jada_lynne's advice column | jada_lynne's Advice About Friendship

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Q: Okay I have decided That i want a STEADY advice buddy which means that i want to have one specific person (that actually LOVE giving advice) That i can write to wheneva i need advice. Im senseing that some of the advicee that is giving to me is not serious. I wont someone that will actually think the advice that they are about to give to me and not go off their own disappointments. Example: If I ask someone what should i do about my boyfriend I dont want the response to be...(FORGET HIM!!! HE'S NOT WORTH IT) Just because that person have had some problems in their relationship. I wont a person that I can send direct msgs to. I also want someone that wont take FOREVER to respond bacc because I really do need help on some situations. So please, if you feel as if you can be a great advice buddy then please respond. Thanks

I am new to this site but am a regular on another site and have been there for almost 3 years.

If the person you are looking for to help you needs to agree with you, I am not the one you're looking for.

One of my tag lines is... "If you don't want to know the answer...don't ask the question." I don't mean that in a smart way, but I am completely honest in my opinions and give advice in an honest and open manner. I figure that if people want to 'hear what they want to hear,' they can go to their friends and get stroked all day long. My assumption has always been that most people turn to the anonymity of the internet in search of the truth.

I'm not big on private messages but I do talk to people through my email on occasion.

ghost.of.jada@gmail.com

Good luck in your endeavor,
Jada

Q: Ok well here's the problem first I don't have any friends I don't hang out and my dog is my best friend .and you are probably thinking what the hell .but I think I am antisocial .I don't have nothing in comon with people .actualy people eritate me its like what people do doesn't make any since. So I just keep to myself I can't say that I'm happy but its just the way that I am so does this make me antisocial ? No clue !!

I don't think you're necessarily antisocial...particular maybe. I think once you have a 'better' variety of people to select from, you may feel differently.

It sounds like most of the people you currently know simply don't have the same interests as you.

It would be great if you could meet some people who do share your interests. If you have certain hobbies, entertain the idea of meeting up with others who share that interest.

You don't say your age. I'm assuming that you are young and just haven't had many opportunities with like-minded people.

There's a whole big world out here. I hope you find your niche. We all need friends sooner or later.

Take care and best wishes,
Jada

Q: i need advice on what to say to my roommates about me moving out in december/january.

heres background info.

me and 2 people have an apartment together for college because the school doesnt have dorms. we were supposed to get a 4th roommate cause its hard to pay rent with just 3, but it never happened. i've hated it here from day 1. they both ditch me all the time, they are inconsiderate and selfish, and its almost impossible to make other friends because we are off campus. i'm 110% positive i want to leave, i just dont know how to tell them. they will hate me because theyre gonna have to find another roommate or pay extra money each month. please help!! im nervous and idk how to confront them about it :/

There is nothing you can do about how they will feel or treat you once you tell them that you're moving out.

What you do have control over is doing the right thing by telling them as soon as possible so they will have time to make other arrangements.

Tell them what you've told us here...(short version). Just say look, I'm not really happy living here and am going to make other arrangements. I will be moving out on _______(date). I am letting you know now so that you can find another roommate. I don't want to make this hard on you two. Also, I would like for all of us to act like adults about this and treat each other with respect during this time.

Once you do that...the ball is in their court. They will behave like adults, or not. Either way, you'll know that you did the right thing.

Good luck,
Jada

Q: 19/F. This is the third time this week I'm crying myself to sleep :/

If it weren't for work or school...I'd have nothing to do! I just feel really sad. I have some friends and they're all nice people, but none of them "get me". I just don't feel a connection with any of them.

I'm a friendly person and I'm not socially awkward (promise). However, I'm not a super social person. I'd much rather hang around with a few people I already know then continuously meet random people. What can I do to change my situation?

You may or may not have a social disorder...that's something we can't tell you over the internet. The only way to know for sure is to seek medical attention.

It sounds to me like you may be a little bit shy around new people, which can be normal for some people.

Either way, here is my suggestion for you. You have work and school. Your current friends are quite cutting it. Sometimes that's just what happens as we grow up. You may have simply outgrown the friends you have at the moment and that's okay too. Find something that you have a passion for and volunteer in that area. It could be working with underprivileged children, terminal patients, the elderly, the homeless, an animal shelter, abused women...you get my drift. Find something new that you can really put something into of yourself and I believe you'll make some new friends along the way. Friends that do 'get' you and share some of the same ideas and passions in life.

The easiest way to get over feeling sad, depressed, or sorry for yourself is to find someone who is worse off and make it your mission to figure out how to help them. Making new friends in the process is an added benefit.

Good luck to you,
Jada

Q: I've written a novel series that I'm attempting to get published. And well, I included a character like a person who I had a falling out with a while back, and well, I'm kinda taking this chance to tell this friend that I will still be their friend, regardless.

Bad idea, or good?

No, it's a bad idea. If you wish to mend fences with a former friend, the least you can do is talk to them about it face to face. Inserting that into a book would be an insult.

My opinion is that you should make contact with this former friend and arrange to have lunch, drinks, coffee, dinner or something social and take that opportunity to explain your feelings. That way, at the end of the meeting, you should know whether or not it's possible to mend the fence and move forward with this person or whether the chance for that to happen is behind you. Putting it in a book seems...juvenile, and I'm not trying to offend you.

Good luck,
Jada

bio

Southern girl...loves family, Rotties, beaches, mountains, and being outside!

If you don't like the answer...don't ask the question!

Girls like us don't come along often. Like us and you'll grow to love us. Hate us and you're just wasting your time. You can't beat us and you sure as hell can't join us...