Member Since: December 28, 2014
Answers: 2
Last Update: January 3, 2015
Visitors: 539
|
| |
|
my life wasn't necessarily better. but i was never depressed, though sometimes i got a bit sad. and i always had straight As. things changed around the time i turned 13 or 14. i don't get how it could be puberty, when i had my period at like.. 10. and school wasn't necessarily super difficult. and yet i had a horrible time in high school. i started college and had to take a break because i still couldn't overcome my past to focus on my future. i have dreams and everything i want to chase, but while in the past, i'd be that one kid who always went OVERBOARD on a school project, and was able to get myself to do it on time and everything, now the most difficult part is getting the motivation to go all the way through and not get distracted by the internet. it's not that i wasn't frequently on the internet at a young age, i was, but it was easier for me to switch that off and do the work. now it's like.. i have so much hatred for myself that i won't even let myself do the great work i'm capable of to get into my dream school or get that A+ due to the essay being given in on time, and etc. i mean.. i feel a lot of my depression happened because my social life was pretty much dead in high school, but i didn't have much more of a social life when i was younger and i was still optimistic for the future. i used to even read all the time, and now, i haven't read a book for fun in months. i have a goodreads account with hundreds of books but i feel now i dont even have the time to get into that because i have other responsibilities i'm neglecting. i mean.. i don't think it's just laziness because with other things i go beyond normal. at work, although i'm working on my tardiness, i always go extra. i'm normally one of the earliest to arrive and one of the latest to leave. and when i say i'm early and late i mean like i could come even earlier than necessary, to get extra pay, cause my hours are flexible. but once a counselor just said it was laziness and i found it offensive because that is not my situation. i can't turn in an assignment that's crap. i'm that one who takes the group project by the reigns when i feel others aren't doing enough work for our shared grade. it's ironic, because i'm actually better at committing to things like group projects and work because they involve other people, and even if they're not my friends, i don't want responsibility for failing others. with me however.. it's so difficult for me to write college application essays. excuse my grammar here, i'm actually a good, detailed writer, but i'm just letting my thoughts flow out naturally, here. i've had bad experiences with therapists so i thought maybe some peers here would be more helpful, as i don't really have friends to confide such info to, who could really help me. anyways, i feel like self-promotion is a bit vain so it's so hard to write about myself, when i have to. i just hate how inefficient as a person i've become. i used to be so strong and now like i don't even understand why i sabotage myself. if i want friends i'm not helping matters if i'm not in college. if i want my dream job i'm not helping matters if i'm not doing well at college. etc. how do i commit to doing good things in the long run, instead of maybe trying it one day and giving up the next? it's not right that i feel i'd have been a better college student at 12 than now at 19. mentally, i think that it's fine i dont have a boyfriend or anything now, it's totally not important right now, but dumb things do get to me unfortunately, as i'm human. but being human isn't just about being weak. it's also about being strong. so i should be able to not let such things get in my way or make me feel bad about myself to self-sabotage just because i have made mistakes in the past, and have some regrets. i can't change the past, so regrets are useless. and nobody's perfect, and i don't seek perfection, but i seek being the best i can be, and i know now that i'm currently not at my best.. sorry for the repetition. but yeah. i really hope you can help, i'll read any genuine help (link)
|
Hii Lady,
I think you are way to hard on yourself. If you want to be happy you have to take life one day at a time. You're in your head way too much. Stop thinking about the past because the past is just what it is THE PAST. Don't give whatever negative experience you had in H.S power over your life. You have to realize your power that you have over your life. If you're constantly feeling sorry for yourself and always thinking about the negatives then you're giving all your power away which causes you to be depressed. Make you mind up to just be happy and stop comparing yourself to what you use to be. Instead, focus on your strengths that you have now and apply that to your life. You cant change in a day it takes repetitions. SO instead of feeling down and beating yourself up and meditating in depression take that energy and meditate it in positivity. Because whatever you constantly contemplate about becomes your reality. I defiantly understand how hard it is to make friends, but instead of looking at it as trying to make friends look at it as just trying meet and talk to one new person everyday because most people like to meet other people. You have to put yourself out there and learn how to mingle but also be yourself. You can do and have what ever you want in this world as long as you don't have limitations in your mind. I hope this helps stay positive. *Peace*
|
|
Okay. So I am sleeping over my friends house tomorrow night. It will be the second day of my period which is the heaviest. She is a really close friend and I don't care if she knows that I'm on my period. But the thing is... Her mom is my teacher. It's not awkward at all because she is my favorite teacher and she is really awesome and my friends and I have talked to her at school about period stuff. I never leak (I have a method.) But what if I have bad cramps and I look really sad or I can't do much, and she asks me why (my friend and I are in the kitchen a lot because we like to cook, and she is Usually there) what do I say? I just don't want it to be awkward. (link)
|
Hello Lady,
Don't worry about little things like that. Your friend and her mother are both females so they will understand that at times that you will feel uncomfortable while you're on your period. To keep the situation from becoming awkward give them both heads up that its your time of the month if you want. To get a little control over your cramps drink plenty of water, stay away from caffeine and use a heating pad for muscle spasms. Try to have a good at your friends house and don't worry yourself about something that hasn't even happened.
|
|