My mother's speech on my wedding day, "...my daughter is wise beyond her years, and has been more of a mother to me than I have to her..."
It was a touching moment for me, and a realisation that she was probably right.
I'm 28 yrs old, and helping people is the most rewarding feeling for me.
I have had my share of downs, and lived to tell the tale. Amongst just some of the hurdles I faced in my life: my attempted suicide, harrased by my fathers ex lover for 2 years, my father's many affairs (at least 6), my mother's breakdown which left me to fend for myself as a 14 year old along with my 3 month old sister at the time. Seeing my friend murdered, having aother friend commit suicide, disovering 4 new half brothers and sisters.
After everything life threw at me, I have managed to come out a stronger person, and much much wiser. Sometimes the going get's rough and I feel helpless and frustrated, but I always bounce back.
I'm here to give advice as best I can, and pride myself on having always given fair, and objective advice - even when it was to very close friends, and my advice wasn't in their favor.
Gender: Female
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Occupation: Personal Assitant, wife & stepmom
Age: 28
Member Since: October 27, 2004
Answers: 17
Last Update: December 2, 2004
Visitors: 2820
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Ok, i have this friend, lets call her Jane. Jane used to be really friendly last year, and we were REALLY good friends. Now, we're still friends, but shes not very friendly anymore, she lies all the time, she steals away the guys i like, and shes just not the same Jane she used to be. What do i do? Do i tell her?
-Concerned Chick (link)
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If you and Jane are or were such good friends, then why can't you just be honest with her?
And how can you still call her your friend when she is doing what you say she is?
People change and sometimes friends grow apart. Which sounds like you and Jane.
YES, tell her. Be straight forward!
Confront her about everything she is doing, and if your friendship doesn't withstand the talk, then you two aren't really friends anymore.
If she owns up to what she's doing then maybe there is something deeper in all of this. She might be jealous of you.
If Jane isn't honest with you when you confront her, then just cut ties. You don't need a friend who can't be truthful to you.
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Well its my first year in college and I am like 500 miles from home and I only know 3 people up here at college. I have joined the softball team at my college and that has really been my only way off meeting people and all the girls on the team are really nice. My thing is, is that I would like to go and hang out with the girls on the team outside of practice and seeing them at school. But they seem to have their own little groups between them and me being a freshmen, I feel like they don't want me to hang out with them. They talk about going to parties and going out during practice but never tend to invite me, and I don't want to feel like a bug and invite myself or say anything about me coming along. But I am just getting sick of hanging out with the same 3 people everyday and night. I would like to have some other people to go and do things with instead of sitting in my room doing nothing. See my problem is, is that I am shy so I don't talk much while at practice or games so that might be why they don't invite me but thats just how I am for a while when meeting new people then after a while I open up. So what do you suggest that I do? Any advice would help. Thanks a bunch!
Sorry this is long (link)
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The logical thing to say would be to try and open up, and start talking more with people. But I know from experience it's easier said than done.
I was also very shy at school, even afterwards, I found it difficult to make new friends.
So the only thing I can suggest you do is what I did. I joined some new clubs, Drama, Art, Tennis, Swimming, SRC and Choir.
I soon started meeting new people and made new friends. Some of these friends I still have now almost 11 years later.
Try to expand your social activities by maybe joining a couple of new teams or clubs, you'll find it easier to meet more people.
The other suggestion is, if you are comfortable with it, then throw a party yourself. Invite your 3 friends, tell them to each invite a friend or 2. You would have already then met at least 3 new people.
Soon you'll have an abundance of new aquaintances and friends.
I wish you all the very best, and hope my advice helped a bit!
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