about

i'm kathryn, but i prefer to be called kay. i am 17 and i am a senior. i don't have the most exciting life, but i still have fun. my favorite colors are blue and pink. i am christian and I LOVE GOD. my boyfriends name is kyle. we've been dating for 10 months, almost 3 years on-and-off. i love photography. i want to go to college at Texas State with my best friend. i'm obsessed with stars and music.

giving advice is something i enjoy doing because it makes me feel like i'm doing something... alot of people have come to me so i feel as if i should be doing something else about it and thats partly why i have this advice column...

advice

I'm not sure what to do but i think my best friend might be being sexually abused by her dad...and i dont want to come out and say it but at the same time if it is true i dont want herr to be getting hurt! soo please help me out it wouold be greatly appreciated

If you are suspecting it at the very least, talk to your friend first. She will know it is very serious and if so try and talk her into going with you to maybe the police station or just someone that will listen that might be able to help. She will probably say no, just remind her how serious it can be and how bad it can get if she doesn't do something about it right away. I hope I helped and maybe gave you a few ideas of how to help this situation out. I wish the best of luck to you and your friend!

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So one of my friends whi i don't like that much, but I am nice to, likes one of my best friends. The thing is that I like him too, when she told me i was speechless. she doesn't know that i like him, but what should i do? I'm thinking just leave it be?

Try to talk to your friend that you like and see if he likes her and if so, try to just wish the best for them. If he doesn't like her, try to tell him that you like him. I know it may seem weird, and it may be hard to tell him in person, but honesty is reallllly important. At least you will know that you put the effort into telling him how you feel. Never just give up on something you want, that's not the way to go at it. I wish the best to you and I hope I helped!

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ok, my freind, J-lo, (that's her real name) Always wants me to do things with her. What I mean is, this girl name Clair, I'm her friend she my freind. J-lo be rolling her little eyes at Clair, and I look at J-lo like she stupid, so I'm like, its ok that you not her friend but you need to stop. She was like, "I can't belive u her friend." So, I don't say nothin'. And yada yada yada, then Clair asks me can she sit at lunch with me, so, J-lo all like " no no say no." But I say yeah. Then she be gettin' little attitudes. Every time She not someones freind who she's not, she think that we both always got to go with what she say and tell me not to be that persons friend. its like we both have to have the same friends and have the same enimeies. And I'm mad about that. And whenever I get mad, and need to tell something to someone cause they making me upset, I go alittle too far with the voice tone. I would really snap someone off to tears, how am I going to tell her. Or should I tell her off about how I feel? I'm almost close to not being her friend.

If J-lo is saying all those things and trying you to be enemies with someone just because SHE doesnt like her, shes not a very good friend... She needs to be able to let you have your own friends too... I'm not saying to not be her friend, but try and talk to her about it as calmly as you can in person. If it is easier do it over the phone or online, but in person is the best. Ask her why she doesnt like Clair and tell her just to not talk to J-lo because then it might be easier for the three of you.

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It is my joy in life to find
At every turning of the road,
The strong arm of a comrade kind,
To help me onward with my load.

And since I have no gold to give,
And love alone must make amends,
My only prayer is while I live,
God make me worthy of my friends.

wow that is a really pretty poem. i love writing poems and i have to say that is better than most of mine!!! GREAT job!!

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Okay, two friends Brooke and Anne. Anne likes Eddie, and Eddie likes Brooke, and Brooke and Anne and me are great freinds. Thing is, all Anne ever does is talk about Eddie, and when Brooke and Anne and Eddie are online in a little "buddy chat" Eddie will say that Anne is pretty, and funny, and then outside of the "buddychat" he will i/m (instant message) Brooke and say, "she's not pretty, She's not funny" its so horrible. Now, all Anne says is that she really likes Eddie, but Eddie likes Brooke. All the time she talks about him, and she always asks questions like, do I look okay, and do you really think he likes me? and I always say yes, but its like I have two people telling me things, one through each ear. Anyways, heres the huge part, Anne and Eddie are going to be working together this summer, as life guards. And, so Anne thinks she has a shot with him. Now, two nights ago, Eddie and Brooke went to the movies, and they made out. Anne would NEVER make out with anyone. But Brooke wont go past that. I know this is really confusing, but they both come to me about it. And Anne and her boyfriend recently broke up, so Brooke and me think thats why she likes Eddie, because its the first guy that she thought of after they broke up. At first, the first time i had heard of Eddie was through Brooke, she was going to bring him to six flags with me and My boyfriend. But now Anne likes him. and she says that he asked her out in 6th grade but she said she had to think about it. last weekend, Brooke, Anne and I went to a movie, and Eddie was there, and Brooke was very social, and was striking up and conversation, and Anne wasnt, she just said hi, and was asking me if she looked okay. So I dont know what to do any more.

Any sugestions? Brooke and I know we have to tell Anne, but we have dropped every hint, and I even told her that we think its because her and her boyfriend broke up, and that she should stop liking him. she asked me the other day what I did when i liked a guy that didnt like me back, and i said just move on, and i told her that was the story of my life, until now, i have a great boyfriend, and Brooke and Anne both wish they had a guy like him- we've been together over 15 months!- anyways, and i toled her it was pretty much the story if every other girls life too!

Help Please!
I Know you guys hate these types of questions!
Sorry, I tried to make it as least confusing as possible, but it is confusing enough to live.
Thank you guys so much in advance!!

-KeLsA-


:)

if it matters, I will rate and leave feedback! :)

thanks!!!!

first off... i think thats the most explain question i have read in here... THANK YOU...

but the best thing to do is to be honest with her. she can't be led on like that because one day the truth will come out and if it lasts much longer she will be depressed beyond what you can emagine. also, you might want to try and talk to eddie about the whole thing, and how it's not a good idea to be saying those great things about her when really he doesn't feel that way. try and get him to lead her on less and less. also, try and get her hooked up with some other guys at the mall or something. don't go with brooke or eddie or your boyfriend, just you, anne, and some guys that she might like. she has to get over him as soon as possible or things could go wrong... she might blame herself for him not liking her and that's never good.

but the best way to tell her this is in person. online or over the phone never works. if she gets mad or upset just look her in the eye and let her know that you just want whats best for her.

last but not least, you are SO right about how it's confusing enough to live. i agree 100%!!!

hope i helped

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well my friend to,d me the other day that she tried cutting and she showed me the scar. i told her it was bad and everything..i was like yelling at her not to do it again and what it could do to a person. she told me she would never do it again and so far she hasnt i made her let me see her wrists..and i know there are other places that she could cut too like her stomach and stuff..but im not going ot do a full body search on her everyday and im really worried about her. she made me promise not to tell anyone else..but i told my other really good friend i know she won't tell because i know she would be worried about her too. i really dont want to do and i dont know if shes lying and is still cutting..and i don't want to tell anyone because it was just one time and if she really stopped i would feel bad she would be really mad if i told on her. she would never tell me anything else again and im scared i will loose her friendship. im really worried about her please help me i rate high**

--michelle

i'm kind of like your friend. i tried cutting once and it wasnt good. i regreted the whole thing and i promised to myself that i wouldnt do it again and i havent. maybe your friend is the same way. she probably wishes she didnt do it becuase it wasnt worth it. just ask her and tell her to be honest. look her in the eyes when you talk to her though... most people can't look at people in the eyes when they are trying to tell a lie. p.s.... if you want to try and get a peak at her ankles or inner thighs... thats where alot of people cut. ask her to go swimming somewere!! then you will have a really big chance to see.
hope i helped!

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ok hey i know u lol....ok ill tell u when i send this k.

Ok i have this friend Chrissy and i have my friend Carlos hes my next door neighbor...and she comes over alot and i want to know if she likes me for me or she just wants to hang out with Carlos...any advice or hints..that she would like me or just come over to hang out with Carlos?
Thanks

is this a guy or a girl?
if its a girl... talk to her about it... sometimes friends use you, but they get over it. it has happened to me twice. however, i talked to them about it and we worked it out together. tell her that if she DOES like him, she needs to go over to HIS house. and i would advise you to talk to Carlos about it as well. he might need to know so he can help you out.
if i was in your position, i would tell Chrissy the truth. trust me, if you can't tell your friend the truth the friendship wont last long! i've learned THAT from experience!!!
leave a name next time! i might be able to give better advise if i knew who this was...

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I’m a (female) high school senior, and I'm "one of the guys.” For a while now, I've had a big crush on Alan, my best friend at my school, the quarterback. He’s a jerk and a player, but a great friend.

For about a year he dated a popular younger girl, Bella. Recently, he asked our mutual friend Naomi to Prom, and Bella dumped him. He and Naomi immediately hooked up. However, he began leading me on big time, and I kissed him. It was a dumb move, but it doesn't seem to have damaged my friendship with anyone, not even him.

Now, though, he's dumping Naomi to go back to Bella, and I’m going nuts. It's not that I want to be with him--I know it'd never work out, and I'd rather stay his friend… but he’s hurting. He's been miserable for two weeks: pale, sickly, and sad. Naomi's nearly lost her head, when normally she's so cool and calm. I’m not close to Bella, but she’s hurt and that hurts me too. Everyone is miserable and it's killing me. I love Naomi and Alan as friends, and I can't bear to see them suffer.

Further, Naomi's friends Jennie and Jackie are making life a living purgatory for all of us. Jennie and Jackie are just plain malicious toward Alan (and I can't blame them). Jackie, in addition to using this to get back at her hated rival Alan, is using the opportunity to move in on me. She seems to have a huge crush on me, but can only express it in “Helga” fashion by bullying me. The girls’ meddling boils my blood, and watching them manipulate both Naomi and Alan behind their backs makes me suffer almost as much as the bad blood between the two star-crossed lovers.

All I really want is to come out of this with Alan’s friendship, and to restore the happiness of Al, Naomi, and possibly Jennie. I can no longer bear to watch them suffer; it’s killing me, I hate to see my friends so sad. There must be something I can do; some way to make things right, but I can’t find it. What can I do to help them?

It sucks seeing your friends in such a bad position... just be there for them... that's usually all friends want is to have someone to be there for them... And for the Alan situation, tell him how you feel. You need to be able to be honest with him... If you dont want to come right out with it give him really big signals, just not around Bella. It might take him a while to break up with Bella, but i bet if/when they DO break up he'll come after you if he really does like you!!!
hope i helped!

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my best friend has a girlfriend and i'm not use to him having a girlfriend .I keep geting pissed off i try not to show it but ,my friend cobly can tell when i look away or don't speak to any one . She (joc) asked me if i would get mad if they went out and i said no i was lying it does ,and we went to the movies the other day he begged me to go becasue his girlfriend couldn't go unless i did. So i went and his brother went his brother is about 16 almost 17. And we well we just started making out and tyler got mad ..and i don't know why i didn't say anything when him and his girlfriend kiss or hug or do that kinda stuff ..i don't know what to do know and oppitons ?

1st of all... honesty is one of the most important things in a friendship...
also... some of my BEST FRIENDS have done shit with my brother and it pissed me off so i kinda know where they're comming from...
just try and find someone for yourself to get your mind off of them!!

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my freind has 2 holes in each ear, and she wanted another one. has been buggin her mom for like half a year. a few days ago, she peirced it. she told me that it hurt...so she only stuck the needle halfway through. now there is a reddish purple bump over where the hole should be. it is soo noticable is it infected or something?

yep

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