Member Since: June 17, 2011
Answers: 1
Last Update: June 17, 2011
Visitors: 995
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Hi I'm 17 and female. I recently got my first boyfriend, and he has made me feel so happy. He came at a time when I was really stressed and sad, and contemplating suicide. He pretty much saved me and no one knows it. But now that sad feeling is back, and its making me even more upset thinking that not even this great guy who I really love, and who really loves me, cant make me feel better about life and about myself. I just thought that after a life of neglect, having someone finally love me would make me happier, and it hasn't. Although my mood has really improved and that overwhelming sadness dissappeared for a little while, it came back to me yesterday, and I am feeling it right now. Its this strange, empty feeling that weighs me down. I just become so upset. Today I saw my boyfriend today and I was ok, still a bit sad though. I felt really disconnected from him and all our friends. And when I came home, I just felt like an idiot. I dont know why, but I just began to hate myself, I felt a horrible empty feeling, like I just wanted to die right at that moment. I hated myself for not being better to my boyfriend, for being sad at a time when I am supposed to be happy. The annoying thig is that I don't know if something is actually wrong with me, or if I am just PMSing ( it is that time of the month, and I usually get really sad because of the hormones :\ ). I have thought for a while that I might be bipolar, as I tend to have these really depressed stages, and then every now and then I am hyperactive and happy to the point that I disregard safety and don't really care about anything, like rules, or if I am annoying people, or if I might get myself into trouble.
Anyway, is it unusual for me to feel so sad when I should be feeling like Im on top of the world? Do you think there is something wrong with me? Were my expectations too high? (link)
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It sounds like you are suffering from depression. I'm not a doctor, so I can't diagnose whether or not it is bipolar, or depression, but I do suggest you speak to your family doctor, and tell him everything you said here. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, I suffer from it myself, but it is serious and should not be ignored or go untreated. Good luck to you, and please, if you feel the urge to harm yourself in anyway, call a suicide hotline, or even go to the nearest ER.
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