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I have this really sweet guy friend I met online and we’ve been hanging out every now and then for the past I’ll say 5 months. We do text and talk often and we are physical as well.
I’ve been around him with his friends randomly. No major introductions.
So I was with him like February 7th and then I haven’t heard from him since. It’s going on about 4 to 5 days now of us not speaking. I don’t know anyone he knows and I don’t want to seem like a psychopath or stalker and message his mom but I am concerned about him. And I’ve text him and I have called him once. And I just wanted to know should I just let him contact me when everything is okay or should I go ahead and message his mom because I do care about this guy. (link)
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First of all... HEY, and happy new year!!! (yeah it's February). I say that because, it's highly important and significantly transparent to acknowledge the random and on-goingly (to some) the "little" things in life more often than just specific intimacies. It's overlooked by more people than you realize... so alot.
So, you have to keep in mind, that YOU'RE making a social exception to be here, there (and chatting btw), even if it's online and per member... YOU are allowing people to be around and near you, and THAT is a BIG accomplishment!
Horay to YOU!!! :)
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Secondly, I'm curious about how you "decide" to spend those whole days NOT communicating the way(S) you'd "like" to.. :/ "re-have"?????
...Because, it's one thing to "sum up" a "seemingly" sweet paragraph, BUT if you care more than you let on, it's important that the "any time apart"(ergo "alone") IS important too.
Aren't YOU worth that much?
... so DO THAT.... "irregardless",
if "some"one.. IS-there-in-your-corner or NOT-in-your-corner.\
Peace is not only for treaties, you know.
~ Don't subtract giving yourself you-legitimate-soundness....
Beside you'll be there if y'all are.
Just "let time sensibly arrive openly".
That's most important.
However (Please NOTE...),
if you REALLY think there is something wrong, IN GENERAL or something then yeah, (without being too much) yes being "annoying" IS BETTER care than none.
You'll be and do fine....
:)
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I'm not sure what is the right thing to do. I'll be honest, I know a lot of people don't like my boyfriend. We're both 22. He's difficult, can be very blunt/honest, which seems mean, and he went through a period last couple months when he was depressed; you know how it is to be around people who are depressed. He hasn't exactly been the funnest to be around. He lost a lot of his friends and even my friends know that he wasn't doing well. A couple of times that he was at my friends house he sort of acted antisocial and sat in the corner. They told me this was annoying and created a poor atmosphere and that they miss hanging out with just me. I told them he was having a hard time, and they seemed to understand, told me to talk to him about it. There was also a conversation we had unrelated to him in which they told me that they didn't want me to invited random people to their house unless I asked.
Now about the event, these same friends who are two sisters and one other girl just graduated. Their family of the two sisters who are good friends of mine is in town and the day of their graduation they invited me to a party at their house after, the same day last minute. Since I asked who was going and they said them their family and boyfriends and our other friend I didn't think twice about not going with my boyfriend (since I had already made plans with him before they invited me and felt bad telling him to go home because I had other plans). I talked to him before and he promised he wouldn't act antisocial or badly. Well I live 30 minutes away and it was 10pm at night when they said to come over, I already was tired but I thought these are my good friends, I'll go for them. We started driving and as soon as we got there we were about to walk upstairs and they found out I was with him and told me that they never invited him and they thought I was clear not to bring people over without asking them.
This is true I should have asked, but I honestly thought they were talking about random people not my boyfriend who I do a lot of things with. I knew they felt like he was kind of creating a bad time but I didn't think they didn't want him around. I told them that. And then told them I could turn around if it was a big deal. And they responded "We didn't think we had to spell it out for you, we don't want him here because of what we talked about before and my family is here so you can come but not with him" so I had to turn around and drive back home 30 minutes lost a total of an hour and my feelings are really hurt. I would never do that to someone.
Am I wrong? Were they wrong? I'm not sure how to feel... Yes I understand it is their party and I should have asked, but I can't help but feel really upset that I drove there for them and they told me to leave. I know he's not the most fun person, but he is not an asshole, he is not disrespectful to other people. He is just quiet and doesn't talk that much because he is not that happy in his life. He doesn't want to be this way. He has made progress and he is afraid of ending up alone because people don't like him. He just has a hard time with relationships, but he is a good person. I feel like I am losing my friends because of this, it is really frustrating and I'm not sure how I should respond to what my friends did. Talk to them, don't talk to them, what is the best thing to say to them, should I let them know in upset and what is the best way to tell them how I feel? I could really use an outsiders advice on what seems right.... (link)
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Yeah... this situation seems a bit like a douzy.
You don\'t want to trade your boyfriend for your friends,
OR
Your friends for your boyfriend.
It doesn\'t seem right or fair.
And you probably shouldn\'t have to either...
Although, your situation is indeed \"specific\"....
In comparison to people who get into NEW relationships and experience \"similar\" strains.... I think (as of right now) you\'re just going to have to consider what\'s best for you.
Personally, I\'m unbiased to your friends claims and your feelings to stick with your boyfriend.
On both accounts, each side/perspective have good reasons... it probably sucks that time with your boyfriend and time with your friends may need to be separate though..
Your friends spoke with you, and told you what they don\'t want to tolerate.
As personally offended and as resentful as you \"can\" be about that, your friends \"were\" honest with you.
On the other side, you spoke with your boyfriend, and observes that he\'s in a rut. Things like that happen. And anyone whose (at least) worth their shirt, won\'t leave a person stranded in times of depression/stress...
BUT, I do think you should reflect on some things.... like:
(1) How long has he been in this \"rut\"? It\'s a good question because maybe he\'s showing external signs of \"disconnection\" and may be somehow falling into a \"comfortable state\" of being \"anti-social\"... If he was social before and is not anymore, you may want to review that, ESPECIALLY, if you met him during his \"social\" phase....
(2) Additionally??? Although, everyone is not made of money, Maybe you should try making the \" social events\" yourself(ves). For example, get the local newspaper and magazines and find out what are the events going on in your area (or driving zones) and schedule (you AND him) for ALL of them for about a month or so (for as long as you can keep them up financially and resourcefully I guess). Make sure that they\'re all community and social events (not like the movies; more like carnivals and circuses and sports arenas and stuff like that).
I suggest this because maybe you ought to try \"re-connecting\" him to the \"Society-At-Large\", BEFORE trying to \"reconnect\" him to a smaller group of people.
You\'ve mentioned that he has lost ALOT of friends, so \"trust\", \"willingness\". and/or \"vigor\" to go and connect with small group(s) of people again. At least not so easily and/or so quickly. You may be rushing him and/or desiring your way from him (and/or your friends) against what\'s right... right now....
Moreover, These friends are YOUR friends, not his.
And he may simply NOT \"like\" them very much, but rather cause somewhat \"another\" issue between you and him, he hasn\'t told you as much.
Therefore, as the old adage goes, \"If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all\"...
This may explain why he\'d distant and quiet, when y\'all go out...
He may just be in that realm of thinking...
Don\'t choose anything permanent yet. As long as he is not \"suicidal\", you may just have to hang out with your man and your friends \"separately\", which in the \"beginning\", seems like, was all \"they\" were \"ASKING\".... from/of you in the first place...
Think about it and consider your options..
Hope this helps.
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My best friend(Danielle) is sort of ignoring me. It's been a really long time since she asked me to hang out after school or on the weekend. We still talk to each other every day. We sit by each other at lunch and on the bus, but lately she has been hanging out with this girl Luisa. Luisa isn't mean or anything, but its just that since she became friends with Danielle, Danielle has been practicly worshiping her. She always needs to ask for Luisa's opinion on everything. Every weekend she's with Luisa.
Danielle has also been trying to be emo. Its sooo annoying!!! Whenever she says that she went to hot topic or when she tells me she downloaded some song from a band I never heard of she thinks she so cool. I try to tell her shes not emo but she thinks she is!
BTW: I don't want to tell her I feel left out or something and shes like my only friend sooo....??? (link)
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It\'s hard to lose a friend you spend everyday with. Adjustment issues and all.
It\'s even harder when it an only friend.
Although, I wouldn\'t advocate \"staying alone\", sometimes people take for granted how being alone is good too.
You get to explore what YOU want.
You can take an initiative to try to get her back.
You can try give Luisa a chance.
You can scrap the entire friendship because it no longer serves your social and personal needs.
You can deal with it til another opportunity presents itself via other friends.
You COULD tell her how her new friendship is making you feel. At then, you\'d be able to find out where she stands on her feelings about you and yalls friendship.
Another thing, maybe your friend just needs to try something new.
Maybe there is something that made her seek another friendship outside of the one you have/had with her?
You may need to question that too.
It likely that the longer its not discussed, the worst you\'ll probably feel.
If it\'s a friendship you\'d like to retain... then try to resolve the issues present, even if their invisible to you...
Good Luck
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My friend is scared of her dad (link)
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She may have good reason to be.
This is not a easy scenario.
You haven't revealed any facts, so I'm going to hypotheticized a worst case scenario.
She needs to leave home, as quickly as possible...
This is no easy task...
If she were to request help, it would probably go a lot faster, however, it's likely to be a slow and agonizing process, especially if her fear is actual.
How old is she?
Can she live with relatives?
These are important questions because nowadays there are programs all over the country that assist with domestic situations and troubled youths and people.
The U.S. is practically an "addict/rehab" country now.
I'm going to list several sites you can help her check out...
1) This one is a .gov site which explains a little something about residential programs and what questions should be asked before enrolling (concerns, qualifications, duration, etc.)
http://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0185-residential-treatment-programs-teens
2)This one here is a program in Connecticut.. it lists a phone number to consult and to with counselors and other research information is on the site.
http://www.newhavenrtc.com/
(3)This one here is the National Association of Therapeutic Schools and Programs. It seems to be an entire collection and alternative programs that could open up an multitude of options and resources to someone who calls...
Also, depending on which city or town she is in she could also go and visit her District Attorney Office and request a meeting. They tend to be a wealth of information, resources and options that may be availed to her. Just a thought.
Have you and your friend keep safe and continue looking for ways to help her deal and/or ways for her to leave, permanently if possible and... if that what she truly wants...
You took a step for her.
Good Luck
http://natsap.org/
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When I started high school this year, all of my friends started making new, older friends and having these great relationships. When I tried, no one seemed very interested in getting to know me. I just stuck with the few friends I already had and I feel like I'm totally missing out on my high school career! I'm in a lot of clubs, attractive, funny, and easy to talk to but it seems like I'm still the odd one out.
I think its because I try to hard and when someone does go out of their way I get clingy and excited that someone tried you know? What should I do! I want more friends and an exciting life. (link)
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The good thing is that this is the first of four years you have. By you joining as many clubs, you've already placed yourself in a great position to meet new exiting people. Also, you've named alot of great qualities within yourself. My question is do you believe that they fail in comparison(
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