ask LimePariah



read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators



My name is Lime Pariah. The first thing people usually ask me about is my name so I'll get that over with first. I was named after my great-grandfather, Lihmen Pariah. A very noble deed to name your child after one of your forefathers, except for when it rhymes with a part of the female anatomy that is usually associated with losing one's virginity. Yes even I, Lihmen Pariah, was teased relentlessly by my schoolmates. So I shortened my name to Lime. Ironically, my surname means outcast, which suited me rather well during those dreadful years. Oh the pain, the pain...

You may be wondering what qualifies me to answer life's most burdensome questions. Not a single thing. I have no qualifications. I am just an opinionated mofo who is never afraid to admit when I am right. You may not like me for this but that's OK. Most days you'll find that I occupy relatively good headspace so my suggestions may even come across as empathetic. Other days I might just call it as it is by stating the blunt truth as direct as it may be. Anyhow, fire away. Let the questions begin.


Lime Pariah

Gender: Male
Member Since: November 26, 2006
Answers: 4
Last Update: November 27, 2006
Visitors: 994

Main Categories:
Families
Love Life
Friendship
View All

Hey, i had sex earlier today an wen i got home i felt my right ball/testicle and it had a lum on it, small like the size of a black head, ya cant see it just feel ot through the sack and it hurts. Anybody know what it is??? thanks (link)
A lump on the testicle could be many things: a cyst, a varicocele, or even cancer. There is no way to know for sure without your doctor checking it. So do the right thing. Take care of the boys and make an appointment with your doctor ASAP. Testicular cancer has one of the highest cure rates (more than 95%) of all the cancers IF it is dealt with early. Good luck my friend.

Lime


Ok so I met this guy last week. He's a regular customer at work, he's very good looking, very nice and he asked me out to dinner.
Here's the problem: I can't understand a word he's saying. It was easy to sell him stuff because he would just buy everything I showed him and if he said anything, I'd judge his facial expressions and words and just laugh or or moan accordingly to what he conveyed.
This is where it gets stupid: He's from the United Kingdom. He speeks English but he just has a thick thick British accent that I can't understand. I had to keep saying "What?" when he asked me out and I feel bad, because it must have been pretty embarrasing for him. Usually, I just blame it on the music on the store but what do I do if he calls me on my cell or we're talking at dinner.
I am totally stumped as to what to do. It's not like I can tell him I can't understand what he's saying, I've had people say that to my parents and it's just insulting.
This thing seems to be doomed? Any ideas on what should I do? They should start giving courses in understanding accents. (link)
Communication is important in any relationship and not being able to understand your date does have its drawbacks. Assuming your British chap is worth your while, the more time you spend with him, the easier it will be for you to understand him. In the meantime, compliment him on his exotic sounding accent, but be honest with him. Tell him that it will take some time for you to get used to his accent and that he will need to be patient with you. If he really likes you he will understand. If he has a sense of humor, you may even get a few good laughs. On the other hand, if the guy turns out to be a dud, not understanding what he says may work in your favor.

Lime


Should I rat on her to the cops? (link)
Now why would you do a thing like that? Leave poor old granny alone and maybe one day she'll score you some.

Lime


first off, this may be long so i apologize but i hope people will help me outa bit.

we are both twenty years old.

i've been with my boyfriend for a little over four years. even though we broke up in february we still act like we're still together. basically, its like we're bf/gf without the label but it's like everyone including myself still consider us together anyway. kind of confusing, sorry. anyway, the problem between me and him is that even though we dont have the label that he feels that it's okay for him to talk to other girls. which i can understand at some extent.. however, i feel as though even if we dont have the label that he's my boyfriend and vice versa. if im the girl sleeping in his bed for weeks straight at a time, the girl he calls and texts every few hours when we aren't together just to ask what im doing, the girl who he takes out on dates on the one day out of the week he's not working, the girl who hangs out with his mom and other family members when he is or isn't around, the girl he tells that he loves every night before he goes to bed, IM HIS GIRLFRIEND. and the list goes on. we've talked and argued about this so many times already and it always ends the way it always does with him saying that he loves me, that he's in love with me, that im the woman he wants to marry and the woman he wants to have his children with (although that will not be any time soon) but he's not ready to be committed at this age and that he is going to talk to other girls regardless. okay. maybe i seem dumb or something but some days im just like okay whatever, im content because i know that even if he may be talking to another female, i'm still his number one and that he will never put another girl before me. other days it just bothers the hell out of me.. i just feel like if i'm the woman he loves and wants to be with in the future, why do something to ruin the chances of what we may have? i know people may say "girl, he doesn't love you." i'm not being naive when i say this but i know he's in love with me, but he feels he's just at the age where he's just not ready to commit yet. people tell me that just having the label is too much for a person to deal with. i dont know.. him and i, we honestly have two different outlooks on almost everything (and i love that) and i'm here trying to understand his point of views with what you guys think about all of this. i'm sorry i am babbling.. i'm just very in love and very confused and everything in between. your advice and comments are most definitely appreciated. thankss so much. (link)

It sounds to me like this guy is a first rate bum. You are compromising what you expect and deserve in a relationship so he can go mess around. This guy wants the benefits of having you as a girlfriend without giving you a commitment in return. Not wanting to be in a committed relationship is OK. Holding on to you while he plays the field is not. Dump this guy and date someone who will give you the respect you deserve. Maybe he'll see what he has lost and will change his wandering ways. If he doesn't, move forward and don't look back.

Hope it works out,

Lime




read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop

eXTReMe Tracker