Ask me for advice on any aspect of life. I've had experiance with everything and more.
As an immortal [vampire] of many years, I have learned the ways of karma and the world and feel that although this is only a bit of online-fun for me, I could really help some of you people.
Gender: Female
Location: Amiens, France
Occupation: None
Age: 255
Member Since: April 7, 2004
Answers: 6
Last Update: April 7, 2004
Visitors: 2038
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She's trapped inside her own world of sins
She can't get out, but she never wanted to get in
No one seems to notice, they just pass on by
Everyday she puts on her best smile, never wanting to start to cry
She's ashamed of everything she's ever put herself through
If she could only start over again, there's things she would not do
She never really wanted to be that kind of girl
But it was just so easy to fall into that world
Her world just keeps on falling down, around her like a thick cloud
She can't even see a thing, can't even hear a sound
Her skin crawls with angst, not knowing what to expect
She's afraid to open her eyes, afraid of what she might see next
She'd huddled in a corner, wrapping herself in her arms
Trying to block whatever it is that might put her in some harm
A single tear rolls down her cheek, the one she's tried so hard to block
She's tried to find the key, the one to open up the lock
She never wanted to be bad, but never wanted to be good
She doesn't know which way to go even though she should
The girl looks deep inside her own reflection, to see what she can find
But all she sees is false hope and deception, it's what she's trying to hide
But, you wonder, how I see all those things you can not see
It's a secret I've tried to hold dear, but that little girl is me (link)
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The aspect is quite good, but I have to say it does drag on just about forever, and it doesn't flow right.
You need to use less words; try a thesaurus. And good luck with your next poem.
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