Member Since: June 1, 2014
Answers: 1
Last Update: June 1, 2014
Visitors: 402
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24 Male
My ex and I broke up a month ago (she broke up with me) and it was messy. She wanted me to stay in contact but at the same time she needed space. We tried for a few weeks but everytime we talked, she would get angry at me. We decided it was best for both of us to move on.
When we were together, she was still in contact with an ex-boyfriend of hers, who she had never actually met in real life. He lives in another country. She had an online relationship with him and they had known each other for 10 years. Her relationship would comprise of talking to him over Skype and texting. He was in her life through out all her previous relationships and had always had an issue with her dating guys in real life. Whenenver she would have a boyfriend, this guy would be pushed away and whenever her relationship wouldn't work out, he would be back in her life. This was a problem for me and I raised it with her. She got angry at me, saying he's just a friend. She lied to me. He was a guy she would always go to to talk about problems. She had loved this guy. Anyways, she said she didn't need him in her life and cut off all contact with him.
My issue with him was that he was emotionally manipulating her. Because he had been there for her in the past, he felt that he could have a say on who she dates. She developed this emotional dependency on him and whenever she would have an argument with him, she would take it out on me. Either way, enough was enough and I asked her to cut off all contact with him.
Fast forward to when we broke-up. We had a lot of arguments regarding this guy. She resented the fact that she couldn't speak to him anymore and that was part of the reason for her breaking up with me. I cared for her and let her know that this guy is just there to get something from her, he's there to prey on her because she's an attractive girl. He really doesn't care, but she thinks he does. It got to the point that as soon as she broke up with me, she got back into contact with him and I can only imagine the crap he's telling her.
I am worried about her. I'm worried that she'll do something stupid, like give up her life here and fly over there just to be with him. This was originally a plan of hers before she met me. When she met me, things changed and she no longer had that plan in mind. However, when things didn't go well with me, when we argued, she would go talk to him or feel the need to talk to him. I felt my relationship with her was doomed as long as he's there. I'm worried that this emotional dependency she has with this guy will make her do stupid things.
We haven't spoken in a few weeks. I'm tired of seeing my care for her being mistaken as controlling her. I saw something that she couldn't see and that was this relationship with this guy was unhealthy. Now she's talking to him again, I don't know if it's my place to even say anything. It hurts seeing her make this mistake again and again. I'm beginning to think I shouldn't even contact her ever again. (link)
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Me too. Im worried about my ex of what he do and if he's happy now.
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