Member Since: August 5, 2014
Answers: 2
Last Update: August 19, 2014
Visitors: 898
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So I had this "best friend" for 11 years. All in all I don't think she's a bad person but over the years it seemed to me like she was just using me, only talking to me when she needed help or advice. I had/have an eating disorder and when she found out, she ignored me because she thought I was being complicated. I then lied to her that I'm good again,basically hiding my problems. The thing is that her boyfriend asked me if she was cheating on him and I told him yes (because she was). It just felt like the right thing to do because she was being horrible to him most of the time, not allowing him to do anything, basically putting him on a leash. When she found out I told him she said that our friendship is over. I don't know how I should feel, I mean she never really felt like a true friend anyways. Otherwise I'm still kind of sad about this because she was the only person I knew for this long and grew up with. I know that telling her boyfriend maybe wasn't quite the right thing but I just felt sorry for him and I didn't want him living a lie. How can I get over this? I'm pretty sure our friendship is over. Should I be sad about it? My boyfriend keeps telling me that I didn't really lose much because she was never acting like a good friend anyways. I'm also really hurt because in the end she made it seem like I'm the horrible person, even though I was always there for her, even though she only talked to me when she needed me. I helped her through so many bad things in her life, I used to talk to her for hours on the phone, just to make her feel better. And now she's the one saying that she can't be friends with someone like me. I'm just so angry right now.. (link)
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Okay so this is four days later I think, and I don't really know how you're holding up but, my suggestion is, don't even waste brain cells thinking about your ex best friend. I've had two "best friends" like that over the past couple of years. It is hard of course to lose a person, no matter how mean he/she was but as time goes on, you slowly begin to realize maybe you confessing her cheating to her boyfriend was the final fate turn to help you head in a different direction to meet people who are actually worth it. Your boyfriend is right, if she was never your friend, then gurl, no. You may think about all the cute experiences you had together and all but at the end, friendships are like relationships. It's a two-way deal, she has to give and you have to give as well. She never gave back so she was never a friend. Also, the boyfriend had every right to know, every person who is cheated on has every right to know. When someone stops being your friend in an abrupt manner, it'll hurt a bit but eventually you'll figure out it was for the best! Hoped this helped a bit
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How do you stop yourself from loving someone ? :( like is it possible to love someone your not with your whole life ? (link)
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Love is a very strong emotion that cannot be demanded or denied easily. When you love someone, they basically become your everything and even though it feels like you'll never love anyone else, it is a possibility. Don't deny your feelings towards that person or else they'll most likely grow stronger. The way to stop loving someone is to distract yourself from thinking about him/her. For example read, workout, watch tv, whatever. It may take months but eventually you'll go a day thinking at least only once about that person. Then, when you're ready, talk to new people and maybe you'll even get a crush. Time changes everything. Don't be so hard on yourself!
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