Member Since: May 4, 2006
Answers: 1
Last Update: May 4, 2006
Visitors: 339
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I don't know whats wrong with me. I might be depressed but I don't know. Well my dad died when I was 7 and my mom went blind (a lot of stuff happened but I don't want to say online...friends go here and stuff) so anyway. Lately everyting sets me off. I start to cry. Not just cry but hide under my blanket and half scream into my pillow. I used to cut myself a while back, but I stopped because all my friends didn't look at me the same way. My life is pretty messed up, but I've always been able to deal with it before. This one person said that I should talk to someone outside of my family, someone I trust. The thing is, I don't trust anyone so its hard to do that. So I have really kept all this in for like ever.... I have been having like panick attacks. I can't talk to a lot of people at once online, or I get angry and overwhelmed. I keep friends for a month, than I stop talking to them for a month and than the next month I talk to them again. I cry like every night. I don't want to talk to a counsler as everyone suggested because they get payed to listen to problems they don't really want too. Besides I don't cry in front of people. I have never cried in front of anybody except like maybe when I was like five. I feel so weird if I cry in public and people give me sympathy or w/e. I don't want sympathy. I don't want to talk to some stranger who just sits there and listens. Idk. I've been to one before right when my dad died and it didn't help at all. They released me after like two sessions saying I was a normal child. Even though I wasn't, I never talked during the sessions because like I said I just wasn't comfortable at all, and I don't feel like the counsler really wants to be there. There is a lot more stuff, I just don't really wanna type it all out. I know this is super long and hardly anyone is going to read it. But if you do, please help me. I don't know what to do anymore. (link)
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try and ask if you could have some one to talk to in a more relaxed place.i know therapists office are all uncomfortable.if you really dont want to talk to one.then keep a journal,it helps a bit so u dont keep things bottled up.i know how you feel about the whole sympathy thing.its like i dont want sympathy i just want some one to listen.i am sure if u talk to some one you trust or write it down it will help.also try painting and crafts that reflect your mood.
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