Member Since: May 2, 2015
Answers: 2
Last Update: May 2, 2015
Visitors: 313
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I've been with my fiance for two years. We met when I was 17, I'm 20 now and he's 23. I love him a lot and he's my bestfriend as well but I don't really see us being together forever. In fact I don't even see us getting married...ever.
I feel like right now we both belong together because we're both still young. I'm in college and working part time. I will graduate in 2-3 years and in my field it will be very easy to find a good-high paying job. He's at the start of what might be an okay career path as an assistant manager of a store ( and he's been told he'll be a manager in a year or so) but that doesn't really impress me.
He's fine with a middle class to upper middle class life but I'm really not. I'm okay with it right now as I'm still young but when I'm 30 I want to be at the start of living an upper-class life and only move up from there. I want the kind of life where I can afford a luxury vehicle like a Tesla, nice house, and be able buy designer labels when and where I'd like. I'm not talking super rich but I'd like to at least be able to afford those things.
I don't really see him ever having those things as he doesn't think they're important (I obviously do). I also want a big beautiful wedding and I know he's never going to be able to provide that for me and I'm not willing to foot the entire cost. I'd rather be with somebody who can at least split the cost, you know. I'm also not willing to have a tiny cheap wedding. I want the disney princess glam wedding dress not something cheap from a thrift store. :( I want a husband who makes as much as I do or more and has more of the same opinions and tastes in life than my current fiance.
We have vastly different points of view on everything from our tastes in food to our major life goals and religious beliefs. Right now I'm okay with putting up with all that but I don't want to be with somebody who will never see eye to eye with me for my whole life.
Is it okay that I'm only with him for right now and I know it?
P.S.
I know this is trivial but honestly I also hate my engagement ring. It was like $700 but it's super tiny and I've always dreamed of showing off an engagement ring with a great big diamond in it (even if it's fake). I loved the one I have at first but now a year later I've realized what I really want and it's not this.
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It's actually not fair towards him. So I would say it's not ok. The longer you stay with him the more he sees you as a part of his life. Why not tell him the truth about how you see your future and how he according to your plans doesnt fit in. I think honesty is still the best way.
But honestly I thimk that you are being very materialistic. What makes you think that he can't make it upper class in future? Men value women that stood by them when they had nothing more than those that jump at them because of their financial status.
Go for love not money. As far as a man is educated, hard working and has dreams that he is chasing he can always make it.
I think you should just be honest with him and tell him how you truely feel and what you really desire but on no condition just stay with him for 'right now'
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Im dating a man now weve been dating fir two months. He got married when he was 23 and got one daughter. Last 2013 he got another son with different women but they got separted now the custody if the child is with him. his open to me with regards to his family and child . Though our dating still remain secret ..the two of us only know were dating . im still single his older than me about 10 years older shoul i continue to date him? (link)
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Hey there! I think you should think about if the love you have for him is worth going through the stress. You will have to bear in mind that he has a wife and his parents will most certainly not welcome you with open arms. Also his kids would see you as an intruder. The fact that he started a relationship with you while he is married.. what makes you think that same thing won't happen when in future you two get married? Why not looking for a man that will be fully for you.. that at least isnt married?
But if you are very sure of him maybe after a while of dating him then let him show you that he is serious with you by announcing your presence in his life.
All in all its your decision to make, to listen to your heart but also your brain and make sure he isn't just taking advantage of you.
Hope my advice helped *peace*
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