Kiersten's advice column | Kiersten's Advice About Friendship

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Q: there is this guy i know...he thinks i am one of his best friends...but i cant stand him one bit! he is soooooo effing anoyinggg..and i just dont wanna be mean--but its embarasinggggg

-----person w/ the anoying friend

ok what i think you should do is just not hang out with him as much but just gradually pull away from him a little bit then just keep pulling away more and more till you feel like your comfertable where you are. If he is smart, then he will kind of get the drift and notice that you are kinda pulling away from him and that you dont want to be that kind of friend with him. I really hope this helps if not then just come back and ask me another question!

Q: hey!! okay so im 13 and im a gurl! lol but yeah aneway sooo i got this friend and she likes this guy and like she always talks bout him and then when shes around him and stuff or like when i talk bout her liken him she TOTTALY denys it and acts like im crazy.. shes like uh i dont like him and then he gets mad at me fur "lien" to him.. and then the next day she wants me to tell him sumthin fur her.. and yeah im gettin sick of it and i dont just wanna tell her to stop and do stuff fur herself.. soo wut do i do?! sorry if this is too hard to answer.. it is kinda cunfusin! oh yeah and also like every freakin day shes changes her mind to wether or not she likes him! ahhh!!! lol kk well im dun!!

ok when a friend does that she really does like him and if shes making you tell him stuff then she may just be using you to do stuff for her.. but if you know your closer than that, then talk to her one day and just be like do you really like him or not? and be like i think you should just talk to him for yourself, dont keep asking me to tell him stuff for you. That will make him think that your shy, and alot of guys dont like that, most of the time they want you to come and talk to them! i hope this makes sence and helps you!

Q: hey!! okay im 13/f! so aneway.. okay i have this one friend and she calls me alot and stuff and she says wer best friends or w/e.. and then she acts all funny and normal w/ me and THEN when we are in a group with more "popular" people.. like we are both friends w/ them or w/e but she starts to act totally different and sum times doesnt even talk to me at all!! it suks so bad cuz i thought we wer best friends or w/e. so i told her that it kinda bugged me and she was just like k ill try to improve.. but then she did it again!!! wut do i do?! do i just stop bein her friend or give her another chance to prove that she can change?

ok this EXACT thing is happening to me! ok when you guys are together yall have fun and stuff and she actually cares about you,but when you are in a group of people, then shes TOTALLY different! ok well what I'm trying to do is just hang out wtih her more just us, and when she wants to do something as a group i just dont or i just get some people that i know whould actually hang out wtih me cause i know she will ignore me. My other friend thinks that we should jsut give up now because shes fed up, which i kinda am! so right now im just hanging out with her myself or getting people i want to come with us! i hope this helps! if you have any other questions just ask me!

love,
kiersten

Q: So my bestfriend is turning 17 Dec. 17th and I was planning on throwing him a suprise party. I already have everything all planned out and I already invited everyone! So everything is basically ready.

Well, last night his mom called me and told me that she didn't want me to throw him a party because she didn't want to pay for it. His parents are buying him a new car for his birthday since he had to get his older brothers car when he had first got his license. Since they were gettign the car, they don't want to speand any more money.

I told her that it wasn't a problem because I was going to pay for everything and she didn't have to worry about it. I was never even planning on asking then to pay for it.

Food isn't a problem because my mom already agreed to buy the food for us. Neither is alcohol becuase everyone always chips in to pay for that. And we already have decorations and stuff left over from past parites. And itisn't liek we have to pay for music.

I told her all of this and she still said she didn't want me to throw one becuase she'd fell like she was supposed to pay for it. How can I convince her that she doesn't and to let me throw him a party??

Ok~ this happend to me kinda...like if she doesn't agree with you, then just do it! Just ask him to come over to wherever your throwing the party, hell never know and his mom will not know and then he'll come home, tell his mom, and she will think better of you because you did that for him. If she does come back to you and ask you why you did it and everythign then jsut tell her that everybody chiped in and he is your best friend and you thought that it would be nice of you to do that for him.

love,
kiersten

Q: 13/f... okay, this girl and i used to be like really close, we would do everything together. Now, i realized why almost half of our grade hates her, shes just not a nice person. She talks about her own friends behind there back and has done some nasty things to me. But i just cant get her away from me. Alot of my friends are still friends with her. I've tried ignoring her, but it just doesnt work! What do i do to get away from her?

ok~when you hear stuff about your best friend, you should go talk to her about it. Tell her that yall need to just sit down and have a talk together. Start out slow though, don't through everything out at her in the first 5 minutes. Just ask her what shes been up to lately, then a little longer in the convo, then be like, __(her name)___ i've noticed that you ahve been kind of mean to me lately. Whats all that about? And ask her why she has changed, and maybe just be like well i think maybe its kind of mean what you have been doing, and I think you should try to stop being like that, youve changed so much since how we used to be. Then if she really still is your best friend then she will agree with you! but if she doesnt agree with you then try to nagoshiate somemore. but remember, if she starts yelling DON"T yell back. Just stay calm!

love,
Kierten

Q: okay well i asked that question about missa. and brittany and where all the girls in my grade come to the bathroom with me and so on..

Heres the story:

I IM'ED Marisa and I questioned "May i ask why you are mad at me and why you hate me?"

and she said:

Marisa: Yeah you may ask and heres the answer.. Because you talk about me behind my back.. You said im a backstabber.. You send my convos to people and try to get them to go against me.. your a spoiled brat.. you get pissed off when im hanging out with brittany.. And last but not least; You LIE.

Me: Okay, i never called you a backstabber... I never talked about you behind your back except the day you made me cry.. I ADMIT IT. I once sent a convo to brittany and nora when you said we arent friends anymore. And i was upset and they both helped me. I am a spoiled brat and i get everything i want. I do get jellous when you are with brittany but i suck it up, is that all a lie? no its all the truth.

Marisa: Yeah well i dont know if we can be friends with eachother anymore, i dont trust you!

Me: I don't know you are throwing away a good friendship and really im not going to come crawling back and if you do im going to reject your plead.

Marisa: You were ging to back stabb me anyways

Me: NO I WASNT!

Marisa: well thats what brittany said

********I IM BRITTANY************

Me: heyy

brit: heyy

Me: why did you tell missa that i was going to back stabb her, you are trying to just hogg her!

Brit signs off at 3:57:52 PM

**********MARISA IMS ME************

Marisa: why are you sending convos to people?

Me: im just asking brittany why she said that i was going to back stabb you

Marisa: Well I know you will i dont trust you!!

Me: dont okay, i apologize, but i dont think that you deserve a apology after what you did to me.

Marisa: bye

Me: bye

-------------------------------------------------

Do you think that i should get over her.. but now i have no friends and all of them went against me because marisa is making them and i feel heart broken....

should i apologize to god or should i forget about her?

x0o Brok3n

dear brok3n..
Ok, this exact thing happend to me. You did nothign wrong becuase you appoligized so don't show that your weak anymore. You have to act like you really don't care anymore. If she is really your friend and she cared for you then she'll come back to you and appologize. If she doesn't come back to you and appoligize, then don't worry because you have tons of other friends.
love,
kiersten

bio

Hey guys! im kiersten(im on the right in the pic)and i live in Georiga! I go to rsms and i have brown hair and brown eyes! my friends are AMAZING! i love to swim haha im on a swim team yea! but it kinda sucks! haha! but i LOVE to just be wild and crazy and everything! me and my friends just like run out in the rain alot and expecially lay out in the middle of the street at night! its so much fun! i love you!