Member Since: June 21, 2009
Answers: 1
Last Update: June 21, 2009
Visitors: 315
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alright so heres my problem. I am a 15 year old girl who has never had a boyfriend. never had a kiss or even a guy tell me he likes me. becaues of this i now have little confidence. also this year when i entered high school all of my friends got gorgous. most of them have blonde hair and blue eyes, one of them is the prettiset girl in my grade. and when im with them i feel so down because i am not pretty at all. seriously i have brown hair and eyes and just a weird face. plz help. plz. if i dont figure this out soon im gonna go through high school resenting my friends and always wishing for something i didnt have(good looks) (link)
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Having once been a young man myself, i'm glad to have the chance to let you see what boys see.
Keep in mind that there are basically two types of men -- the "nice guy" and the "bad boy". How they got that way usually has a lot to do with what happened in their teen years.
The bad boy type is definitely interested in girls having good looks, and even better if you "put out". For the Bad Boy, it's all about him and what he wants. If you can't give him what he wants, he has no use for you. If you can give him what he wants, he'll take it until he's bored with it, then he moves onto something else.
The Nice Guy is also interested in good looks, but not at the expense of a pretty heart. To the Nice Guy, a pretty heart is far more important than a pretty face. The nice boy has got his eyes open for a girl with kindness, who respects herself, and is a down-home sensible girl. Even if she has a funny face. ;)
The bad boy is often pushy and domineering (hey, some girls just like that in a guy), but the nice guy often has a quiet confidence. The bad boy doesn't appreciate a girl's REAL beauty; the nice guy looks for ALL the ways she's beautiful. For the bad boy, it's about what the girl can give him. For the nice boy, it's about what he can do for her.
Remember too that nice boys your age often have just as little self-esteem and confidence as you might. Of course they're not going to approach you; they probably think they're not good-looking enough for you! A little kindness from you, however, can spark a healthy dose of self-confidence in a nice boy, enough to make him feel closer to you.
The teen years are tough because you, your friends, AND those of the opposite sex, nobody is sure what to do and where they belong in this world. Too often teens fall into the trap of comparing themselves to their peers as a measure of their beauty or their worth.
My advice: stay level-headed about relationships. At this young age, try to make as many male friends as possible. That's right -- if you like a guy for some reason, make conversation with him. But don't go in looking for a boyfriend; you might come off as being aggressive or desperate or maybe even a little slutty, depending on how you dress. Instead make him feel good about being himself. If he's interested in being a good friend for you, he'll make you feel good about being yourself. And often the best boyfriends were first your best friends.
Watch out though; some bad boys try to make themselves out to be nice guys. So TAKE LOTS OF TIME. Don't rush in to anything; if a boy pressures you to do something you know deep-down is wrong, follow you're instinct and let him know you don't think you and he can be friends. There are lots of guys out there who appreciate a girl who can be a kind friend.
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