I'm stupid for letting this happen, I'm stupid for letting this little hope get to me, thinking that maybe things will be different. Maybe, things will get better. Maybe, he will come back.

I'm sick of being paranoid, of worrying, of being scared. I'm tired of him doing all of this. But I feel like I'm slowly dying on the inside when he's not next to me. He's someone that I would want to keep in my life. It's one of those feelings, when you know that deep inside, you KNOW that both of you had a huge impact on each other... And there will always be some feelings left towards them. What am I supposed to do?

I can relate to what you are going through, and I know how painful it can be. I am experiencing something very similar, now. It is so hard, when you have such strong feelings of emotion, for the person who is hurting you. First, you are not stupid at all! Just in love with the wrong person. I can't say for sure, but it sounds, as if your guy already has someone else, and is feeling guilty when he is with you. Making statements that are endearing towards you, and then cancelling them out with ones that are contradicting, makes me think he's feeling remorseful about his actions. It is so amazing, with some caressing, and the right words, how men can make us woman, feel so desirable, and loved. Unfortunately, desire is just desire. It is not love. You see? Woman are creatures of emotion, where men are visual creatures. A man sees and desires, and generally speaking, that's all. Meaning, we are not on their minds again, until the thought to satisfy their sexual desire returns. This is the typical male, and of course, does not apply, to every man specifically. You wonder if he really does have feelings for you? First, ask yourself these questions, and I think, they will bring some clarity, to finding the answer. If the tables were tuned, and you were the one, doing the coming and going? What do you think you would be feeling for that person, at the time you were doing it? Would you do that, to someone that you cared for? Do you think, you would be able to repeatedly do the same thing, over, and over to him? I think, you need to take some time, and think about your answers to those questions. Then, let the realization of things sink in, hold your head high, and tell this guy to kick rocks! You deserve honesty, and respect. Nothing less! It is all a part of lifes learning experience. You learn how to and how not to treat others. You learn who and what you are about. So don't beat yourself up about anything, just recognize and learn from your mistakes. Don't keep going through the same thing in future relationships. Respect, and truth are the keys to ensure you of your success in your relationships. Never settle for less! You will get passed this, as will I, in time. Be strong!

bio

I am very understanding, and non-judgemental. People find it easy to relate to me, due to my own experiences, I guess. I am a great problom solver, and I firmly believe, that when there is a will, there is a way, and that everything happens for a reason! I enjoy helping others, and hope my words of advise will be helpful to you, in every way!