Member Since: October 27, 2010
Answers: 1
Last Update: October 27, 2010
Visitors: 638
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Last Labor Day, we allowed our 11-year-old son “Brian” to spend the long weekend at the fishing cabin of his best friend Logan; we had our doubts about this, since Logan's mom was alwys kind of a flakey neighbor, but Logan’s family was then moving out-of-state, so this was the last chance the boys would have to spend time together. Brian had a wonderful time. Flash forward six months: I receive a belated holiday letter from Logan’s mom, explaining that she was finally getting organized after their move, and was enclosing a disc of photos taken during Brian’s weekend at the cabin. Most of the pictures are innocuous: the kids climbing trees, toasting marshmallows around the campfire, etc. But there are also a dozen photos of Brian and Logan completely naked, playing in the river and on the beach. These pictures leave nothing to the imagination--you can tell who is circumcised and who is not in every shot. Logan’s younger sister is in a couple of the photos as well.
When we asked Brian, he acknowledged that the kids went skinny dipping whenever they went to the river, and said that Logan’s mother had an album which had lots of naked photos of Logan, and so it all seemed okay at the time. We had no idea when we allowed Brian to go that Logan’s mother would be photographing him in the buff. I am furious with this woman, and I want these pictures deleted before they wind up on the internet, but I don’t know what to do. Our lawyer says that in our state such photos are not illegal if they are not sexual in nature, and the best she could do is write to Logan‘s mother and ask her to erase any photos of Brian. My husband says we shouldn't antoganize her, since there is no way we could know if she actually erased the pictures, and we should just chalk it up to experience. We also don’t know what to do with the disc: Brian wants it himself, and says the disc was of his trip, and was sent to him (the envelope was addressed to me). I’m afraid if he keeps it, his sister may get hold of it and show the pictures at school, as she has been teasing him she will do. Any ideas on what to do?
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Maybe your son doesn't have some hangups you may have. Explain to him the possible consequences and possible dangers and help him choose wisely, freely, within a selected assortment. Maybe you can allow him to have the photos provided you keep them safe for him, but destroying them would seem like a fanatical invasion of his privacy & his own "rights" & treasured memories.
They are after all HIS memories, including of a time of wonderful innocence where being naked was okay...rather than the nastiness that almost everyone tends to make it out to be. Kids are robbed of THEIR innocence by the lack of innocence of many adults! YET,...they don't always understand some potential consequences.
Still,...it is likely a lot less of a problem than many parents may imagine. Yeah, they should have given you a heads up, but with some people, it isn't a big deal -- nudity is sometimes normal. Maybe your son seeing both genders nude and being seen nude...can be a good thing, in real innocence. -- Like not being so curious that it gets him into trouble later, privately.
IF....the situation were to get "out-of-hand" and his little nudie pics wind up seen by kids at school,...if you have done your responsibility,...that is something he would have to deal with as a consequence of his choice. HOWEVER,...if you have so little rule in your home that your daughter cannot be kept from "exposing" your son at school,...then YOU have a worse problem than your son. ;)
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