Member Since: October 31, 2013
Answers: 1
Last Update: October 31, 2013
Visitors: 237
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So, this is kind of a long story, but I am going to try and condense it as much as possible. I am a 22 year old female, soon to be 23. When I was 18 years old, I was planning on going away for college, but due to a series of events (family members becoming ill, going through some personal things), I decided to stay home. I was planning on going away the second year, and then the third year, etc. After the third year passed and I was still home, I did not see a point in leaving because it would take me longer to complete school and most of my credits may not transfer to another university (you know how that is, it can be difficult). So, I stayed home and finished school here, while living at home. I decided to make the best out of it, so I got involved in the university, and have been holding 2 part time jobs. For the first 2 years, of my school, my mom was not working. I was completely and totally supporting myself and her. Now, she is working, but I am still working in 2 part time jobs.
two years ago, I met my boyfriend. She met him and she loved him. But, I really believe my mom is bipolar. she changes her mind about things too quickly and too sporadically. The first nine months, she LOVED him. She would always make us dinner when he came over and she was so happy that I had a nice guy in my life. I was pretty happy too. I live with my mom and my grandparents. My grandparents come from a different upbringing where a woman should not be out alone unless she is married. they are very strict. I am almost 23 and I am not allowed to drive by myself at night. Therefore, I can't pick any night classes. I am not allowed to sleep over at anyone's house or have anyone sleep here. I cannot be out past 6pm without my mom or my boyfriend. It's really crazy. I have no privacy in my home. Sometimes, I just want to be alone so I can talk on the phone or do my work. But, that doesn't happen. They will break down the door if they want to talk to me. They even come into the bathroom while I'm in the shower and open the shower curtain. Sometimes, I see that I have 25 missed calls and they are either from my mom or my grandma. My aunt lives across the street and she has just as much authority as they do. I feel very suffocated.
You must be thinking, why hasn't she moved out? Well, let me explain. I live in a VERY expensive city. The cheapest apartment I have found is $1100. That is a lot considering my monthly income is about $1200. But, now I am seeing the need to move out more and more. My mom has started hating my boyfriend. She has never met his family and she says she hates them too. She has given me until decemeber to break up with him and says that is all that she's giving me. I found out something disturbing about the family that I do not wish to put here. I understand that when you marry someone, you marry their family, but my mom has treated him horribly and he has put up with it. I don't like this kind of pressure. I am taking this one step at time and praying about it. but, I don't like to be given these kind of timelines. I am graduating in December and I was planning on moving out right away so that she won't harass me with this anymore.
I graduated with a major in education, but I am getting my masters in speech. I have a year before I can start school again for my masters because I need to take the pre-requisites. So, I was thinking of taking a teaching job in the meantime so that I can move out. However, I know that I need to save money because I really want to go away from my masters. I hate the city that I live in. I want to explore the world. I've talked to my boyfriend about it and he will be done with his masters by the time I finish my pre-reqs. So, he would be willing to come with me. I would love to even apply to schools in the UK. I'm not saying I'm going that far... but, I need to save money for wherever it is that I do go. Should I take a teaching job? Even though I'm working on my pre-requisites? How about moving out? Would it be the right thing to do now?
Please help! (link)
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This story is something that people don't really hear about, so I'm glad you posted it. I agree with what these people have said, you are legally an adult. It looks like you are pretty unhappy, and are only happy when you can escape your household. I feel the same. I sneak out because I am not yet an adult, but it seems like even though you are 22 you have more restrictions than I do and it is impacting your life, namely your education and love life. If this man is willing enough to help you, you need to let him. Your parents and grandparents cannot say no, and maybe when they are gone they will realize how harsh they have been. For your boyfriend to deal with these strict rules, it truly shows that he loves you, especially for the person you are and have become through this. Keep trucking on, find that affordable place, and let your life be your life, not your families!!!!!!
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