Member Since: July 7, 2004
Answers: 1
Last Update: July 7, 2004
Visitors: 472
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My best friend "Cara" is honest. A little too honest. In that sort of brutal way. She tells everyone the truth, but she does it in such a mean way. Me, Cara, & our other friend "Kandi" all went shopping one weekend for swimsuits. I tried on a bikini, & Kandi said I looked great, but that I should get a blue one instead of a pink one. Cara, on the other hand, said that it made me look chubby (even though I'm super thin) & that I should get a one-piece, like she is. Later that day, she criticized me & Kandi bcuz we were pigging out on pizza, while she only ate a salad. Another weekend, me, Kandi, & Cara went to see The Stepford Wives. On our way to Kandi's house, Cara was whining the whole way there. Even Kandi's mom agreed that Cara is a pain in the @$$. I have to see Cara again on Friday. What should I do if she's bitchy to me & Kandi again? (link)
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This is a hard situation to be in... but here's some food for thought. Did you ever notice that people who are mean or judgemental don't have very good self-esteem? Think about it this way... Micheal Jordan is playing basketball with a ten year old kid. Of course this child isn't as good as Micheal.. but chances are Micheal would be encouraging and supportive. Cuz Micheal has nothing to prove...he's one of the greatest players in the world... He doesn't need to make fun of this little guy, the way maybe an older brother or a friend would who feels like they are in direct competition. What i'm trying to say is that it sounds like you friend is judgemental and rude about the things she's uncomfortable with about herself. For example.. misery loves company, she feels uncomfortable in a two piece bathing suit... so she's going to make you feel dumb in yours, and suggest you wear a one-piece. Here's my advice... don't take her personally. Feel sympathy for her because alot of what she says to you is really what she says to herself. Show her what it is to feel good about yourself and wear that two piece bathing suit!!! If she's a good friend of your then be honest with her, though not mean. Hearing the truth from a kind friend might really help her to learn in her relationships with people.
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