Member Since: November 22, 2015
Answers: 1
Last Update: November 22, 2015
Visitors: 208
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How do you go with the flow when it comes to sex but stay true to the limits you set for yourself? What if you are a virgin and really would like to have sex but want it to be with someone who is actually committed to you so with guys who are not fully committed to you don't let them get fully in your pants, how do you deal with your sense of frustration following that. I had an amazing make out session with a guy I'm very attracted to but didn't let it get to full sex and now I feel like I cheated my body out of what it naturally wanted to do and am worried I gave him blue balls (from dry humping?). Ideally I'd love to just have sex but in my head I fear the emotional repercussions of doing it with someone I dont have a strong foundation of trust with. How can one negotiate the natural flow of sexuality with a sense of self-preservation? (link)
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I come from a very strict parenting background and have lived through what you're describing to the tee. From personal experience I can say that I never regretted not having sex with someone I didn't have strong feelings for but I can also say that there were a few instances where I did regret giving myself to people that didn't really matter or take my feelings seriously. I truly believe that respect is everything. But first we must respect ourselves before we require others to respect us as well.
As far as feeling sexually gratified, masturbation is a wonderful outlet. Making out with someone is enough of an emotional test to see if there is anything worth pursuing. The trick is to not let yourself get carried away in the moment. Believe me I know that it takes a monumental amount of self control to keep things PG rated. Trust your instincts because they will rarely fail you. If you aren't very very sure about your guy then all signs are pointing to wait! Look, let's be honest here. Most guys will do anything and say anything to have sex to some degree. That does not equal respect, or love, or even like. It simply means they are horny for you. Take that as some sort of compliment but that's all it is unless you've built up some sort of friendship or romantic relationship where he will definitely make you feel like a princess and completely safe. Until then keep a cool head when everything else is burning up! You sound like a sensible person. Hope this help. :-)
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